Unknown Pleasures
by ComeOnJustifyMyLove
Summary: At a Joy Division concert, a burning cigarette catches Sara's eye.
1. Chapter 1

Unknown Pleasures

Chapter 1: Disorder (1985)

Sara POV:

I tilt my head up towards the ceiling and close my eyes, listening to the sound of Steve Perry's voice echo off of Resa's pink walls. _His voice, I don't think I've ever heard anything like it before._ Suddenly, the music stops. I open my eyes and look down at Resa, she's at the foot of her bed; boom box next to her thigh.

"Why did you turn it off? That was my favorite part."

She turns her head towards the door and I hear a soft knock on her front door. _Oh_. She chuckles and climbs off of her bed, walking out of the room. _Someone was at the door_. I let out a small sigh and lean over to the boom box, pushing the power button on; _Steve Perry_. I lean back against the pink wall and hear the door open. I turn and Resa walks in, BB and Richard following behind her.

"What are you guys doing here?"

BB jumps on the bed, resting his head next to my thigh. My lips pull into a tight line and he takes off his snap back hat, resting it on my knee. No matter how many times I've told him no, he still tries to get close.

"You girls wanna go to a concert tonight? My Pops landed me four tickets."

Richard says, looking at Resa with raised eyebrows. Resa turns to me and her eyes light up, no doubt her brain already searching for an outfit in her huge walk in closet.

"Wanna go, Sara?"

I feel BB shift against my thigh and I look down, his eyes looking into mine. _He wants me to go._ I turn back to Resa and she has her lip between her teeth, silently begging for me to say yes. It's Friday. I'm spending the night at her house. Her parents are out of town. _My parents wouldn't know._

"Uh, yea. Who's playing?"

Resa jumps up from Richards lap and walks to her closet, a smile on her face as she pulls the chain hanging from the ceiling.

"Joy Division. I don't think you girls listen to that style of music though, at least Resa doesn't."

I look at Resa and she looks at me, shrugging her shoulders. _Joy Division?_ I've heard the name before, just never heard their music. I mean, at least I don't think I have?

"Sara, you wanna borrow an outfit?"

I trail my eyes down to my outfit, eyeing it with confusion. I'm wearing a knitted black sweater, which is a little too big for me, and my favorite Skinny Guess Jeans with a pair of plain black Jelly Bean flats. _What's wrong with my outfit?_

"No, I'll just go in this."

She takes in a small breath and slowly nods her head, looking back at her clothes that are hanging in her closet, most of them having glitter and sparkles. It amazes me, Resa and me. _How different we are._ I mean, financial status, we're both the same. Both of our parents are lawyers, we have huge white houses to prove it. But, personality wise, we're both so different.

Resa likes glitter. Anything that sparkles and stops traffic a mile away at how bright it is, Resa wants it. Resa likes Madonna. According to her, that's her idol; _'Her style just speaks to me on an emotional level.'_ And, jewelry. Resa loves to walk around with beads and pearls hanging around her neck, tied in a little knot at the bottom.

Then, there's me. I have things that sparkle, but I only wear them when I go out and have dinner with my parents. I don't like Madonna as much, I prefer Journey; _'His voice speaks to me on an emotional level.'_ And, jewelry? It's never been my thing. Besides my ear piercings and the necklace my grandmother gave me, I don't wear any.

"Sara, your hair looks pretty today."

I hear BB's voice. I tear my eyes away from Resa and look down, a piece of hair falling into my face. My lips curl into a small smile and he lifts his hand, pushing my hair behind my ear. I take in a small breath and look down at the ends of my hair. _BB loves my hair._

He tells me every day at school. He tells me every time he walks me home. He tells me every time he sees me. _He tells me all the time_. But, I don't understand why? My hair is completely straight. It has no life to it, nor does it bounce brightly when I walk. The only thing it does is fall into my face whenever I run my fingers through it. It's annoying.

"Thanks, BB."

His lips pull into a small smile and he closes his eyes, pressing his head further into my thigh. _I wish I liked BB_. I do. He's the sweetest guy I know, and he's always complimenting me. But, I don't feel anything for him. I mean, I care about him. Just, not in that way. He's like a brother to me.

"Baby, we gotta leave in an hour. They go on at 9."

Richard says, his voice laced with annoyance. I turn to Resa and she rolls her eyes, walking over to her Vanity, plopping down on the small chair.

"I won't be that long, Rich. I just have to do my makeup and hair."

Richard groans and tosses his head back against the bed, shaking his head. Resa rolls her eyes again and opens her makeup bag, pouring everything out on the desk.

"Shut up, I don't take that long."

She's annoyed too. I look down at Richard and he takes in a deep breath, trying not to say something back. They argue all the time, but lately he's been biting his tongue for the small things, which is good. I think?

"Just hurry, okay?"

* * *

I look down at the ticket in my hand, the word's _Joy Division_ take up most of the paper. I feel a large hand on the small of my back and look back, BB's face right over my shoulder. He smiles and motions to the line with his chin. I turn towards the line and notice that it's moved a couple of feet. I walk the few feet and turn back, looking at BB, Richard and Resa. Resa looks mad and Richard looks annoyed, both of them standing next to each other with pouts on their faces. _Great, they're fighting again._ I turn to Richard and he points over my shoulder. I turn and see a man standing next to me, holding his hand out.

"Ticket?"

I hold it up for him and he grabs it, ripping the bottom bar code off. He hands it back to me and points his thumb to the door, another guy standing there with a handful of wristbands. I walk over to him and he hands me a blue one, motioning to his wrist. I nod and wrap the band around my wrist, snapping it into place. I feel a familiar large hand on the small of my back again and I tense, finding his touch too intimate. I step away and enter the warehouse, the sound of people talking filling my ears. I look to my left and there's a small hallway with a large black curtain at the end. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes fills my nostrils and I feel my stomach turn. I've never been to Concert in a Venue, only at large places.

"You okay?"

I hear BB's voice. I turn and he's standing right next to me, his eyebrows raised in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just never been to a Venue before; I don't know what to do or where to go."

His lips pull into a small smile and he laughs, looking down. Suddenly, I feel his long fingers slip between mine. I take in a small breath and he tugs my hand, walking towards the curtain. He walks in front of me and I look at our hands between us. This is the first time he's ever held my hand . . . and I don't feel _it_?

 _'It's like a shock. It's like a bolt of electricity running through your veins. It's a little scary, but the feeling you get after . . . It feels so good, Sara. I don't know how else to describe it, but as a shock.'_

Resa's words run through my head. I didn't feel a shock when he grabbed my hand, I didn't feel _anything_. BB pulls the curtain back and a cloud of smoke hits my face, making my nose scrunch up. He pulls me in more and my pupils grow wide. The room isn't exactly big, but it's filled with a lot of people.

I follow behind him as he pushes past people, people who are eyeing me with confusion. I squeeze onto BB's hand and let my eyes roam over the crowd. _We don't fit in._ Everyone here is dressed in Denim Vests with Patches sewn onto them. Social Distortion. The Sex Pistols. The Ramones. The Clash. The Misfits. The Smiths. _Yeah, we really don't fit in here._

"I'm gonna grab a beer, do you want one?"

I turn to BB and he's looking at me, eyebrows raised. _He should know by now that I don't drink._

"You're gonna go grab a beer, man?"

I hear Richards voice behind me. BB nods and I feel a pair of bony fingers grab at my arm. I turn and Resa looks around, her eyes wide in fear at the people surrounding her. _She's the one who wanted to come._

"I feel like I should have let you dress me."

I look down at her outfit and take my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to hold back my laugh. She stands out, _bad_. She's wearing a white sweater, the top cut to hang off of her shoulders. A pair of tight skinny jeans with neon orange leg-warmers and white heels. _Yeah, she definitely stands out._

"Where did BB and Richard go?"

I turn my head to the side and look at the people surrounding me, searching for two familiar faces. Suddenly, I hear shouting. People turn their heads towards the stage and lift their hands up, big smiles on their faces. I turn towards the stage and see 2 guys standing there with guitars, one guy sitting in front of a drum set and one guy standing in front of a microphone, his hands gripping the microphone stand for dear life. _They must be Joy Division._

The two guys on the guitar begin to strum, the drums slowly entering. I take in a small breath and listen as the beat starts to accelerate, getting faster and faster with each second.

 _So this is permanence, love's shattered pride_

 _What once was innocence, turned on its side_

 _Grey cloud hangs over me, marks every move_

 _Deep in the memory, what once was love_

I trail my eyes to the man gripping his microphone, watching as he sways from left to right with his eyes closed. My stomach grows warm as his voice fills my ears. His voice, it's not like anything I've heard before. His voice is raw and low, yet surprising soft. _Gentle_. Like he's testing the words out as he sings. _It's amazing._

"We're back."

I feel a familiar hand rest on the small of my back and I turn, BB's face right over my shoulder. _He's so close._ I slowly move away, looking at the people surrounding us. They're all jumping up and down with the music; some people even have their eyes closed. My lips pull into a weak smile, this is _their_ music. _This_ is the music that makes them happy.

"So, how do you like them so far?"

I hear BB's voice. I trail my eyes back to the singer and watch as the words fall from his lips, his eyes shut tight. He's singing like it's the only thing keeping him alive. _This_ , is music.

"I love them. His voice is amazing."

The music slowly fades away and I close my eyes, waiting for the next song. _Waiting for his voice._ Suddenly, the drums start to play. A soft beat, the guitars joining in gently. I open my eyes and look at the singer. His back is facing the crowd; his shoulders slumped as he lifts the Mic up.

 _I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand_

 _Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?_

 _New sensations bear the innocence, leave them for another day_

 _I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away_

"Hey, I'm gonna go and get another beer. I'll be right back."

I feel BB's hand leave my back and I turn to the side, watching as his body disappears into the crowd. I take in a small breath and slowly skim through the people around me, watching them get lost in the music. My lips pull into a small smile and I start turning my head towards the stage, when something orange catches my eye. I look back in that direction and my eyes land on someone leaning against the wall, their whole body black as a shadow, a cigarette hanging from their lips. The person next to them leans against the wall and the stage lights glow around the left side of their face, my pupils growing wide. It's a _boy._

I take in a short breath and look at the cigarette between his lips, watching as it burns a bright orange. Suddenly, he lifts his hand and places his index finger and middle finger around the cigarette, pulling it away from his lips. Smoke slowly blows out of his lips and into the air, the blue stage lights making it look like a fading cloud. I trail my eyes down and skim over his body. He's dressed like everybody else, but a little different. He's wearing a Denim vest with band patches all over it, a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a pair of black skin tight pants. I move my eyes up to his face and study his skin. _He must be pale if it looks this blue under the stage lights._ I take my bottom lip between my teeth and slowly move up, noticing how firm his jawline is as I stare at his lips. _They look relaxed and soft_. I trail my eyes up more and look into his, feeling my lungs close. _He's staring straight at me._ Not only do the blue stage lights make his skin blue, but the color around his pupils too. The corner of his eyes scrunch up a little and his left eyebrow rises. _How long have I been staring?_

I turn my head towards the singer and take in a short breath. Suddenly, I feel my skin begin to burn. _Is he still looking at me?_ I swallow a puddle of saliva and slowly turn my head towards the boy, a shiver running down my spine as our eyes connect again.

 _It's getting faster, moving faster now, it's getting out of hand_

 _On the tenth floor, down the backstairs into no man's land_

 _Lights are flashing, cars are crashing, getting frequent now_

 _I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it out somehow_

I gently cock my head to the side and a piece of hair falls into my face. I lift my hand up and tuck it behind my ear, noticing his lips pulling into a small smile. I feel my cheeks burn and I take my bottom lip between my teeth, watching as he places the cigarette between his lips again. The tip of the cigarette turns bright orange and he removes it from his lips, closing them. I watch him. _I want to see the way the smoke dances off his lips._ Suddenly, the smoke leaves his nostrils. My pupil's blossom and I watch in fear and amazement. _Doesn't that hurt?_

The guy next to him leans down to his ear and the boy stiffens, tearing his eyes off mine and planting them on the ground. My eyes soften as his features change from relaxed to . . . angry? He brings the cigarette back up to his lips and takes a short inhale before tossing it onto the concrete ground, the smoke leaving his parted lips in a rush. The guy next to him walks in front of him and the boy pushes his body off the wall, running his hands through his hair. _Where is he going?_

I take a step towards his direction and he turns his head towards me, his eyes softening as they stare into mine. My feet plant themselves to the ground and he licks his lips, his chest rising and falling at a steady rhythm. _Is he leaving?_

 _What means to you, what means to me and_ _ **we will meet again**_

 _I'm watching you, I watch it all, I take no pity from your friends_

 _Who is right, who can tell and who gives a damn right now?_

 _Until' the spirit, new sensation takes hold, then you know_

He tilts his head back and I trail my eyes down his long neck, watching it drink in the blue stage lights. I take in a short breath and look back up, noticing the small smile on his lips as our eyes connect. My cheeks start to burn. The guy in front of him taps his shoulder and the boy turns to him, slowly nodding his head. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and he turns to me, no smile on his face, no heavy gaze. I tilt my head to the side and he turns away, walking behind his friend; disappearing into the crowd. My skin burns and I turn to the wall where his body once was. I close my eyes and imagine him standing there, a cigarette gracefully between his lips while his eyes look into mine.

"You okay?"

I hear a familiar voice. I open my eyes and BB's standing next to me, blocking the view of where the _boy_ once was. The look in his eyes flash genuine concern and I look down at the ground, finding the floor littered with burnt out cigarettes. _The boy._

I feel his large hand on my back and I lift my head, looking up at BB. He cocks his head to the side and I force a smile onto my lips, gently nodding my head. He stares at me for a quick second and nods, bringing his beer up to his lips. He turns his attention up to the band on the stage and I tilt my head forward and look to the side, the wall bare without a body against it.

* * *

I fold my pants and set them down on the desk, feeling my eyes droop. I turn to the boom box resting on the nightstand and lean down, pushing the button to the side. The soft beat of Kajagoogoo fills the room and I walk over to the right side of Resa's bed, climbing onto her soft pink satin sheets. I pull the white comforter over me and rest my head against the pillow, a satin pink pillow case covering it. _Resa and pink._

"Did you have fun?"

I hear her voice from the hallway. I turn to my left and she walks into the room, her makeup gone and her clothes replaced by a pair of cotton shorts and a white t-shirt.

"Yeah, I did. I thought they were pretty rad."

Resa walks to the lamp on her desk and pulls the small string, the room suddenly dark except for the street lights shining through her window. She walks to her side of the bed and climbs in, pulling the comforter over her. I turn onto my side and she does the same, so we're facing each other.

"BB didn't take his eyes off of you all night. He's got it bad."

I take in a small breath and look down at the sheets between us, a familiar face coming to mind. His blue pale skin. His sharp chiseled jawline. I blink and look back up at Resa.

"I don't like him like that, Resa."

She raises and eyebrow and looks at me, her eyes searching my features for a playful smile. This time it's different though. This time, I'm not gonna smile and act like this is a joke. It's not.

"You're serious?"

She asks, her eyes softening. I take in a deep breath and nod, watching her features fall. She lets out a small sigh and nods, picking at a loose string on her comforter.

"I just thought it would be fun to both be dating best friends, since you and I are best friends."

A small smile pulls at my lips and I chuckle. _Oh, Resa._

"I know. Just get rid of Richard and we can find another pair of best friends, hopefully I like one of them."

She scoffs and slaps my shoulder, making me laugh harder. She smiles and I shrug, watching her shake her head.

"I'm not leaving Richard, you know that. I'm happy with him."

Her features fall and she looks down at the space between us, her eyes softening. She's lying to herself, _again_. Lately, things haven't been the same for Resa and Richard. The fighting has died down between them, but it's not the only thing that's died down. _They've_ died down, too. They hardly kiss each other, they hardly hug each other. In the beginning, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. But, that was a year ago. It's obvious that things have changed.

"C'mon, let's go to sleep."

She keeps her eyes on the satin sheets between us and nods, moving a little closer to me. _She needs me._ I move closer and wrap my arms around her, her head resting against my collar bone. She lets out a small sigh and I lean down, resting my cheek against the top of her head.

"Thanks, Sara."

It's quiet; I'm surprised I even heard it.

"I'm here, Resa. Go to sleep."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Enjoy & Review!**_

Chapter 2: Ceremony

Sara POV:

I set my books in my locker and shut it tight, placing the pad lock into the small holes. Today has been a long day and all I want to do is go home and take a nap while my new tape of Joy Division plays. Since the concert, I haven't been able to get the singers voice out of my head. _Or the boy who was leaning against the wall._

I take in a small breath and press my Pee Chee folder to my chest, turning to the open double doors at the end of the hall. I make my way to them. Since the concert Friday night, his face has been in my dreams every night. It's always the same, too. He's leaning against the wall with a cigarette between his lips, smoke coming out from his nostrils.

"You okay, Sar?"

I hear a familiar voice. I shake the boys face from my mind and look up, Resa standing right in front of me.

"Yeah, just thinking about something. Are we gonna meet Richard and BB outside?"

Resa nods and we slowly walk out of the double doors, the cool air of June sinking into my pores. We walk down the steps and I look towards the big Pine Tree next to the Flag Pole, Richard and BB standing there, looking across the yard. We walk towards them and Resa stops in front of Richard, tapping his chest. He looks down for a quick second and then looks back across the yard. Resa's features fall and she turns around, looking in the same direction.

"What are you guys looking at?"

I turn to BB and notice that he's still looking across the yard too. I turn and my eyes land on a couple of guys standing around a motorcycle. They're all dressed in Denim Vests with patches on them. My lips pull into a small smile, _the concert._

"That's the new kid's bike."

I hear Richard's voice. I turn to him and he's looking at the bike with a sparkle in his eyes. I remember Resa telling me that Richard wants a bike when he turns 18. _He must really like this one._

"New kid?"

Resa turns to Richard and he nods, his eyes focused on the hunk of metal across the yard.

"Yeah, just started today. I heard he only went to 2 classes, though."

Richards looks down at Resa and holds his hand out, wiggling his fingers.

"Wanna come with me to see it?"

Her lips pull into a small smile and she grabs his hand, squeezing it tight. It's been a while since I've seen them hold hands like that; _like they actually want to touch each other._

"Wanna come, Sara?"

I feel a large hand on my back. I turn to BB and he's right over my shoulder, too close for my liking. I slowly move away and nod, his eyes lighting up.

"Let's go."

I turn around and we all start to walk across the yard. BB's hand slowly moves lower on my back and I move to the side, closer to Resa. His hands falls to his side and he looks down at the ground, his eyes softening in confusion. _I wish he understood something that I can't bear to tell him._

I let out a small sigh and look up, watching the guys across the yard. They've all moved to the side, away from the bike. Richard lets go of Resa's hand and stops in front of the bike, kneeling down to check out the tires. We stop behind him and he stands, walking around the bike with his mouth open. _He really likes it._

I trail my eyes down to the chunk of metal and my pupils grow wide. _I can see why he likes it._ The bike is beautiful. The black paint looks smooth and shines like if it was just painted. The Chrome sparkles at every angle under the sunlight. I take step closer and trail my eyes to the seat, a black patch neatly sewn onto it. I take another step closer and turn my head, _a white frame with waves inside of it?_

"It's a Joy Division patch."

I hear a low, yet soft voice. A chill runs down my spine and I lift my head up, my eyes taking in a pair of black Doc Martens. Skin tight black jeans. A black t-shirt, covered by a Denim vest with patches sewn onto it. My heart starts to race and I slowly trail my eyes up their long neck, noticing the sharp jawline and relaxed lips. _I've seen those lips before, I've dreamt about them_. I move my gaze up and my heart stops, a familiar pair of eyes looking into mine. It's _him_. _It's the boy from the concert_. I swallow the puddle of saliva in my mouth and the image of him leaning against a dirty warehouse wall with a cigarette between his lips enters my mind. _The boy._

He takes a small step towards me and lifts his hand, reaching into the small pocket of his denim vest. He pulls out a thin tin box and opens it, his eyes on mine as he reaches in and pulls something out. I trail my eyes down to his fingers and find a hand rolled cigarette between his index and middle finger. He puts the tin box back into his vest pocket and brings the cigarette up to his lips.

"You want one?"

He asks, his voice so soft and low. _That's how he sounds._ I take in a small breath and slowly shake my head. His eyes soften and he pulls the cigarette away, placing it behind his ear with skill.

"Your friend really likes my bike."

He says, tearing his eyes off of mine. I take in a short breath and turn my head to the side, looking at Richard. He's standing at the end of the bike, his eyes wide as he touches the chrome parts. _Oh, Richard._ Wait, what?

"Your bike?"

I turn back to the boy and he turns to me, his eyes roaming my face as his lips pull into a small smile.

"Yeah, my bike. Why?"

"How did you get this, man? It must've cost you a pretty bill."

I hear Richard's voice. The boy turns to Richard and his lips pull into a firm line, his eyes raking over _his_ bike.

"I built it from an old shell. My Dad runs a shop, so I got the parts there."

My eyes grow wide. _He built it?_ The boy walks around to the back and stands next to Richard, watching him with stern eyes. _Is he mad at him?_ Richard stands up and puts his hand over his mouth, looking down at the bike with curious eyes.

"You wouldn't sell it, huh? Cause I'd pay a lot of money for this."

The boy's eyebrows rise and he turns to Richard, a look of irritation showing in his features. Richard turns to him and cocks his head to the side, a small smirk on his face.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I just told you that I built this shit by myself and you're asking me if I would sell it? Fuck no. Get lost, man."

Richard takes a step back, his features turning sour. _Oh, no_. He's pissed. The boy scoffs and turns his head towards me, his eyes softening as they look into mine.

"It was a fucking question, faggot."

I hear Richard's voice. The boy's eyes suddenly close, his jaw clenching tight. _Shit_. He opens his eyes and turns around, looking at Richard with a hard face. Richard smirks and turns to me, lightly chuckling. I trail my eyes down to the boy's hands and his fingers are in a fists, the veins in his arms popping out. _Oh_. He lifts his hand back and lunges it forward, hitting Richard straight in the jaw. I gasp, feeling my stomach turn. _They're fighting!_

"Richard!"

I hear Resa's voice, shouting into the open air. Richard stumbles back and looks at the boy, his eyes filled with anger as he pulls his fist back and connects it with the boy's mouth. The boy falls to the ground and my heart stops, _he's hurt._

"Richard, stop!"

I hear Resa shout, but I keep my eyes on the boy. He lifts his head and drops his hand down, my stomach twisting at the blood dripping from his chin. He pushes his body up and lunges forward, tackling Richard to the ground. Richard grabs the boys arms and flips them over, his fists colliding with the boys face. _No!_

"Richard, STOP! GET OFF OF HIM!"

I take a step forward and a guy walks up behind them, his denim vest hanging off of his body as he grabs Richard's arms and pulls him off of the boy. He tosses Richard to the side and the boy stands up, walking to where Richard is. My stomach burns. There's blood dripping from his eyebrow and lip, a couple of red marks on his cheeks.

"Tee, enough."

The guy says, standing in front of the boy. The boy looks up and I trail my eyes to the guy, it's the guy that was with him at the concert. _The guy who took him away from my sight._ The boy stands there, his chest rising and falling at a fast pace. I turn to Richard and he scoffs, shaking his head as he turns around and walks towards me.

"Baby!"

 _Resa!_ I turn around and she's standing behind me, her mouth covered by her hands and she looks passed me. Richard walks by her and she reaches out, grabbing his arm. He shoves her off and walks away, BB following right behind him. Resa closes her eyes and turns around, running after Richard. I want to go, too. But, my feet stay planted on the ground. _I have to see if the boy's okay._

I turn around and my eyes land on the boy, leaning against his bike with a cigarette between his lips; smoke leaving his nose. He keeps his eyes on the ground as the crowd of guys walk away, all muttering and shaking their heads. _They're leaving him alone?_ He's hurt!

I take in a small breath and slowly make my way towards him, my heart racing the closer I get. _Please, let him be okay_. I stop a few feet away from him and he closes his eyes, the cigarette shaking between his lips. My heart drops. He's not _okay_.

"I'm sorry."

I whisper, taking a step towards him. He slowly lifts his head and opens his eyes, turning to me. I gasp. _No_.The red marks on his cheeks have turned into light purple bruises, the cuts on his face are surrounded by raw-red skin and blood. _Oh my god_. He lifts his hand and takes the cigarette away from his lips, flicking it to the ground.

"What are you sorry for? That wasn't your fault."

He lifts both of his hands and runs them through his hair, the loose strands going back to their original place. _Is he trying to act tough?_ My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and I make my way to him, stopping right in front of him. His eyes gaze into mine and I feel my stomach warm, his eyes are light brown with specks of hazel.

"Are you okay?"

I ask, trailing my eyes over the wounds on his face. _I was right_ , his skin is pale. Suddenly, his eyebrows furrow.

"Let me give you a ride home."

He says, his voice low and rough. _What?_ He pushes his body off of the bike and turns to it, throwing a leg over the seat. He sits down and looks up at me, resting his elbows on the handles as his hands lace together. _Is he crazy?_

"You just got into a fight. The only place you should be going, is to the nurses office to get cleaned up."

He tilts his head to the side and stares at me, his lips slowly curling into a small smile.

"I'm okay, trust me."

 _Yeah, he's definitely crazy._ I take in a small breath and trail my eyes down to the chunk of metal, my nerves slowly surfacing at the thought of being on it. _I've never been on a motorcycle before._

"C'mon, it's not that scary."

I hear him chuckle. My eyes trail back to his and his small smile has grown, his cheeks puffy under his eyes. _Oh_. I feel my stomach start to turn as my eyes slowly roam his wounds again. The blood is dry against his ivory skin and the bright purple is getting darker.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I ask, taking a small step closer. His smile fades and he licks his lips, wiping a little bit of blood off of the corner.

"Yeah, I've dealt with worse."

His eyes soften and he looks down at the ground, his features relaxing. Worse? _Does that mean that he's been in tons of fights before?_ I take another small step to him and he looks up, our eyes instantly connecting. My heart melts. His eyes are filled with something, now. Something different from the ones that I saw that night at the concert. He looks like he's in _pain_ , not physical pain though.

"I don't even know you, or your name."

I let out a soft chuckle and his lips pull into a small smile, his eyes brightening up like gold under sunlight. _There's his smile._

"My name's Tegan. I moved here from Oregon and I'm 18 years old. Is that enough to get you on the back of my bike?"

My cheeks burn under his eyes and he laughs, licking his bottom lip with grace. _Oh my._

"Look, I'll even go slow. Okay?"

 _Right, the bike._ My nerves start to bundle in the pit of my stomach and I look back down at the bike, feeling a lump form in the middle of my throat. Would I really get on a Motorcycle? _His Motorcycle?_ Suddenly, a pair of honey speck eyes burns in my mind. _He'll be on the motorcycle, too._

"Okay."

I trail my eyes up to his and his smile grows. I take in a small breath and he untangles his fingers, holding out a hand for me. I swallow the puddle of saliva that's forming in my mouth and grab his hand, feeling a bolt of electricity shoot through my veins. My pupils blossom and I look down at our hands, his finger covering the back of my hand gently. _The shock, I felt it._

I trail my eyes up to his and he's gazing at me, a look of confusion etched into his features. _He must think I'm a freak._ Shit. I turn my attention to the small space on the seat and slowly lift my leg over it, sitting down. My legs brush against the back of his and I look down, letting go of his hand as my eyes skim over the denim covering his back. Patches of The Cure, The Smiths, and The Sex Pistols are sewn to it, a couple of pins scattered around them.

"You see the pipes that cross the back wheel?"

I hear his voice. I tear my eyes off of the patches and look down to my left, seeing a silver-polished pipe resting over the wheel.

"Yeah?"

"Put your feet on them."

He says, kicking back the stand of the bike. It tilts to the side and I wrap both of my arms around him, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt as my chest presses against his back.

"Relax. I have my foot on the other side, we're not gonna tip over."

His voice is smooth and low, making a chill run up my spine. My cheeks burn with embarrassment and I turn my head to the side, my folder resting between us as I lay my cheek on his shoulder.

"You okay?"

I take in a deep breath and close my eyes, the smell of cigarette filling my nostrils. _Is this what he smells like?_ My nerves slowly fade away and I relax my grip on his shirt, nodding my head.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Suddenly, I feel his warm hand cover mine. Another bolt of electricity shoots through my veins and my stomach turns, feeling his fingers gently tap against mine.

"What street do you live on?"

"Maycrest. It's the 5th house on the right."

He lets out a soft chuckle and squeezes my hand, then it's gone. I open my eyes and hear the engine roar to life, making my body jump. I let go of his shirt and wrap my arms tighter around him, resting them against his stomach. _The engine is so loud._

"Hold on tight."

I hear his voice over the roar of power. The lump returns to the middle of my throat and I lean closer, pressing my stomach against the small of his back. Suddenly, the bike starts to move. I stare out at the trees as they slowly pass by, a gentle breeze sinking into my pores. My hair blows out of my face as the trees pass by faster, my eyes barely taking in the leaves. _He's going faster._

I turn my face towards his neck and lean in closer, feeling the heat from his skin surround me. My lips curl into a small smile and I close my eyes, feeling my hair fly in every direction as we go faster. I should be scared. I should be terrified. _But, I'm not_. I feel okay. I feel safe. And, I know it's only because he's sitting right in front of me, my hands wrapped around him tight.

* * *

The wind becomes a gentle breeze and I turn away from Tegan's neck, opening my eyes. The tree's pass by, but I can make out their leaves. _They're familiar, too familiar._ I lift my head up from her shoulder and look at the houses. The Blevins' House. The McCarthy's House. The Anderson's House.

The bike starts to slow down and I lay my head back on his shoulder, closing my eyes. _I don't want this ride to end._ I don't want to get off this bike. I don't want to unwrap my arms from around him. I don't want to go a couple of minutes without the smell of cigarettes. I don't want _him_ to end.

The bike stops moving and I feel his thigh brush against mine as his foot kicks the stand out. I take in a small breath and grab onto his shirt, turning my head towards his neck again. _I really don't want to go._ The engine cuts off and the sound of birds chirping under the sun fills my ears. I open my eyes and lift my head up, turning to my house. It looks lonely. _It looks plain._ It looks like every other house on the block. Two stories high, white paint, navy blue shutters, a red door, and a flag pole with the American flag right in the center of the walkway.

"Nice place you got."

I hear his voice. I let out a small sigh and turn back to his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder blade. Suddenly, I feel his warm palm graze mine; his fingers gently tapping on my wrist. My lips pull into a small smile and I lean down, pressing my nose into the denim on his vest. The smell of cigarettes fill my nostrils and I close my eyes, savoring it. _Never have I liked the smell of cigarettes._ But, now? I can't get enough of it. It's the way he smells, and it makes my stomach warm. _I want to be surrounded by it._

"I remember you, you know. From the concert."

My heart stops and I look up, looking at the back of his head. _He remembers me?_ He turns his face to the side and my eyes follow, staring at his features as he looks towards my house. _He remembers me._ I slowly loosen my grip on his shirt and pull away, grabbing my Pee-Chee folder. He turns back towards the street and I place my foot on the ground, climbing off his bike; the sudden urge to see his face taking over. I take a step towards him and he turns his head, his eyes connecting with mine. My nerves slowly fade. _There he is._

"You left early."

I whisper, my eyes growing wide as realization hits me. _Shit_. I open my mouth, but stop when he tilts his head to the side, his smile growing wide.

"Yeah, I had some business to take care of outside."

 _Oh_. I close my mouth and drop my head down, looking at the ground beneath my feet _. Business to take care of?_ I take in a small breath and hear the sound of his kick stand being shoved into place. I lift my head and he's looking at me, his eyes burning into mine like sun on flesh. A lump forms in the middle of my throat and he lifts one hand, running his fingers through his gelled hair.

"What's your name?"

His voice is low, but soft. I swallow down the lump and feel it drop to the pit of my stomach. _What is he doing to me?_

"Sara. My name's Sara."

He drops his hand down to his lap and tears his eyes away from mine, trailing them down. My cheeks grow warm as his eyes take in my body, _he's checking me out?_ He takes his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes slowly move back up. _Yes, he's definitely checking me out._ My lips pull into a small smile. _He has no shame._ He knows that I'm looking at him. He's aware that I'm watching his every move, yet he's so open to do it. _It makes me wonder what kind of guy he is._ The kind of guy who beats around the bush, make's small hints here and there that I won't notice. Or the kind of guy to say what he wants, and _get_ what he wants.

"I'll see you later, Sara. Don't want your neighbor's looking."

He looks back into my eyes and I take a small step back, nodding my head. His lips pull into a soft smile and he turns towards the street, placing his hands on the handles as his foot kicks the engine to life. My stomach clenches at the loud sound and he slowly pulls away, my eyes trailing to the patches on his denim vest that cover his back. _I want to be pressed up against them again, with my cheek on his shoulder and my arms wrapped around him, fingers holding onto him for dear life._

"But, you're not."

I whisper to myself, watching his body grow smaller with each second.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Enjoy & Review!**_

Chapter 3: Heart And Soul

Sara POV:

I put my pencil in my back pocket and pick up my Pee Chee folder, hugging it close to my chest. A couple of kids walk in front of me and I slowly follow behind them, stepping into the crowded hallway. Voices fill the open air and I turn to the double doors, feeling my heart race with each step. _It's been a week._ A _whole_ week since I've seen him. A whole week since I've seen his denim vest with patches sewn onto it. A whole week since I've seen his black tight pants and cut up t-shirts. A whole week since I've seen his gelled back hair and brightly polished motorcycle. A whole week since I've seen _Tegan_. And, _It's driving me crazy._

I step across the threshold and a cool breeze sinks into my pores, the sun shining lightly behind gray clouds. I slowly make my way down the school steps and turn my head to the side, my eyes landing on a familiar crowd. I stop at the bottom of the steps and slowly skim through the crowd of faces. (i)He's not there.(/) No hair slicked back by gel. No motorcycle sitting under the dim sunlight. _He's not here_.

"What are you looking at?"

I hear a familiar voice, his large hand resting on the small of my back. I let out a small sigh and turn my head to the side, BB's curious eyes scanning my face.

"Nothing. Where are you going?"

I ask, hugging my folder closer to my chest. He looks down at the floor, then takes a small step towards me. I tilt my head to the side and he looks up, a couple strands of hair falling over my eyes. His lips pull into a small smile and he lifts his hand, gently tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I'm gonna walk you home. C'mon."

My lips pull into a small smile and he gently pushes me, both of us slowly walking down the long path.

"How's Richard?"

I ask, looking down at the ground beneath me. He hasn't talked to me since the day he fought with Tegan. The next day when I showed up to school, all I got from him were dirty looks. I asked Resa why he was mad at me and she said it's because I chose that 'faggot' over him; one of my best friends. I didn't even respond. I wanted to, though. I wanted to tell her not to call him that, remembering how his fists clenched at that word. Then I wanted to tell her that I didn't choose Tegan over Richard, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't lie. Richard was gonna be okay, he's a strong guy. Tegan on the other hand, I didn't know.

"Still pretty pissed. But, I can tell that he misses you. He asked Resa if you were gonna go to her party on Friday and when Resa said she didn't know, he got pretty bummed out."

He gently nudges my shoulder and I look up at him, a small smirk on his face. I let out a soft chuckle and sigh, _I miss Richard too._ It feels weird just hanging out with Resa at lunch, no BB or Richard. I miss them.

"So, are you gonna go to Resa's party? You know we all want you there."

I look back down at the ground and shrug my shoulders, watching my feet switch from left to right every second.

"I mean, I want to. Should I?"

"Yeah, I think so. Maybe you guys can make up there or something."

BB lets out a loud laugh and I smile, shaking my head.

"Yeah, maybe."

* * *

I press the play button on my boom box and the tape starts to spin, the sound of a familiar rift floating through the air. After the Joy Division Concert, I went to Craig's Music store and found a couple of there tapes. I've been listening to them every day, but there's one song that I can't seem to stay away from. _Disorder_. It's the song that was playing when I saw him.

I flip the switch on the wall off and grab my boombox, slowly walking to my bed in the dark. I place my boombox on the left side and climb onto the right side, pulling the covers over my chest.

 _I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand_

 _Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?_

 _New sensations bear the innocence, leave them for another day_

 _I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away_

I put my head on my pillow and look up at the ceiling, the street lights outside shining on it. I close my eyes and listen as the instruments blend together, making my insides turn. _The way the cigarette hung from his lips._ I take in a deep breath and lift my hand up, running my fingers through my damp hair. _The way his body leaned against the wall, shoulders hung loosely while his head was tilted back, neck exposed to me._ A tingle runs down my thighs and I press them together, feeling my heart start to race.

 _It's getting faster, moving faster now, it's getting out of hand_

 _On the tenth floor, down the backstairs into no man's land_

 _Lights are flashing, cars are crashing, getting frequent now_

 _I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it out somehow_

I take my bottom lip between my teeth and squeeze my fingers, pulling my hair gently. _The way the smoke left his lips, like he was softly kissing it goodbye_. This time, the tingle shoots between my thighs. I bite down harder on my bottom lip and ignore the sting, feeling a chill run down my spine. _Oh my god_.

 _What means to you, what means to me and **we will meet again**_

 _I'm watching you, I watch it all, I take no pity from your friends_

 _Who is right, who can tell and who gives a damn right now?_

 _Until' the spirit, new sensation takes hold, then you know_

A loud bang rings through my ears and I sit up, opening my eyes. I look around my room and feel my nerves rattle, finding nothing out of the ordinary. I press the stop button on my boom box and the music stops, nothing but my heavy breathing filling the room. Another bang rings and I turn to my window, noticing how the bang sounds like glass cracking. My heart begins to race and I slowly pull my covers off, placing my feet on the cold carpet. Another sharp bang and I watch a small rock fall from hitting the glass. _Someone's throwing rocks_. My nerves rise and I walk to my window, looking down at the sidewalk. My pupils blossom and my heart skips a beat, a shiny motorcycle parked under the street light. My eyes roam around the sidewalk, not a figure in sight. _I'm going crazy_.

Another sharp bang rings and I step back, feeling my heart sink to the pit of my stomach as I watch another pebble fall from the glass. Suddenly, I see a flash of ivory in the corner of my eye. I turn my head to the Oak Tree on the side of our house and my heart stops, the nerves under my skin exploding. _There he is_. Sitting on a branch in my oak tree, wearing a pair of black pants, a white cut off t-shirt and a black cut off vest, buttons covering both sides. I trail my eyes up to his face and my heart starts to race, the small smirk on his lips noticeable from the glow of the street light. I take in a small breath and he starts to move, tearing his eyes off mine as he shakily stands up on the branch. My heart falls into the pit of my chest and I place my hands on the glass, watching him. He slowly walks to the tip of the branch while both of his hands hold on to a branch over him, keeping him balanced.

"What are you doing?"

I whisper, watching as his eyes focus on the small rooftop below my window. He slowly lets go of the branch above him and my eyes grow wide, my fingers gripping the slippery glass. _He isn't_. Suddenly, he jumps. I grip the glass tight and push up, a cool breeze brushing past me as he lands on the roof, a loud thump to prove it. I turn my head towards my door and listen for the sound of footsteps, hoping that my parents didn't hear that.

"I don't think they heard me."

I hear his familiar voice, soft yet low. I turn my head back to the window and my nerves surface, exploding as my eyes land on his face. Although I can only see the outline of it and the burning orange tip at the end of the cigarette that's hanging from his lips, it still makes my lungs skip a breath. _Tegan_.

He places his hands on the glass and slowly pushes it up, the room starting to get colder by the second. I turn around and walk towards my bedroom door, using one hand to close it gently while the other pats on the wall, looking for my light switch. I feel the switch under my tips and flick it up, the room lighting up.

"Mind if I come in?"

I turn back to the window and my lips pull into a small smile. He's still standing outside with his hands on the window sill, his head down looking at the cigarette between his index and middle fingers.

"You just jumped from a tree and you're asking now if you can come in?"

He lets out a soft chuckle and brings the cigarette up to his lips, inhaling for a couple of seconds before he tosses it onto the roof, slowly climbing inside. I take in a small breath and watch him, the way the veins in his arms bulge as he grips the window frame. _Oh_. I tear my eyes off of him and look down at the floor, feeling that odd tingle shoot down my thighs again. _Shit_.

"Oh."

I lift my head and trail my eyes up, taking in his burgundy Doc's with black skin tight jeans tucked into them. His white cut up shirt with tiny brown stains splattered and smeared in the middle, covered by a black cut off vest with band pins on it. _I've missed those band pins_. I trail my eyes up more and everything in my body stops functioning. Along with the old bruises and cuts that Richard created, there's more. Fresh ones. One on his cheek, one on his eyebrow and two on his bottom lip, along with a small silver ball under his bottom lip. _A piercing?_

"What the fuck happened to you?"

I ask, walking over to him. His eyes grow a little wide and I stop in front of him, my eyes going from cut to cut. A small bruise has formed around the cut on his cheek, bright purple and red. _Did these just happen?_

"Uh, Sara?"

"Did Richard do this to you?"

I look up into his eyes and he's looking down at my body, his mouth a little open as his eyes move up and down. I take a small step back and feel a lump form in my throat. _What is he looking at?_ I look down and my eyes grow wide, my body covered in nothing but a small white tank top and black low cut underwear.

"I wasn't expecting anyone over."

I turn around and walk to my dresser, opening the second drawer and pulling out a pair of cut up jean shorts. I keep my head down and step into them, silently cursing in my head. _This is so fucking_ _embarrassing_. Suddenly, I hear the familiar beat of Joy Division start to play. I pull the zipper up and turn around, feeling my hair swish against my back as my eyes land on Tegan. His back is facing me, he's looking at the records I have on my wall. I lift my hand up and run my fingers through my hair, a couple of strands falling back over my face.

"So, what are you doing here?"

His shoulders tense up for a second and he lifts his hand up, tapping on my Blue Oyster Cult Record.

"You have good taste in music."

I let out a small sigh and make my way over to him, stopping at his side. His eyes move from Record to Record while mine move from cut to cut. I lift my hand and gently place it on his jaw, slowly turning him to face me. His eyes soften and my eyes take in his stained ivory skin. _I wish I could see his skin the way it was the night of the concert, dipped in blue._

"Who did this to you?"

I whisper, trailing my eyes to his. His pupils blossom for a small second and he takes in a short breath, a soft smile forming on his lips.

"Don't worry about it, okay? I've taken worse, I'm fine."

My stomach turns. The image of Tegan on the floor, _bruised and bloody_. He pulls away from my hold and takes a step back, lowering himself onto the edge of my bed. I turn to him and he places his elbows on his knees, hands laced together with his head hung low. I step over to my bed and sit down, my whole body facing him with one leg tucked under the other.

"You haven't been to school for a while, is everything okay?"

I ask, tilting my head to the side. A couple of strands fall in my face and he turns his head to the side, looking up at me with soft eyes.

"I had to take care of some family stuff back in Oregon. I left the day I took you home, just got back a couple minutes ago."

"Minutes ago?"

His lips pull into a small smile and he turns away, looking back down at the ground.

"I came here, straight from the highway."

"Here? As in my house?"

He turns his head back to me and lets out a soft chuckle, making my head spin.

"Here, as in _you_. Yes."

My skin starts to warm under his gaze and I look down at the ground, feeling my stomach flutter with nerves. _I'm the first place he came to, after driving home from Oregon_.

"Why?"

I look back into his eyes and notice that his aren't on mine anymore, they're moving. Roaming over each feature on my face, his eyes growing softer by the second.

"I don't know, to be honest. I just . . . I wanted to see you."

He lifts his left arm off of his knee and slowly brings it up to my face, his fingers moving the hair away from my face. I take in a small breath and look down at the small space between us, my cheeks burning. _He wanted to see me._ I slowly move my eyes back up and feel a lump form in my throat, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, making the small silver ball underneath pop out. _Oh_. I lift my hand up and gently press my palm against his jaw, my thumb hovering over the silver ball.

"This is new. When did you get it?"

He sits up straight and my hand falls down onto his lap, making my blush even more. He lets out a soft chuckle and leans back on one hand, the other resting next to mine on his thigh.

"I got it a few days ago. My Dad has a friend that works at a shop, so he hooked it up pretty nice."

My lips curl into a small smile as I look down at the small silver ball. It does look pretty good on him.

"Wait, you said your Dad's friend. Your Dad let you get a piercing?"

He tilts his head to the side and takes in a sharp breath, his lips curling into an amused smile.

"What?"

"You do know that I'm 18, right?"

My brows furrow and I look down, trying to remember when his age came up. _'My name's Tegan. I moved here from Oregon and I'm 18 years old. Is that enough to get you on the back of my bike?'_

"Shit, sorry. I guess I forgot."

I trail my eyes back up to his and he smiles, tilting his head to the side.

"It's when I got my first tattoo at the age of 16, that you should be asking that question."

He leans back further onto my bed and lays down, looking up at the ceiling. My eyes grow wide and I turn to him, pulling my leg up to my chest.

"You got a tattoo at 16? Where is it?"

He turns his head to the side and piece of gelled hair falls out of place, making my heart skip a beat. Suddenly, I feel his fingers brush over mine. I look down to my hand on his thigh and he grabs the hem of his shirt, lifting it up. My eyes travel over the ivory skin that's stained with black ink, right above the lining of his pants. _Barbed Wire?_

"Then I have this one."

He pulls his shirt back over the ink and moves his hand up, to the neck of his shirt. He slowly pulls it down and I move a little closer, resting my hand over the ink on his stomach.

"Stay Golden?"

I read the words out loud, trailing my eyes back to his. He pulls his shirt back up and brings his hand down to his stomach, resting it over mine. I take in a small breath and he grabs my index finger, gently tapping on my nail.

"It's something my grandpa used to tell me. I got it a couple of days after he died."

I swallow the saliva that's forming in my mouth and trail my eyes down to our hands, only connected by two fingers. I take in a deep breath and slowly move my hand closer to his, lifting it up slightly so my hand covers his. _He doesn't have to tell me, I already know_. His grandpa meant a lot to him. I can imagine it. Tegan sitting in a Chair, looking up at the ceiling with tears in his eyes while someone permanently marked him. I wonder what hurt more at that moment? The loss of someone that meant so much to him, or the feel of a needle carving into his skin.

Suddenly, I feel his thumb slowly rub against mine. My lips curl into a small smile and I move my eyes back to his, only to see that his are closed. _He's asleep?_ I gently tap on the back of his hand with my fingers and he lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

"No, I'm not asleep. It's just been a while since I've been on an actual mattress and it feels good."

A lump forms in my throat, my eyes softening as they take in the boy laying on my bed. _It's been a while since he's been on an actual mattress?_ What does that mean?

"You mean a comfortable one?"

I ask, letting out a soft chuckle. He takes in a deep breath and shakes his head, pouting his lips.

"No, an actual mattress. Right now, I'm sleeping on the floor at my Aunt Rita's house. Same thing when I lived in Oregon."

My heart falls into the pit of my stomach, my eyes roaming over the boy's face. _He's been sleeping on hard floors_. For how long? _I have no clue._ I tear my eyes away from his face and look at the small clock on my nightstand. It's 1 o'clock in the morning. This doesn't just feel good for him, he must be tired. Exhausted, even.

I look back over to him and my eyes soften once again, the cuts on his ivory skin making my heart drop. _He could use a good nights sleep_.

"Tegan."

He slowly opens his eyes and turns to me, the corners drooping with exhaustion. My lips curl into a weak smile and I slowly climb off the bed, my hand growing cold without his underneath it. I walk over to my bedroom door and twist the small lock on my doorknob, my other hand flicking off the light switch. The room goes dark and I turn around, slowly making my way over to my bed. My knees hit the edge and I reach down, grabbing my boombox and setting it on the floor, the tape already rewinding to play again. I climb in under the covers and sit up straight, looking down at the sleeping boy's figure. His feet are on the floor while his upper body rests on my bed. My heart skips a tiny beat. The thought of him waking up on a real bed, makes me reach out and tap his shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Tegan, get up."

He takes in a deep breath and slowly sits up, his head hanging low.

"Shit, sorry. I better get going."

He places his hands on the bed and starts to lift himself up, but I reach out and grab one of his fingers. He stops moving and slowly turns to me, his eyes barely open a crack. My heart stops beating. Under the sunlight, he's a tough guy who has a cigarette between his lips. But, under the moonlight, he's different. Still tough and strong, but also soft.

"No, you're gonna stay here tonight. It's too late and you can barely keep your eyes open."

He lifts a hand and runs it through his hair, turning to look at the ground. He slowly slides off the bed and disappears, a small thump echoing through the room. I pull the covers off of me and get up, crawling to the edge of my bed. I look down and my eyes land on a heartbreaking sight. He's laying on his stomach, both of his arms under his head to take place as a pillow. _No_.

"You're not sleeping on the floor, Tegan. Come on."

"I'm fine. Your floor is actually pretty comfortable compared to my Aunt Rita's."

He lets out a lazy chuckle and I close my eyes, picturing Tegan laying on a cold floor. Nothing but a small blanket over him to keep him warm.

"Tegan, get on the bed. Please?"

My voice cracks on the last word and I open my eyes, looking down at him. He lifts his head and turns around, looking at me with fully open eyes. He takes in a small breath and sits up, placing both of his hands on the bed as he stands. I take in a shaky breath and slowly move back to my side, pulling the covers over me as he climbs onto my bed. He stays on top of the blanket and lays his head down on the other pillow, one hand on his stomach; the other spread out across my pillow. He turns his head to me and in the dark, the white around his eyes shine bright.

"Come here."

His voice is low and soft. It's _inviting_. I take in a small breath and gently lower my body down, the heat from his body instantly warming me. I rest my head on his arm and turn on my side, facing him. His arm wraps around me and his fingers slowly dance across the skin of my shoulder, making my insides melt.

"Are you warm?"

I whisper, looking up into his eyes. He takes in a deep breath and his lips curl into a weak smile, his eyes closing as if he's in paradise.

"You have no idea."

I let out a soft chuckle and he turns to face the ceiling, his fingers softly tapping away on my skin. I let out a small sigh and move my head closer to him, my eyes instantly closing at the heat he sheds. _I've never been this warm before._

"Goodnight, Sara."

 _I've never felt this safe before_.

"Goodnight, Tegan."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Enjoy & Review!_**

Chapter 4: Love My Way

Tegan POV:

I kick the stand out and lean my bike to the side, putting my foot on the ground as I look up at the old shop. The gates are rusted from surviving years of rain and the old blue paint is chipping off the walls. _In a way, it reminds me of home._

I bring my leg over and stand up straight, looking at the white letters painted at the top of the building. ' _Bob's Auto Shop_.' My lips pull into a small smile, the font is the same at my Dad's shop. _This place definitely reminds me of home._ I take in a small breath and slowly make my way down the drive-way, the sound of an old radio playing Led Zeppelin echoing through the open air. As I get closer, the smell of oil and the sight of old cars and bikes make my fingers twitch. It's been a while since I've worked on something besides my own bike. _I miss it._

I make my way inside the opened gate and look around, old rusted cars sitting around with webs on the flat tires. I reach up into my vest pocket and pull out a cigarette, putting it between my lips. I dig inside the back pocket of my pants and pull out my lighter, flipping it open to a beautiful flame.

"You got a death wish, boy?"

I hear an old voice. I lift my head up and a man's standing there, his eyes on me as he wipes his hands on an old dirty blue cloth. I take in a small breath and close the lid to my lighter, taking the cigarette out of my mouth.

"It's a habit, sorry."

The man nods and puts the cloth into his back pocket, making his way towards me. His white hair bounces with every step he takes and the sweat on his face makes the oil shine bright. He's old, very old. The wrinkles on his face prove it.

"Something I can help you with?"

He says, stopping right in front of me. I bring my hand up and place the cigarette behind my ear, keeping my lighter in my hand. _Another nervous habit._

"Uh, yeah. I was wondering if you have any spots open?"

"You a mechanic, kid?"

He asks, tilting his head to the side with a raised white eyebrow. _Shit_.

"Certified, no. But, I worked in my Dad's shop up in Oregon. I know cars and bikes like the back of my hand."

He takes in a short breath and takes a step back, his eyes roaming up and down my body. I swallow the saliva that's forming in my throat and slowly twirl my lighter around in my hand.

"How old are you, boy?"

"18."

He lets out a small sigh and looks down, reaching into his back pocket. He pulls out the dirty blue cloth and wipes the sides of his face, more oil smudging across his tanned skin. I let out a small sigh and he looks up, tossing the cloth over his shoulder.

"You're a little young to be working a full-time job, kid. Don't you plan on going to school or something?"

I take my bottom lip between my teeth and look down, High-school looking like a distant memory to me. I know I told my Mom that while I was here, I would finish High-school. If I did, I would be the first one in our family to graduate. But, I have other things to worry about now.

When I left Oregon, I thought that things were going to change. I thought that my _Dad_ was going to change. _He told me he would_. He hadn't laid a hand on me in a few months, he hadn't laid a hand on my mom either. He would come home from work and grab a can of Pepsi instead of his usual Jack Daniels bottle. It was like this, _for a while_. That's why I left. That's the only reason why I left, because I thought that he had changed. _I was wrong._ I came home with a big smile on my face that day, the day I took Sara home. I remember driving home, telling myself that nothing could ruin this day for me. _Again, I was wrong._ Once I stepped through the front door of my Aunt Rita's house, she ran to me and told me that my old neighbor from Oregon called. My Mom was passed out on his front lawn, her face bruised and bloody. My Dad was nowhere to be found.

"With all due respect, sir. Fuck school. I have other things to worry about. I need this job. I _need_ the money."

I look up and the man takes in a deep breath, lifting his fingers up to scratch is sweaty scalp.

"You in some sort of trouble, son? Cause, I don't want any of that around here. This is my shop, I ain't losing it over some kid who's pulling a wool over my eyes."

"No, sir. I'm not bringing trouble, I just need the money."

I twirl the cigarette between my two fingers and bring it up to my lips, silently asking him if I can. His eyebrows shoot up and he nods, bringing one hand to the back of his neck. I let out a small sigh and flip open the lid of my lighter, another beautiful flame rising. I lean forward and slowly inhale, the small burn in my throat instantly calming me.

"What's your name, son?"

"Tegan."

He rubs over the sweat on the back of his neck and drops his hand down, cocking his head to the side.

"Follow me."

He turns around and slowly walks inside of the garage, the nerves in the pit of my stomach starting to fade away. With the cigarette tucked in at the corner of my lips, I exhale and follow behind him; my eyes roaming over the tools laying around.

"You know your way around a garage?"

He asks, walking up to a counter with tools scattered everywhere. Some rusty, some oily.

"It's gonna take me some time to know my way around _this_ one, but yeah. I know my way around."

He sets a tool down and turns around, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I take a step back and he takes in a deep breath, looking off to the side with flaring nostrils.

"I ain't mad, don't worry. This place could use a little organizing."

"A little?"

He trails his eyes back to mine and I look down, feeling my stomach turn. _Shut up!_

"Alright, smart ass. Since you got such a big problem with tools lyin' everywhere, you can organize it. While you're at it, take inventory too."

My eyes grow wide and I look up at him, my mouth opening in shock. _You have a big fucking mouth, Tegan._ His lips pulls into a small smirk and he turns around, opening up a drawer under the counter. He pulls something out and closes the drawer, turning back around. A pen in one hand, a notepad in the other. _Shit_.

"You start today. Get to work, son."

I take in a small breath and reach out, grabbing the pen and notepad. His crooked teeth show as his smile widens and he turns around, walking away towards the small office in the back. He disappears behind the cement wall and I take a step up to the counter, setting the notepad down.

"I'm not gonna finish this all by today!"

I shout, trying to fight the volume of the static radio. I set the pen down on top of the counter and shrug my vest off, setting it on top of the pile of rusty tools.

"Guess you're just gonna have to come back tomorrow, kid!"

I hear his voice. I turn my head towards the hidden office and my lips pull into a small smile. _I have a job, Mom._ I have a job.

* * *

"Alright, kid. Time to close up the shop."

I bring the pen up and place it behind my ear, looking down at the notepad. My eyes skim over my messy writing and I look back at the counter, the small piles of tools sitting neatly on top.

"I did the counter and the wall. Tomorrow I'll start on the drawers and floor."

I place the notepad on top of the clean counter and grab my vest, tossing it over my shoulder as I turn around. Bob's standing behind me, looking at the wall and counter with impressed eyes.

"Not bad, kid."

My lips pull into a small smirk and he looks down, letting out a rough chuckle. I reach into the pocket of my vest and pull out a fresh cigarette and my lighter. I make my way to the open garage door and the night air blows through my hair, a couple of strands falling into my face. I place the cigarette between my lips and turn around, looking at Bob as he presses a red button that's hanging off a black wire from the wall. Suddenly, the garage door starts to move, slowly sliding down. Bob walks out of the garage and the door hits the ground, a loud bang to prove it.

"So, what time do I come by tomorrow?"

I ask, flipping open the lid to my lighter.

"Shop opens up at 10. That's the time you be here, everyday. Except weekends. Weekends are when I take my lovely Lucile dancing."

He says, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. I let out a soft chuckle and lean into the flame, enjoying the small burn as I inhale.

"Lovely Lucille, eh? Your wife?"

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a brown leather wallet, opening it up. He holds it out for me and I lean down, looking at the picture. It's in black and white, a woman standing there in a white lace wedding dress, a man with dark brown hair standing right behind her.

"Married 45 years. Still love her the same as the day I met her."

The woman in the picture is beautiful. _Lucille_. She has dark brown hair and thin eyebrows, a pair of jet black pupils underneath. My lips pull into a small smile and I pull the cigarette away from my lips, blowing the smoke out into the open air.

"She's beautiful."

"What about you, son? No lady of your own?"

A lump forms in the middle of my throat and I bring the cigarette back to my lips, inhaling fast. _Son._ If only he knew. Truth is, I've already been called _son_ many times . . . I don't even care to correct them anymore. Plus, why should I? I look like a boy.

"I'm working on it, Bob. Gonna go see her in a bit."

His lips curl into a small smile and he looks down, eyeing his wallet. He opens up the small flap and the green paper makes my heart skip a beat. He pulls out a couple of bills and rolls them up loosely, holding them out to me.

"Here, it's your days pay. Go buy her something pretty"

I look at the bills rolled up between his fingers and reach out, taking them into my hand. I look down at them and turn the roll around, the number twenty on both bills. My heart stops.

"Alright, son. I'll see you tomorrow, 10 sharp."

My eyes grow wide and I look up at him, _40 dollars._ He lets out a soft chuckle and turns around, walking back towards the shop. I take in a deep breath and turn around, slowly making my way to the rusty gates. _He gave me 40 dollars._ I shove the money deep into my front pants pocket and grab my vest from my shoulder, putting each arm through.

 _'Go buy her something pretty.'_

 _Sara,_ my heart skips a beat at the thought of her. The way her long brown hair falls into her face every single time she pushes it back with her tiny fingers. The way she bites her lip when she's nervous, something I have seen her do a lot. And, the way she looks down when I look at her. She's shy. But, most of all. Her eyes. _God, those eyes._ I've never seen anything like them. They're just dark brown, but they're beautiful. They're dark and rich, full of things that I'm not even able to explain. The only thing I can say about them, though. Is that, when I look at them . . . I feel at home.

 _'Go buy her something pretty.'_

My lips pull into a small smile. I want to buy her something pretty. _I want to see her smile_ , as cliche as that sounds.I stop in front of my bike and swing my leg over, putting the key in and kicking the pedal to life. The engine roars to life and I put my hands on the handles, looking up at Bob's Shop.

 _'Go buy her something pretty.'_

Sara POV:

I take in a small breath and turn to my side, facing my boombox. I reach out and press the rewind button, hearing the tape spin. _This song_. I press play and listen to the lyrics, his voice making my eyes close.

 _I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand_

 _Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?_

 _New sensations bear the innocence, leave them for another day_

 _I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away_

Whenever I hear this song, _I think of him_. I think of Tegan. My lips pull into a small smile and I lift my head up from my pillow, reaching under it with tingling fingers. I grab the small piece of paper and slowly pull it out, resting my head back on it as I bring the paper close to my eyes.

 _I didn't want to wake you up, but I have some things that I need to do today. I'll see you tonight, I promise._

 _-T_

 _Ps. It was nice waking up next to you._

I let out a small sigh and place the paper down on my chest, my hand warming the skin over my heart as I hold it close. When I woke up this morning, I was expecting to see a slightly bruised face with honey colored eyes. _I didn't._ But, there was _this_. A note. My lips pull into a small smile, Ian Curtis' voice still flowing through my ears as I look up at the ceiling.

"Tegan."

I close my eyes and his face burns behind my eyelids. The blue and purple patches on his pale skin. The small tiny silver ball under his bottom lip. The sharp lining of his jaw, strong enough to take a hit. I take in a small breath, feeling my stomach turn. _I wonder how many times his jaw has been hit?_ How many times it's collided with the cold hard ground.

I open my eyes and swallow the lump that's forming in the middle of my throat. Tegan being hurt, isn't something I want to think about. But, I can't seem to push it away. Him laying on the ground, clutching his stomach while blood seeps from fresh cuts on his face. His tears mixing with the blood while he begs the person standing over him to stop. Him laying there, motionless. His chest barely moving up and down while his lungs slowly give out.

"What's wrong?"

I jump, hearing the familiar voice so close. My heart starts to race as I turn to the open window, my pupils blossoming as they land on _him_. His legs are covered in a pair of tight black pants with his black Doc's. His chest covered in just a white cut up band t-shirt, The Smiths. _No vest,_ a white bag hanging in his hands. I trail my eyes up and my heart skips a beat, taking in his milky skin with fading bruises and cuts. But, something's different. Instead of his hair pushed back with gel, it's parted to the side with the sides shaved. No gel. _Oh_.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Is everything okay?"

"Your hair, it's different."

He takes in a deep breath and lifts his hand, running his fingers through his hair.

"I didn't think you would notice. I cut it a couple hours ago."

I move my eyes over his black locks, shining under the ceiling fan. His hair looks soft and thick, with a small wave to it. Its different from his usual look, I like it. He drops his hand and I look down at the bag in his hands, tilting my head to the side to read the print on it.

"Yuri's Record Store?"

I trail my eyes back up to his and his lips pull into a small smile as he slowly makes his way to my bed. He sits down on the edge and turns, keeping one foot on the floor as he places the bag in front of me.

"You've never been to Yuri's, have you?"

I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my arms on them, my hair falling into my face as I shake my head.

"No, never heard of it."

He takes in a small breath and looks down at the bag, softly shaking his head. I take my bottom lip between my teeth, hiding back the smile that wants to show. _He's cute._ He looks back up at me and his lips pull into a small smile, his eyes scanning over the skin of my face.

"Well, I'll have to take you someday. Until then, I got you a little surprise from there."

My eyes grow wide and I look down at the bag, gray squares outlined behind the thin plastic material. _A surprise, for me?_ I lift one hand and push the hair away from my face, looking back at him. The smile on his face has grown, his cheeks puffing up as the result.

"This is for me?"

"Mhm. Open it."

I lay my legs back down on the bed and cross them, looking back at the bag. I reach out and grab it, setting it down on my lap. The nerves in my stomach start to stir as I gently undo the loose knot, my lips pulling into a smile as they land on tapes.

"I noticed that you have a brand new boombox, with only a few tapes. So, I went and got you some."

My skin grows warm as I lift the bag up and turn it over, all the cassette tapes falling into my lap. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and grab two of them, looking at the print.

"Love My Way - The Psychedelic Furs?"

I turn the tape around and read the back silently, 'The Ghost In You - The Psychedelic Furs'. I've never heard of this band.

"Please tell me you've heard of them?"

I tilt my head to the side and slowly shake my head, eyeing the small print.

"I've never heard of them."

I look back at him and he's staring at me, a look of disappointment sketched into his features. I let out a soft chuckle and turn to my boombox, pressing the small eject button. My Joy Division tape pops out and I toss it into the pile, placing the new one in. I close the cover and press play, the nerves in my stomach surfacing with excitement. For some reason, I wanna know what this sounds like. I wanna know what songs flow through his ears and leave him in a daze.

 _There's an army on the dance floor_

 _It's a fashion with a gun, my love_

 _In a room without a door_

 _A kiss is not enough in_

 _Love my way, it's a new road_

 _I follow where my mind goes_

I turn to Tegan and take in a small breath, the sight in front of me making my heart skip a beat. His head is tilted back, showing off the veins in his neck as his lips move along with the words; his eyes closed. He's _dazed._ I tilt my head to the side and skim over the features on his face, watching his jaw clench as the beat flows without words. _I could stare at this every minute of everyday._

My eyes grow wide and I look down at the tapes in my lap, feeling my heart race at that thought. _I've never thought that way about anyone._ Then again, I don't really think that I've actually liked anyone. I've kissed boys, held their hands. But, none of them have made me feel like this before. None of them had me thinking about them after they left my sight. None of them had my heart skipping beats at the very sight of them. None of them have had me like this. None of them have left me with the feeling of wanting them more. _It's scary._

"So, guess what!"

I lift my head and look at him, the thoughts instantly leaving my mind as his eyes gaze into mine. The smile on his face is making my skin crawl, as if ants are dancing in each pore. I let out a soft chuckle and take my bottom lip between my teeth, feeling my stomach turn.

"What?"

"I got a job today."

He says, lifting his hand to run his fingers through his hair. _Oh_. My lips pull into a small smile as his grows, the tiny silver ball under his bottom lip popping out. He looks so proud of himself. _It's the cutest thing I've ever seen._

"Someone's happy."

He slowly lays back and leans on his elbows, turning to face me.

"Fuck yeah, I'm happy. As soon as I save up enough money, I'm going back to Oregon to get my mom. The sooner I bring her out here, the better."

I tilt my head to the side and he tears his eyes away from mine, look down at the cassettes in my lap.

"Your Mom didn't come with you?"

His eyes slowly close, the look of regret sketching his features. _I don't think he meant to tell me that._ I take in a small breath and gently push the cassettes off my lap, scooting closer to him. He opens his eyes and my lips pull into a weak smile, the back of his head hovering over my thighs.

"Lay down."

He turns his head to the side and looks at my thighs, his head slowly lowering down. He rests his head on my lap and looks up at me, my eyes drooping at the sight. His eyes are a little red, his pupils fully bloomed. I lift my hand and gently place it on his forehead, my fingers slowly running through his black locks. _I was right, his hair is soft._

"I thought things were better, I thought it was okay to leave her up there."

He says, his jaw clenching. I trail my eyes over the features of his face, noticing how tense they are. _This isn't something small to him._ He blinks and a small tear leaves the corner of his right eye, falling onto my thigh. It makes my heart stop.

"You don't have to tell me. Not now, at least."

He takes in a shaky breath and slowly turns on his side, burying his face into my thighs as his arms wrap around my waist. A chill runs down my spine as butterflies start to blossom in my stomach, _he's holding me._ My lips pull into a soft smile as my fingers slowly dance around his scalp, trying their best to calm him.

"I won't be able to see you for a whole week."

He mumbles against my skin, the vibration of his voice sending a tingle between my thighs. I push my legs together and take in a small breath, licking my lips.

"Why?"

He lifts his head up and turns to me, his eyes almost bloodshot.

"Two reasons. One, I'm gonna be working at the shop everyday from 10 to 5. Two, Jeremy's dad just got a fucked up bike and he wants me to fix it up for him. He said that if I finish it by the end of the week, he'll pay me more."

His fingers softly tap against the small of my back and I let out a soft chuckle, a piece of hair falling into my face.

"What am I gonna do for a whole week without you? I don't know anyone else who is willing to jump from a tree just to see me. They all use the front door."

He lets out a rough chuckle and rolls his eyes, softly shaking his head.

"Are you free this Saturday, _Punk_?"

My insides turn, the word sending shivers down my body. _Punk_. My lips pull into a small smile, I wouldn't mind him calling me that.

"Why?"

"Yes or no?"

His lips pull into a small smirk, making my thighs tremble.

"Yeah, I'm free."

"Good, be ready by 8."

He says, pulling away from me. He uses his hands to push himself up and he stands, looking down at me. My mouth hangs open, the sudden request taking me by surprise. He slowly walks backwards, making my lips pull into a small smile.

"Huh?"

"Be ready by 8."

He says, stopping in front of the window. Without turning, he slowly climbs out of the window. I let out a soft chuckle once both feet are planted on my roof, his hangs gripping the ledge as his eyes gaze into mine.

"Night, Sara."

He lifts his hand and sends me a wink, his fingers running though his hair right before he disappears into the night. His footsteps softly echo through my ears and I trail my eyes down to the pile of cassettes.

"Night, Tegan."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Enjoy & Review!**_

Chapter 5: Forbidden Lover

Sara POV:

I lift up the red cup and bring it to my lips, my eyes watching the yellow bitter liquid as my tongue tastes it. _This is my third beer, I still feel nothing_. I pull the cup away and look around, the sound of music echoing in my ear as people dance around in the large living room. Some people matching the beat, some too drunk to properly function.

 _Up and down, turn me around_

 _come on baby, don't say maybe_

 _twist and turning, the spotlights burning_

 _take a chance would you like me to dance?_

 _You got me spinnin, whoah.. oh.. ho_

 _you got me spinnin, around and round_

 _take her up and bring her down_

 _then I 'll spin my baby around and round_

I take in a small breath and look at the people leaning against the walls. Most of them are boys, and they're looking at the crowd of girls that are dancing in the middle of the room. I bring the cup back to my lips and slowly scan each boy. A few of them are wearing white slacks with pastel blue shirts. _The rich kids_. I take a small sip of my drink and keep the cup at my lips, looking at the boy in the middle of them. He's the only one wearing a white blazer over his tucked in shirt, his light blonde hair slightly feathered back. He turns his head towards me and his eyes follow, landing on mine. I tip my drink back and take a large gulp, watching him. _The way he's dressed. The way he's leaning against the wall._

"Sara, who are you looking at?"

I hear a familiar voice. I turn my head to the side and my eyes land on a very sweaty Resa, a paper in her hand to cool herself down.

"The _Rich_ boys. Why did you even invite them? We don't talk to them."

She reaches out for my cup and I hand it to her, watching her take a large gulp.

"Because, they're Richard's friends. Plus, they come to every party. They've got the best bud."

She says, handing my drink back to me. I look down at the rim, her bright red lipstick clumped all over it.

"Shit, he's looking at you."

I lift my head up and trail my eyes back to the boy leaning against the wall, noticing how his head is tilted to the side as his eyes burn over my skin. This feeling is familiar, but it's not strong as the first time I've felt it. At the Joy Division Concert, _with Tegan._

I trail my eyes down to the floor, watching people's shoes stomp on it as his face slowly comes to mind. His ivory colored skin, slightly covered in purple and blue. His button nose, right above his odd shaped lips with a silver ball under them. _Tegan._ I bring the cup back up to my lips and hold it there, trying to hide the smile that's forming at the thought of him.

"Why are you smiling?"

 _Fail_

"You think he's cute, don't you? I wouldn't mind you dating a _Rich_. I mean, we are technically rich too, but we don't dress like it."

I pull the cup away from my lip and turn to Resa, my eyebrows raised with annoyance. She takes in a small breath and shrugs, fanning herself again. I look back down at the ground and feel the guilt start to rise. Resa and I? We don't keep secrets from each other. _None_. She knows everything about me, I know everything about her. But, him. _Tegan_. I have to keep him from her. She can never know.

"Bitchin' party, Resa."

I hear an unfamiliar voice. I lift my head and turn to Resa, spotting a familiar face standing in front of her. _The Rich Boy_. I trail my eyes to Resa and she's looking up at him with glossy eyes, her mouth parted as she lets out shaky breaths. _Bitchin'?_

"Thanks, Tony. Come here with anyone tonight?"

He takes in a small breath and turns to me, his eyes piercing into mine as he slowly shakes his head.

"No, just the guys. They wanna ask you something, Resa."

Resa stops fanning herself and looks at me, one eyebrow arched higher than a hook. Her lips pull into a small smirk and she takes a step towards Tony, placing her hand on his chest as she looks at him.

"If you wanted to be alone with her, all you had to do was ask."

She says, low. I take in a small breath and look down at the ground, the music drowning out the sound of her heels clicking away. _Please, don't talk to me._

"Do you find the ground that interesting?"

I hear his voice. I keep my head low and trail my eyes to him, his eyes setting my skin on fire with discomfort.

"Maybe."

He lets out a soft chuckle and takes a step closer to me, my eyes trailing down to his shoes. _White Penny Loafers._ Rich. I let out a small scoff and look up, one eyebrow raised in annoyance.

"More interesting than me? Cause, I saw you staring at me a little while ago."

I tilt my head to the side, feeling my stomach turn. _He thinks I want him._ I take in a deep breath and scoff, he's wrong. Very wrong.

Tegan POV:

I toss my towel onto the bathroom counter and look up, my pale skin shining in the mirror under the lights. The bruises on my face are now a dull yellow, the cuts fading into small pink scars. I take in a small breath and lift my hands, brushing my hair back with my fingertips. A couple of strands fall loose and I take a step back, looking down at my body.

My white t-shirt hangs from my body, the sleeves cut off showing the small muscles in my arms. My black jeans cling to my legs, making my feet look big with my burgundy Doc's on them. For as long as I can remember, this has been me. _Tegan, the boy._

Growing up, I didn't correct people when they called me ' _son_ ' or ' _boy_ '. In all honesty, neither did my parents. My Dad always had this smile on his face when people called me those words, my Mom looking down at me with glossy eyes. Like they were both proud of who I was, _of who they knew I would become._ That look hasn't changed, and I've realized that it never will.

I reach for the hem of my t-shirt and slowly pull it up, looking at the beige wrap in the mirror. I trail my eyes from stain to stain, feeling a small chill run down my spine. _No matter how many times I wash it, those blood stains will never come off._ I close my eyes and her familiar face slowly appears behind my eyelids. Her curly short red hair. The patch of freckles on her nose. Her peircing green eyes. The black hoop on the side of her nose.

"Denise."

I open my eyes and look up, feeling them sting as they trail over each blood stain. _Anna Denise Clair_. I take in a small breath and let go of my shirt, letting it fall back into place. _I don't want to think about her. Not right now._

"Tegan?"

I hear a familiar voice. I turn and step in front of the bathroom door, pushing it open with a twisted knob. Jeremy's leaning against the door frame, his lime green hair standing up in every direction while his lips pull into a small smirk.

"What were you doing in there, Missy?"

I lift one eyebrow in fake annoyance and he lets out a soft chuckle, pushing his body off the door frame. _He knows I hate when he calls me that. Missy_. I lift one hand and switch the bathroom light off, following Jeremy to his bed.

"What are you gonna do with all that money, Tee? Put it away for your mom?"

He says, sitting down on the edge of his bed. I take in a small breath and turn to his desk, my wallet right in the middle. _$250 dollars are in there._ The image of my mom's bruised face comes to mind and I look down at the ground, closing my eyes for a quick second.

"Shit, sorry."

I slowly shake my head and open my eyes, looking down at him. My lips pull into a weak smile and he smiles, his pink gums showing. I let out a soft chuckle and climb onto his bed, laying my head on his pillow. He scoots close to me and rests his head near mine, green strands coming into view over my face.

"There's a party going down tonight. Wanna go?"

I turn my head to the side and look at him, his eyes looking at the faded glow in the dark stars on his popcorn ceiling. After last week, dealing with my mom. This week, work and Jeremy's Dad's bike? A party sounds like a _great_ idea.

"Yeah, who's party?"

"Some posh girl. I think her name is Reese?"

I take in a deep breath with annoyance and he turns to me, one eyebrow high with curiosity.

"What?"

"A posh girl? C'mon, man. They throw dumb fucking parties, not to mention that they don't like people like _us_."

He lets out a small sigh and turns back to the ceiling, a look of disappointment in his features. _He actually wants to go to a_ _ **posh**_ _party._

"Why do you wanna go to _this_ party, huh?"

I ask, gently nudging his shoulder with mine. He brings his hand up to his mouth and starts to bite at the skin around his thumbnail, something he's always done when he's nervous.

"You're gonna laugh."

He turns to me, his pupils growing with fear. I raise my eyebrows and look at him, scanning all the features on his face. I've known this boy for 10 years. Even when he left Oregon to live here, we kept in touch. He's my _best friend_ , why would he ever think that I would laugh at something he's embarrassed by? Unless it's his porn stash.

"Valarie, she's going to be there."

"Valarie? Who's Valarie?"

He turns back to the ceiling and takes his bottom lip between his teeth, gently chewing on it. _I know the fear he's feeling_. Telling your best friend about someone for some reason, is always scary. You have to worry about them judging the person you think is perfect and beautiful. Or you fear that your best friend has heard something about them, shattering your perfect vision. I know, because I have the same fear. I'm scared to tell him about Sara.

"You know what? You don't even have to tell me. Get your fuckin' ass ready, let's go."

I sit up and climb off his bed, walking to his desk. I grab my wallet and slide it into my back pocket, picking up my new black denim vest. Suddenly, it hits me. _She's a posh._ I close my eyes for a quick second, a familiar face coming into my mind. _Sara's a posh, too._ I take in a small breath and slowly put my vest on, the realization sinking in. We both want girls that, in society's eyes, _are too good for us_.

I push my collar up and turn around, looking down at Jeremy. He's sitting up on his bed, his arms hanging around his knees while his Docs leave dirt marks on his sheets.

"What?"

I take in a small breath and reach into my vest pocket, pulling out my tin box and lighter. I open the box up and pull out a cigarette, stuffing the box back into my vest pocket. Once the cigarette touches my lips, I pop the lighter open and dip it into the flame.

"I said, ' _get your fuckin' ass up_ '. If you wanna go and be some romantic son of a bitch, i'm all for it. But, do me a favor? Change your fucking shirt while I fix my hair? It smells like shit."

* * *

I stand behind Jeremy as he knocks on the red door, my stomach turning at the sound of the music seeping from the open windows. I take in a small breath and lean forward, pounding my fist against the expensive red paint before reaching for the doorknob. I twist it and the door opens, the music becoming louder as the smell of bud and alcohol fill my nostrils.

"No one could hear your beautiful knock, Jerm."

My lips pull into a small smirk and he raises his hand, giving me the finger. I let out a soft chuckle and place a hand on his back, pushing him inside. I follow behind him and close the door, looking at the staircase in front of me. It's full of people, most of the boys leaning against the girls while their tongues tie knots. I turn my head to the side and look into the living room, a cloud of smoke passing me by as my eyes skim around for another vest with patches. I would feel okay if there were more of _us_ here.

"We're the only ones, Tee. I already looked."

I hear Jeremy's voice. I take in a deep breath and slowly nod my head, feeling a hand on my back. I turn my head and there's a girl standing there, wobbling from side to side. Her red lipstick is smeared and her shirt is hanging too low off her shoulders. _She's drunk._

"Are you okay?"

Her lips pull into a small smile and she turns around fast, her legs shaking to find balance on her thin heels. I keep my eyes on her as she walks into the dining room, making her way through the crowd of dancing people and disappearing.

"There she is."

I hear Jeremy's voice. I turn back to the living room and look through the crowd of girls, most of them dancing with a guy.

"Which one is she?"

He lifts his hand and points towards a grand piano in the corner of the room, a girl sitting on top of it with a red cup in her hand.

"The one sitting on top of the piano?"

Through the corner of my eye, I see him nod. _That's her._ My eyes trail up and down her body. She's wearing a red crop top, the sleeves pushed down to her shoulders. A pair of denim high waist jeans. Dull red heels and a black leather jacket, her jet black hair up in a frizzy ponytail while her messy bangs cover her forehead. _She's pretty_ , there's no doubt about it. I take a step closer to him and nudge his arm, his eyes trailing to mine.

"Well, go on. We didn't come for you to stare. "

"What about you?"

I take in a deep breath and turn around, looking at the crowd in the dining room.

"I'm gonna look around for a bit. See what these _posh_ parties have to offer."

My lips pull into a small smirk and he smiles, quickly nodding is head. I pat his arm and he walks into the crowd of people, his lime green hair standing out in the crowd. I let out a soft chuckle and shake my head, turning around to the dining room. The crowd starts to die down as the song fades into another one and I slowly make my way through them, feeling unfamiliar hands on my body. This is something I'm used to, though. Venues and Warehouse gigs are worse.

I stop in front of an open doorway and peak my head inside, people leaning against the kitchen counters while buckets of beer and a keg sit on top of an island. My lips pull into a small smile and I walk to the buckets, looking at the bottles. I'm not really a big drinker, but one bottle does catch my eye. It's dark brown, with a light brown top. Brass Monkey. I reach in and pull the bottle out, my hand already growing numb from the ice.

"Can you get me one?"

I hear a squeaky voice. I turn my head to the side and there's a girl there, looking up at me with big eyes. I turn back to the bucket and scan the drinks, no more brown bottles with brown caps. I let out a small sigh and turn to her, handing her the bottle in my hand. Her lips pull into a small smile and she grabs it, her fingers brushing mine. I take in a small breath and shove both of my hands in my pockets, looking up and down her body. A black tube top covers her chest while a pair of black skinny high waste pants cover the rest.

"I'm Tiffany."

She says, popping the cap off and taking a small sip. I look back up at her face and her eyes are scanning my body, making my insides turn. _Why do I feel uncomfortable with her checking me out?_

"Uh, Tegan."

She slowly nods her head and lowers the bottle to her chest, tilting her head to the side while she looks at me.

"You're the guy that got into a fight with Resa's boyfriend."

I take in a small breath and she leans against the island counter, bringing the beer bottle up to her lips. _The guy who asked about my bike._ I take my bottom lip between my teeth and lift my hand up, placing it on the back of my neck.

"Yeah, that's me."

"You have a death wish?"

I tilt my head to the side and eye her, watching her lips pull into a small smirk. _Death Wish?_

"You _are_ at his girlfriend's party. So, you either have a death wish . . . or you're just stupid."

She takes another sip of her drink and I turn my head to the side, looking at the doorway. I'm at his girlfriend's party. That means he's here. _Shit_. I turn back to Tiffany and reach for the bottle in her hand, bringing it to my lips. I toss the bottle up and the sweet liquid runs down my throat, making my nerves instantly ease. _I gotta tell Jeremy._

"I'm guessing you're just stupid."

I close my eyes for a quick second as I swallow the last of the liquid, feeling my stomach begin to warm up as I set the bottle down on the counter. I bring my hand up and wipe the corners of my mouth, my other hand reaching into my vest pocket for my tin box and lighter.

"Both."

I tell her, opening the box and pulling out a cigarette. I put it between my lips and turn to the doorway, feeling her eyes scanning my body as I walk to it. I cross the threshold and slowly make my way through the small crowd, stopping right below the staircase. _Jeremy_.

I look into the living room and trail my eyes to the piano, my eyes landing on a familiar face with lime green hair. He's sitting right next to her on the piano, his arm out to show her his tattoos. My lips pull into a small smile and I bring my lighter up to my lips, flicking it open to a beautiful flame. I inhale and close the lid, tossing my lighter back into my vest pocket as I slowly move through the crowd, passing through easily.

"Richard, get me a beer!"

I stop in my tracks, the familiar name sounding so much louder than the music coming from the speakers. I turn my head to the side and scan the people around me, my stomach turning. _This is his girlfriend's house_. These are _his_ people. _If something goes down, I'm screwed._ I stop in the middle of the dance floor and turn around, looking at the people leaning against the wall. All of them are just standing there, bobbing their heads to the music while they pass around a joint. Except for one guy.

He's got his back facing the crowd, one hand leaning against the wall while the other hand rests in his pocket. _He's picking up a girl._ My lips pull into a small smile and I let out a soft chuckle, remembering all times that I've done that to random girls at gigs. _They like being looked down on, something i'll never understand._

The boy takes a small step to the side and looks over his shoulder, winking at someone across the room. I shake my head and look down at the girl under his arm, my heart stopping as they gaze upon pale skin. Her long brown straight hair. Those heart shaped lips. Those beautiful rich brown eyes. _Sara_.

She brings a large red cup up to her lips and holds it there, looking up at the guy above her. My skin starts to burn as the boy turns back to her and reaches down, grabbing the cup from her hands. She lets him take it and turns her head to the side, her eyes roaming over the people who pass her by. The boy brings the cup up to his lips and tosses it back, throwing the empty cup over his shoulder as he takes a step closer to her. My fingers curl into a ball and I feel my blood start to boil, _he's too close to her._

He lifts one hand and brings it up to her chin, forcing her to look up at him. My heart drops into the pit of my stomach and he leans down, getting closer. My fists start to shake as my jaw clenches, making my teeth grind together. I feel a hand graze my fingers and I push the person in front of me, feeling every nerve surface as I rush my way out of the crowd. _Not her._

I stop behind the boy and grab his shoulder, pulling him back with all my strength. He turns with a confused face and I bring my fist up, shooting it straight to his face. I hear someone yell at me to stop, but I can't stop. _Not her. I want her._

The boy stumbles back and I grab the collar of his shirt with both of my hands, pushing him against the wall. He puts his hands on my face and pushes me back, his nails digging into fading bruises. I pull his collar forward and slam him back up against the wall, feeling his fist collide with my cheek. I stumble back and the room starts to spin, my body falling onto the cold hard ground. _Shit_.

"Tegan!"

I hear a familiar voice. I blink and my vision slowly sharpens, my nerves rising at the body coming towards me. The boy climbs on top of me and I close my eyes, feeling his fist hit my jaw; the pain shooting through my whole body. _My jaw is still sore from my Dad's fist, two weeks ago._ His fist hits me again and I feel something pop, a warm liquid running down my cheek. More cuts. More bruises.

"Get the fuck off of him, man!"

I hear his voice again. _Jeremy_. Suddenly, I feel the boys weight leave my body, the sound of his body crashing onto the floor. I blink and slowly lift my head, feeling the room spin once again as I search for lime green hair.

"Get up, we gotta go!"

I feel his familiar hands grab my arms and I push my body up, the music making my head pound with each beat. _I have to get out of here._ I feel Jeremy's arm wrap around my waist and I close my eyes, feeling him lead the way.

"Tegan, what the fuck happened?"

I take in a small breath and hear the sound of a door opening, a rush of fresh air sinking into my pores. I lean my head to the side and rest it against Jeremy's shoulder, letting out a small sigh.

"He was trying to fucking kiss her, man."

Jeremy stops walking and I feel his arm leave my waist, making me stumble. I grab onto his arm and open my eyes, looking down at the ground. I take in a small breath and blink a few times, the blurriness fading as the green grass becomes clear.

"Shit."

"Who was trying to kiss her? Who's _her_?"

I lift my head and the image slowly comes to mind, making my blood rush through my veins. His hand on the wall, while the other one pulled her by the chin to look at him. _The way he leaned into her._ I take in a deep breath and feel my fingers curl again, throwing my head back. _The fact that she just stood there, letting it happen._

"Nobody. Nevermind."

Sara POV:

I take in a small breath and look at the open front door, feeling my nerves rise as the music stops. The sound of people's voices fill my head and I blink, his face flashing in my mind. The blood. The bruises. _Tegan_.

I push my body away from the wall and run to the door, hearing the sound of an engine roar to life. I pick my feet up faster and stop in the doorway, feeling a cool breeze as I look out into the street. Tegan's standing in front of his bike, his hands folded behind his head as he looks down at the ground. I take in a small breath and slowly walk out into the cold air, making my way to him.

"Tegan?"

I stop a few feet away from him and the muscles in his arms bulge. I hear him let out a small sigh and I take a step closer, feeling my heart race.

"Go back inside, your boyfriend's waiting."

My feet stop moving and my heart drops into my stomach, the sound of disgust and scorn laced in his voice.

" _Boyfriend_? What the hell are you talking about, Tegan? I don't have a boyfriend."

He drops his hands and slowly turns around, his eyes staring at the ground as he makes his way to me. He stops a few inches away from me and lifts his head a little, the smell of blood making it's way through my nostrils. I trail my eyes to his face and let out a small gasp. There's blood dripping down his cheek and his jaw is bruised. _Not again._

"Then who the fuck was that guy, huh? You just let anyone sweet talk you? You let anyone _have_ you?"

His voice is low and rough, sending a chill down my spine. _Have me?_ My heart starts to race as his words be come clear. _Have me._

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what the fuck that means."

He slowly shakes his head and turns around, walking back to his bike with a small limp. The blood in my veins begins to boil, his words making my stomach turn. I take a few steps forward and he stops in front of his bike again, shaking his head.

"What the fuck is this all about, huh? Why the fuck do you even care if someone else kisses me? If someone else _has_ me?"

The words fall from my lips, making my heart race again once more. He lifts his head up and turns to me, his body following. He moves his feet over the freshly trimmed grass and the smell of blood hits me again as he stops right in front of me, my nerves rising as he leans forward. He stops before our noses touch and I can feel his heavy breath beating against my lips, making my insides turn. _What is he going to do to me?_

He leans forward and I squeeze my eyes shut, preparing for some kind of pain. But, I don't get that. Instead, I get a pair of soft lips pressing against mine. My heart starts to race and my eyes flutter open, looking at a bloody face with closed eyes. _He's kissing me._ Suddenly, I feel a pair of soft hands cup my jaw and my eyes close again. _Tegan's kissing me._

His thumbs gently rub against the skin of my cheeks and I feel his lips move, softly sucking on my bottom lip. A chill runs down my spine and his thumbs stop moving, his lips pulling away from mine. _He kissed me._ I slowly open my eyes and look up at the face in front of me, his eyes low as they search every inch of my skin. _He looks sad._

My eyes never leave his as I lift my hands up and place them on the lower part of his stomach, right over his patch of ink. His stomach flutters underneath my fingers and I slowly move them down to the lining of his pants, my fingers wrapping through his belt loops.

"Why did you do that?"

I whisper, rubbing my thumbs against his jeans. He takes in a deep breath and trails his eyes back to mine, looking into them with a craving. Like he wants to kiss me again. _Do it._

"C'mon. I'll take you home."

His thumbs slide down my cheeks and his hands disappear from my jaw, a sudden wave of emptiness filling the space as he takes a step back. My fingers fall from from his belt loops and he reaches into his vest pocket, pulling out a familiar tin box and lighter. With shaky hands, he opens the box and puts a hand-rolled cigarette between his lips.

"I can't go home."

"Do you want me to take you to _another_ friends house? Or, do you want to stay?"

His voice is rough and it makes my heart skip a beat _. I don't want any of those._ I take a step forward and lift my hand up to his, grabbing the lighter from his fingers. His brows furrow and I lift the lid, a beautiful flame lighting up his face. _His cuts and bruises look worse, now._

"I want to go to your house."

His eyes trail down to the flame and he leans forward, the tip burning a bright orange as he inhales. I close the lid to his lighter and grab the tin box in has hand, putting both of them back into his vest pocket.

"Not happening."

With the cigarette still between his lips, he lets out a cloud of smoke and my heart drops an inch.

"Then I'll just stay here. Everyone's spending the night, anyway."

He keeps his head low as his eyes gaze into mine, a nervous chill running down my spine. _He looks angry, now._

"Is that guy spending the night?"

I lift my shoulders and shake my head, not knowing if he was or not. He grabs the cigarette from between his lips and looks back at the house, his jaw clenching harder every second.

"C'mon."

He turns around and stands still, reaching a hand back for me to take. My pupils blossom in excitement and I grab his hand, his legs pulling us both to his bike. I close my eyes for a quick second and my lips pull into a small smile, his hand gently squeezing mine with every step. _I'm going home with him._

* * *

The wind starts to slow down and I feel a warm palm settle over mine, my fingers clenching the fabric that covers his stomach. I open my eyes and look at the trees as they pass by, noticing that this area doesn't look familiar to me. I take in a small breath and lift my head up from his shoulder, looking around the dark area.

There's only 4 small houses in sight, all of them a mile away from each other. No city lights, no cement roads. All of it is flat land, grass with dirt pathways. _Where are we?_ The bike starts to slow down even more and I turn my head to the side, noticing that we're on a dirt pathway that leads to one of the houses. _Tegan's house._

We pull up to the dirt driveway and Tegan hits the kickstand out, the bike leaning to one side as the engine dies out. I feel his fingers gently squeeze mine and I trail my eyes to the house in front of us.

It's a small wooden house, the white paint chipping from years of rain and sunshine. The small porch is lined with a white gate, a couple of wicker chairs on each side of the front door. _It's not anything like my home_. It doesn't have another story, nor does it have a well kept front yard. But, for some reason . . . I feel like I belong here.

I slowly climb off of his bike and he lets go of my hand, my eyes trailing up to the dark blue sky. The moon is full tonight and there's a cluster of stars surrounding it, making everything glow a pretty blue. I turn my head to the side and Tegan's leaning up against his bike, his eyes fixed on the house in front of us. My eyes goes to his pale skin and my pupils blossom. Just like the night of the concert, his skin is glowing a pale blue.

"I never wanted to bring you here. It's shit compared to your place."

He scoffs, making my heart drop an inch. I trail my eyes back to the house and a small wave of comfort surrounds me, making every nerve in my body ease. _This feels like home to me._ I move my feet and quickly walk to the porch, climbing the steps to the front door. Tegan's voice echoes into the night, telling me to wait. But, I twist the old gold doorknob and the door pops open.

"Sara, wait."

I hear his voice. I push the door open and slowly step inside, my eyes scanning around the room. In the dark, I can only make out one thing. The moon is shining through a window, showing me a pile of sheets of the floor with two thin pillows. _He does sleep on the floor._

I feel a hot breeze on the back of my neck and I take a small step into the room, my eyes landing on a piece of paper that's sitting on top of one of the pillows. I slowly make my way to the pile of sheets and stop right next to them, folding my legs to kneel on the floor. I lean over the first pillow and grab the small piece of paper, bringing it up to my eyes as I sit back.

 _ **Thank you for the groceries, Honey. I made your bed for you, since I'm pretty sure you'll be coming home late tonight. I hope you stayed out of trouble today? If not, I'll take care of the cuts in the morning. Get some rest, I love you.**_

 _ **\- Aunt Rita**_

I take in a small breath and the words float through my mind _. 'I hope you stayed out of trouble today? If not, I'll take care of the cuts in the morning.'_ I close my eyes for a quick second and look down at the sheets, my body craving to be wrapped up in them with him. I set the piece of paper down and crawl onto the sheets, my knees hurting from the hard wood floor. I hear the door click shut and I lay my body down onto the sheets, resting my head against the flat pillow. I turn my head to the side and look down at the place where Tegan will be, laying right next to me. _He's so different from me._

His life, it's different from mine. At sixteen, my parents were telling me that people with tattoos are no good. At sixteen, Tegan's parents were taking him to a tattoo shop to be marked for life. Once I turn eighteen, my parents have already told me that they will pay top dollar to have me dorm at the University of my choice. At eighteen, Tegan's family is in Oregon and he's down here, working a full time job to save up enough money to bring his Mom down. Every night, I go to sleep on a queen sized bed with a thick blanket and fluffy pillows. Every night, he goes to sleep on a hardwood floor that's covered in a few sheets with two thin pillows.

I close my eyes and hear the sound of soft footsteps, feeling a wave of warmth settle down next to me. I open my eyes and Tegan's sitting there, his legs close to his chest while his arms hang loosely around them. He's staring down at a piece of paper in his hands. _The note._ He lets out a small sigh and folds the paper up, putting it in his vest pocket. I lift one hand and reach out to him, placing it on his back.

"Lay down."

He slowly leans back and lays his body down, his head resting on the other thin pillow. He lifts one arm up and I scoot closer to him, turning my body to lay my head down on his chest. His arms wraps around me and I let out a shaky breath, finding it scary that I feel so safe with him.

"Are you cold?"

He whispers, his hand gently sliding up and down my arm. I shake my head and softly nuzzle my head into his chest, feeling a weird thick fabric underneath his shirt. I brush the feeling away and bring my free hand to his stomach, pushing the fabric up. In the silence, I can feel his heart pound against his chest as his breathing starts to go low. _He's nervous._ I place my hand on his soft skin and slowly move my fingers, feeling the outline of ink.

"Goodnight."

"Night, Sara."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The Ghost In You

Tegan POV:

I close my eyes and take in a sharp breath, the pain shooting through every inch of my face. My Aunt's fingers gently dig into the skin around my cut and I feel my warm blood mix with the burning alcohol. You would think that with all the beatings I've taken, I would be used to the pain of alcohol on a freshly washed wound. Well, I'm not. I hate the clean-up process.

"Almost done."

I hear my Aunt's voice. I let out a small sigh and lean back in my chair, feeling a soft cloth wipe away the liquid on my face. The cloth disappears and I tilt my head back, already knowing what's next. Her fingers press two small thin-lined bandages across my cut and I wince, the pressure of her fingers feeling like a poked bruise.

"You know, you wouldn't have to go through this if you would just stop with the fighting."

Her fingers disappear and I slowly open my eyes, blinking away the blurry vision of her pulling out the other chair from across the table. She sits down and grabs the beer bottle on the place matte. She takes a small sip and moves forward, holding the bottle out for me. I take in a deep breath and reach for it, leaning on the edge of the table as I take a sip.

"What was the reason this time, huh? Someone look at you funny? Someone touch your wheels?"

I let out a small chuckle and she smiles, softly shaking her head. I set the beer bottle back onto the table and lean back in my chair, trailing my eyes over to the open doorway that leads to the living room. From this angle, I can't see Sara's body sprawled out on my sheets. But, I know she's there.

"It's kind of hard to explain."

I whisper, the image of this morning still burning in my mind. When I woke up, Sara was clinging to me. Her face was buried between my neck and shoulder, one hand resting on my stomach while her legs were tangled with mine. _It was nice._

"Does it have to do with the girl who's sleeping on my living room floor?"

I trail my eyes back to my Aunt's and she's leaning on the table, her arms folded across her chest with her eyebrows arched in amusement. I reach out for the brown bottle and bring it to my lips, looking down at the ground as I take a sip.

"You and girls, Tegan. Always a lover _and_ a fighter."

"So, I've been told."

I rest the bottle down on the table and look up at the woman across from me, a small smirk on her face. My lips pull into a small smile and she lets out a sigh, standing up from her chair. She walks to the stove across the room and grabs a pan from the back burner, placing it on the first one.

"Well, you already know the rules. No sex in my house, Tegan."

I take in a small breath and lift my hands up, running my fingers through my hair to lock my hands behind my neck. _Being intimate with Sara?_ Honestly, I've only thought about that once. In a dream. It started off nice. She was soft and warm, making my insides melt. But, the moment she unzipped my pants and slid her gentle fingers inside, the dream changed. Her long brown hair, turned into short-curly red hair. Her pale skin and brown eyes, were replaced with freckles and green orbs. And, the hand the was once inside my pants . . . was inches away from my chest, the tip of a familiar dull rusted knife pressing over the skin that covers my heart. Since then, I haven't thought about it. _I'm too scared to._

"Don't worry, I don't think I'm even ready for that yet."

My Aunt places a few sausage links into the pan and turns around, taking a step to the side so she can lean against the counter. She crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her head to the side, looking at me with heavy eyes.

"That's understandable, honey. But, this girl. I'm guessing that she took the _truth_ very well, seeing as she came home with you last night."

Her lips pull into a small smile and I take in a short breath, feeling my heart race.

"I haven't told her yet."

I whisper, feeling every bone in my body grow numb. _I'm too scared to tell her._ My Aunt closes her eyes for a quick second and lifts both of her hands up, running them through her frizzy blonde hair.

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"Yeah, I am. I just need time to figure out the words."

She takes in a deep breath and pushes her body off the counter, walking to me with open arms. I stay in my chair and wrap my arms around her waist, resting my head on her stomach. Her hands rub soothing circles into my back and I close my eyes, feeling the warmth of her love surround me. _It's been a while since I felt this_. My Aunt is the only other woman in this world, who loves my like this. _Like a mother loves their child._

"Never be afraid to be who you are, Tegan. Okay?"

I open my eyes and slowly lift my head, looking up at my Aunt. Her eyes are glossy with fresh salty tears and it makes my heart drop _. I love this woman._ I nod my head and her lips pull into a small weak smile, her fingers gently running through my hair.

"Good Morning."

I hear a familiar soft voice. My Aunt's fingers disappear from my hair and I turn my head, my heart racing at the girl who's standing in the doorway. The glow from the rays of sunlight make her skin look a beautiful ivory color, the pink on her cheeks standing out the most. Her hair is messily pushed over to one side and her eyes are drooping at the corners with sleep. She's still in her clothes from last night, but now my big black leather jacket that I used to cover her this morning is hanging off of her shoulders. _She looks beautiful._

"Morning."

"Come and sit down, honey. Breakfast will be a few minutes."

My Aunt's arms pull away from me and Sara's lips pull into a nervous line, her feet slowly moving across the creek wooden floor.

"Sara, this is my Aunt Rita. Aunt Rita, this is Sara."

Sara turns to my Aunt who's standing in front of the stove and smiles, lifting up one hand to run her fingers through her hair.

"Nice to meet you, Ma'am."

I turn to my Aunt and she's leaning against the counter once again, her eyes fixed on Sara with a small smile on her lips.

"I've never been called Ma'am a day in my life, honey. Just call me Aunt Rita, and it's very nice to meet you too."

I look back at Sara and her cheeks are red, a nervous smile on her lips as she nods her head. I let out a soft chuckle and stand up, reaching for the chair across the table and setting it down in front of mine. Sara turns to me and I sit back down, tapping my fingers on the cushioned seat. She takes the hint and sits down, one of her legs tucking underneath her butt while the other one comes up to her chest.

"How did you sleep?"

I ask, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees. _Every time she's around, I want to be as close to her as I possibly can._ She lifts both of her hands up and places them on her knee, resting her head on top of them while she looks at me.

"Better than I have in a while."

Her lips pull into a small smile and my heart jumps, watching as a piece of hair falls into her face. I reach one hand up and gently tuck it behind her ear, the palm of my hand softly brushing against her cheek. A chill runs down my spine and I pull away, finding it odd that she has this affect on me already. _It took me months to feel this affect with Denise._

"So, Sara. What grade are you in?"

I hear my Aunt's voice. Sara sits up straight and turns her head to the side, my eyes landing on a small birthmark that's right above her collar bone. My pupils blossom as realization hits me. It's in the shape of a diamond.

"I just started my Senior year."

"That's good. Do you plan on going to college after?"

I can hear Sara 's voice, but I can't make out what she's saying. My eyes trace the outline of her birthmark and a familiar set of lyrics play in my head. _Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds._ I close my eyes for a quick second and my grandfather's words burn in my mind. _'You're gonna pick up a bunch of rocks before you find a diamond, son. Trust me on that.'_

"Tegan?"

I blink and take in a short breath, looking up at the girl in front of me. Her eyes are burning into mine, her head tilted to the side with a confused look on her face. _She's silently asking if I'm okay._ I nod my head and sit up straight, leaning back into my chair.

"We're still going out tonight, right?"

The confusion in her features is gone, her eyes lighting up with excitement. She sits up straight and nods her head, trying to hide the smile that desperately wants to show. I let out a small chuckle and her fingers start to tap against her knee, she's anxious.

"Where are we going?"

I take in a deep breath and slowly shake my head, watching her smile finally break through. She throws her head back and I let out a soft chuckle, reaching forward to place my hand on her knee.

"You'll see tonight. Do you want me to take you home after you eat breakfast?"

The smile on her face starts to fade and she turns her head to the side, looking up at my Aunt as she sets down a plate right in front of her. My Aunt walks back to the stove and Sara turns back to me.

"Actually, my parents are out of town and I don't have a way to get in my house. I'm supposed to be staying at my friend's house, but I don't know if she'll want me there after what happened last night."

I take in a deep breath and lift my hands up, rubbing away the stress that's already forming. _I haven't even thought about that._ Sara's friends probably hate her because of me. She left with the person who started a fight at the party. She left with the bad guy.

"Well, you're welcome to stay here until your parents come back. I'm pretty sure I have some clothes for you to wear tonight, we look to be about the same size."

I hear my Aunt's voice. I turn my head to the side and my Aunt's facing us, leaning towards the kitchen counter with a plate in her hand. She trails her eyes to me and I tilt my head to the side, silently asking her if she's serious. Her lips pull into a small smile and my heart skips a beat. _She's serious_.

"Really? Thank you."

I turn my attention back to Sara and she's smiling, moving her fork around her plate of eggs and sausage. _She's staying with me for another night._ My lips curl into a small smile and I sit back in my chair, lifting a hand to run my fingers through my damp hair. _She's sleeping with me for another night._

"What time is your appointment today, Tegan?"

I trail my eyes up to the small plastic clock that's hanging above the doorway and let out a small sigh, it's almost time for me to leave.

"I gotta leave in 5 minutes. The bank closes at 2, then I have to go to Jeremy's house to pick up some stuff then do a check on his bike.."

My Aunt nods and I turn back to Sara, watching her cut a piece of sausage. I lean forward and place my hand on her knee, gently tapping on it. She sets her fork down and turns to me, her head slightly tilted to the side. _God, she's cute._

"Hey, I gotta do a couple of things before we go out tonight. Do you think you'll be alright here without me?"

She trails her eyes to the woman across the room then looks back at me, a small smile on her lips as she nods her head. My lips curl and I pat her knee, pushing my body up from the chair while I reach into my front pocket for my keys. I pull them out and take a step forward, when I feel a pair of soft fingers wrap around my wrist. I stop in my tracks and look down, her dark brown orbs glowing with the natural sunlight that's shining through the windows as she looks up at me. My heart stops.

"You're not hungry?"

Her voice is so soft and so low, it makes every hair on the back of my neck stand up straight.

"I'm not really a breakfast person."

She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and looks down at the ground for a quick second, like she's deep in thought.

"Tegan, do you mind me being here?"

She asks, her eyes growing wide with nerves. My brows furrow as her words slowly process in my mind. _Do you mind me being here?_ I tilt my head to the side and scan the features of her face, feeling my breath hitch as realization hits me.

" _Here_ , is where I want you to be."

The nerves in her eyes fade and her lips curl into a small smile, making my heart race. With her fingers still wrapped around my wrist, I bring my hand up to her jaw and gently rub the pad of my thumb over her cheek. _Her skin is so soft._ She leans into my touch and I feel everything in my body grow numb as I lean down, closing my eyes. My lips press against hers and her fingers tighten their grip on my wrist, a small sigh leaving her lips. _Like she's been waiting for me to kiss her._ My lips curl into a smile against hers and I pull away, resting my forehead on hers as I open my eyes. _Her eyes are still closed._

"I'll be back at 6:30, be ready by then?"

She softly nods her head and I let out a small chuckle, leaning forward once more to press a quick peck on her lips. Once I pull away from her lips, her eyes slowly open; showing me her blossomed pupils. _She's beautiful._

"Bye."

"See you."

Sara POV:

I hear the front door shut and I take in a deep breath, lifting my fingers up to touch my lips; they're still warm from his touch. They curl into a small smile and I drop my hand down, closing my eyes for a quick second to burn the feeling into my mind. _The feeling of him kissing me._

His lips are warm and so soft, they feel like velvet against mine. And, his hands. _God, those hands._ The way they grip my jaw, holding me in place for him to look straight at me. _To look straight into me._ I hope they always hold me in place for him.

"You want some orange juice, Sara?"

I hear Tegan's Aunt's voice. I turn my head to the side and look at the woman across the room, holding up a freshly washed glass cup. I nod my head and she smiles, reaching behind her to grab the carton of orange juice. She makes her way to me and sits down in the chair that Tegan was just in a few minutes ago. Suddenly, the sound of a loud engine roars and my heart skips a beat. _I already know that sound by heart._

"I always get scared every time I hear that sound."

His Aunt says, pouring some orange juice into my glass. The sound of the engine starts to fade away and I lean against the table, folding my arms across my chest. _He's gone, now._

"Why? Not really used to it?"

My lips curl into a small smile and she takes in a deep breath, shaking her head as she leans back in her chair.

"Oh, no. That's a sound I've heard for all my life, I grew up with that sound waking me up every morning and putting me to sleep every night. It's just, when I hear Tegan's engine . . . I get nervous."

I take in a small breath and tilt my head to the side, trailing my eyes over every feature of her face. Her eyes are a familiar hazel, but with specks of gold and green. Her skin is the color of Tegan's, with a tiny patch of freckles on each cheek. Her lips are a familiar shape, too. _She looks just like him._

"He drives pretty good, though."

She lets out a small chuckle and leans forward, folding her arms across her chest just like me.

"Of course _he_ does, he learned how to ride when he was 7 years old. Once his Daddy got him his first bike at 12, he was never home. So, I trust him when it comes to riding. It's just, I still have this fear that one day I'll never hear his engine again."

I trail my eyes down to the plate of food in front of me and feel my stomach turn, the thought of never hearing that sound again making my heart race. _If something were to ever happen to Tegan, I don't know what I would do._ The thought of not being able to see him climb through my bedroom window at night. The thought of not being able to see the few patches of ink on his skin. The thought of not being able to inhale his scent of cigarettes and fresh peppermint. The thought of not being able to watch him dazed while he listens to his music. The thought of not being able to feel my whole body relax the moment his lips or fingers touch me. The thought alone of not seeing him ever again. _I don't know what I would do._

"I remember when he was about 14, he didn't come home for 4 days. When his daddy called to tell me, I got on my bike and drove through every city in Oregon looking for him."

"Where did you find him?"

I ask, leaning one elbow on the table and resting my head in the palm of my hand. His Aunt slowly shakes her head and leans back in her chair, licking her lips.

"I didn't. On the fifth day, I stopped by a pay phone in Albany to call his daddy. Well, to make the story short . . . the Police brought Tegan home the day before."

"The Police? What did he do?"

My eyes grow wide, nerves surfacing from each pore. He was only 14, what could he have done to be escorted home by them?

"They found him in a city named Fossil, sleeping on the floor inside of a church. When the pastor found him, he called the police and Tegan told them the truth."

"What's the truth?"

Tegan's Aunt takes in a deep breath and lifts a hand, running her bony fingers through her soft blonde hair. She looks nervous. _She's nervous to tell me._

"That his parent's had gotten into a fight and he ran away."

I take in a small breath and sit up straight, lifting my hands to run my fingers through my hair. _His parents got into a fight, so he ran away?_

"Was the fight _that_ bad?"

She takes in a deep breath and lifts a hand, covering her mouth as she slowly nods her head.

"Yeah, it was. Actually, it was the first _fight_ that his parents had ever gotten into. So, he was scared. Really scared."

I softly nod my head, noticing that her eyes are growing heavy from the subject. _She doesn't want to talk about this_. And, to be honest, I don't either. I don't wanna think about Tegan sleeping on the floor in a church, scared and alone. That's the last thing I want to think about.

"Well, enough about this. Let's go find you an outfit, yeah?"

Her lips pull into a small smile and I let out a sigh of relief, softly nodding my head. She pushes her body up from her chair and I do the same, following behind her as she leads us to a narrow doorway in the kitchen. She turns to the left and we enter a small hallway, the light above showing that the walls are painted a light beige. There's two doors, one with a small bathroom sign on it. We stop in front of the one without a sign and she opens the door, my eyes slightly cringing at the sunlight that's shining through her windows.

"Go ahead and sit on the bed, I'll pull some clothes out for you."

Tegan's Aunt walks inside and I slowly open my eyes, looking at everything that surrounds me as I walk in. The walls are a flat white, a few pictures hanging on them with black frames. She has two dressers on each side of her bed, both with two lamps and a picture sitting on the top. Her bed spread is a bright blue and the pillows are white, one small rag doll sitting on top of them. Her room is plain.

I stop at the edge of her bed and sit down, looking at the dresser beside me. I reach out for the picture frame and slowly bring it to my lap, my eyes trailing over the image with curiosity. There's four people in this picture. Two of them are women, both sitting on a small green couch with big smiles on their faces. Then, there's two small children. Each one is placed on a woman's lap, arms securely wrapped around them as they smile. The two small children, are both boys.

"Are you one of these ladies, Aunt Rita?"

I ask, turning my head to the side to look at the woman who's standing in front of her closet with a few pants and shirts on each arm. She stops moving her hands through the hanging clothes and turns around, looking at me with curious eyes. I lift the picture up and she trails her eyes to it, her lips instantly curling into a small smile. She makes her way to the bed and neatly sets the clothes down, sitting on the edge right next to me.

"That's me right there, on the right."

She says, pointing a slim finger to the picture. I trail my eyes back down to the picture and look at the woman on the right. Her hair is bright red and curly, her face a pale white with red lipstick standing out. Now that I'm actually looking at the woman's face, it does look like her.

"Then on the left, that's my sister. Tegan's Mom."

A chill runs down my spine at his name and I look over at the woman on the left, my nerves swarming with curiosity. Her hair is jet black and curly, her face a familiar pale. _Tegan's pale._ Her lips are covered in the same bright red lipstick and my nerves slowly settle in the pit of my stomach. _That's Tegan's mom._

"The boy in her lap, that's my son."

I hear her voice . I trail my eyes down to the boy sitting in Tegan's Mom's lap and study him. He's wearing a white t-shirt with a pair of denim overalls, he look's to be about three years old. His skin is a light tan, his head covered with a mop of dark brown curls. He sort of resembles Aunt Rita, but I have a feeling that he looks more like his Dad.

"Where is he? He doesn't live with you?"

I turn my head to her and she takes in a deep breath, gently shaking her head.

"After his Daddy died, I wanted to get away from Oregon. Everyone in the neighborhood would constantly tell me that they were sorry and that they were here for me. I was tired of it. I was trying my best to get over it, I was trying my best not to cry every time I passed by a place that reminded me of him . . . but they wouldn't let me. So, I had to leave. I asked Casey if he wanted to come with me, explained to him why _I_ had to leave. He understood, but he couldn't leave."

Her eyes start to water and I reach a hand out, softly grabbing hers. Her fingers cling to mine and I slowly rub my thumb over hers, trying to ease her pain. Letting her know that _I'm_ here. Her lips curl into a small smile and she takes in a short breath, trailing her eyes back down to the picture in my hand.

"The boy in my lap, that's Tegan."

 _Tegan_. I take in a small breath and trail my eyes down to the boy in Aunt Rita's lap, my lips instantly curling into a small smile at the sight. The boy's skin is well known to my eyes, it's the same color that makes my fingers twitch with the feeling of wanting to touch. His jet black hair, parted to the side and slicked back with gel. Just the way it is now. _It is Tegan._

"My sister and I got pregnant around the same time. Tegan and Casey were born only a week apart from each other, so we raised them together. At night, we used to put them to sleep in separate beds . . . we always found them in the same bed each morning."

I let out a soft chuckle and set the picture down on my lap, looking back up at the woman next to me. Her smile is light and it makes my mind ease, _this is something that she likes to talk about._ Tegan and Casey.

"They're a lot alike, you know. Tegan and Casey."

"How?"

I ask, feeling her fingers gently squeeze mine. The smile on her face starts to fade and I take in a short breath, guilt stirring up in my stomach once again. _I keep asking the wrong questions._

" _Who_ and _what_ they are. Sara, our boys are very different. They're different from the people who you categorize as normal."

 _Normal?_ I tilt my head to the side and look down at our laced hands in her lap. _Normal_. She means that he's nothing like me. _That he wasn't brought up like me_. I take in a deep breath and close my eyes, the image of his body laying on my carpeted floor burning in my mind. _He wasn't brought up like me at all._ I'm used to my comfortable bed with satin sheets and thick-fluffy pillows. He's used to hardwood floors with thin cotton sheets. _He's not like me at all._

"Please don't take this the wrong way, Aunt Rita. But, I don't care if he's different. I actually like that about him."

I look up at her and her eyes are roaming over every feature of my face, a hint of sadness in her pupils. A few strands of my hair fall over my eyes but I leave them, feeling my body grow warm under her gaze. _I hope she isn't mad at me._

"If he ever becomes _too_ different for you, just please . . . promise me that you'll never hurt him? Never lay a hand on him, he doesn't deserve that for being himself."

I tilt my head to the side as her words slowly process in my mind. _Hurt him? Lay a hand on him?_ My eyes close for a quick second and the image of his bloody and bruised face flashes in my mind. _Has a girl in his past ever physically hurt him?_ The thought makes my stomach turn and my blood boil. How anyone could hurt him, I'll never know _. Why anyone would hurt him just because he's different, I'll truly never know._

"I would _never_ hurt him, Aunt Rita. Physically or emotionally. Different or not, I don't want to do that to him."

Her fingers squeeze mine once again and her lips pull into a weak smile, making my heart skip a beat _. A girl has physically hurt Tegan before_. I don't even need to ask, it's all there in her sad smile and glossy eyes.

"Thank you, Sara."

I softly nod my head and her fingers wiggle away from mine, both of her hands coming up to her face to wipe at her glossy eyes. She drops her hands back down to her thighs and looks at me, her eyes puffy and red.

"You look tired, Honey."

"A little. Last night was my first night ever sleeping on a floor."

She lets out a soft chuckle and I smile, lifting a hand to push the hair away from my eyes.

"Well, you can get ready now and then take a nap in here? I have to step into the kitchen to make a phone call, but you're welcome to anything of mine in this room. Bathroom is in the hall and there's a clean towel in there for you."

"Thank you, Aunt Rita."

Her lips pull into a soft smile and she nods her head, standing up. She walks over to the clear doorway and steps into the hall, turning her head to the side to look at me.

"If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen."

I nod my head and she slowly closes the door behind her, leaving me by myself in her room. I take in a deep breath and trail my eyes down to the pile of clothes on the bed. It's a pile of black, red and white. I shift closer to the bed and grab a pair of black pants, tossing them to the side as a familiar thought comes to mind again. _A girl has physically hurt Tegan._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Review & Enjoy!**_

Chapter 7: Please, Let Me Get What I Want This Time

Tegan POV:

I set the box down on top of the kitchen table and reach inside, moving the greasy tools around. My lips pull into a small smile and I pull my hand out, walking over to the kitchen sink. I turn the small nob and cold water pours over my hands, making my body slightly cool down after a day under the hot sun.

"I thought I heard you pull up."

I hear my Aunt's voice, then the sound of a chair being pulled out. I turn the stream of water off and turn around, leaning against the kitchen sink as I look at the lady across from me. Her blonde hair is wet, small little drops falling onto the floor every second. And, she's alone. No Sara.

"Where's Sara?"

I ask, taking in a deep breath. My nerves start to surface, the thought of my Aunt saying _'she left, Tegan'_ making my stomach turn. My Aunt takes in a small breath and points to the doorway that leads to the hallway.

"She's asleep in my room. Poor thing, she's never slept on a floor before."

The nerves fade away but my stomach stays turning, guilt twisting with it. She lied to me this morning, she said that she slept better than she has in a while. _Why would she do that?_ I take in a small breath and lift my hands, running my fingers through my hair. _She could have told me the truth._

"I'm gonna go check on her."

I push my body off of the counter and walk over to the doorway, slowly stepping into the small hallway. My eyes trail to the last door on the right and I stop right in front of it, gently turning the gold doorknob. A soft breeze sinks into my pores as I push the door open, noticing the purple and pink colors shining off of the walls from the sunset outside. I push the door all the way and my eyes trail to the queen sized bed, a small figure laying right in the middle. All my building anger fades away as I slowly make my way to her, stopping at the edge of the bed. My eyes skim over the fragile body buried in a navy blue comforter and I let out a small sigh, _who cares if she lied . . . I can't be mad at her._

I take in a deep breath and slowly climb onto the bed, trying my best not to wake her yet. I settle myself down on the thick mattress and turn my body to her, my eyes landing on her face for the first time in hours. _I missed her face, more than I should have._ Her eyelashes gently rest against her pink cheeks and small strands of her hair have fallen in her face. My lips pull into a soft smile as I bend my arm and rest my head in my palm, looking down at her.

This is odd. Very odd. When I moved down here, I had my priorities set. I made a promise to my Mom that I would finish High School, that I would be the first in the Quin Family to graduate. Maybe even apply to few colleges after, getting a degree in Mechanics and owning my own shop. _That's always been my dream._ But, things have changed. High school is now a broken promise to my Mom, one that I hope she'll understand. College? Without my Diploma, not even close. Owning my own shop? I'll just have to work in one for the rest of my life. _And, her_. She's a new one. An addition to my list of priorities. _I want to make her happy._

"Do you always stare at people when they're trying to sleep?"

I hear her soft voice. A small chill runs down my spine as her eyes slowly open, my pupils growing as they land on her dark brown orbs. That brown, it's _so_ familiar. It's oddly comforting. I close my eyes for a quick second, the dirt from Elliot State forest flashing through my mind. The blood in my veins stills as I look down at her, realization hitting me in the chest like a fist. _She reminds me of home._

Without hesitation, I lean down and press my lips against hers; my eyes instantly closing at the warmth they bring. She lets out a small gasp against my lips and it makes my whole body numb, my mind wondering how she would gasp with my face between her thighs. Suddenly, I feel her warm palm press against my cheek and I skim my tongue over her bottom lip. Her lips slowly part and I slip into her, my eyes rolling back as my mind starts to twist. The taste of beer from last night is long gone, I can only taste her. It makes my thighs tremble.

"Shit."

I whisper, feeling her fingers slowly drag down my cheek. They stop for a quick second on my jaw, then softly run down my neck. I take in a deep breath and slowly pull myself away, knowing that I have very little self control when a girl's hands are on me. I keep my eyes closed and lean my forehead against hers, noticing that her skin is warm and her breathing is shaky. My lips pull into a small smile, _she's that way because of me._

"We gotta get going."

I mumble, gently pressing my nose against hers. She lets out a soft chuckle and I open my eyes, pulling away to watch her lips crinkle at the corners. _God, she's beautiful._

"Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see when we get there. I just gotta fix myself up really quick."

I whisper, slowly pulling away from her. Her fingers travel to the back of my neck and her grip tightens, making me stop. My eyes travel back to hers and she's looking down, my skin suddenly growing hot underneath her gaze.

"What do you need to fix?"

Her eyes trail up to mine and the innocence in them makes my core tremble. _She doesn't even know the effect she has on me._ I take in a small breath and lift my hand, running my fingers through my hair.

"I'm gonna change my shirt, since there's grease stains on it. Then I gotta wash up and do something with my fucking hair."

Sara lets out a soft chuckle and I smile, feeling her fingertips slowly travel up from my neck and into my hair. Her lips pull into a small smile and she lifts her head up, her lips pressing softly against my cheek.

"I'll wait for you in the living room."

She pulls away and turns to the edge of the bed, my eyes following her as she sits up and the blanket falls to the side. She stands and I look down, every bone in my body pulsing. Her legs are covered in tight-skinny black jeans, a familiar dark maroon jumper hanging over it. _That's the knitted sweater that my Mom made for my Aunt's 28th birthday._ She walks over to the bedroom door and reaches for the light switch, flicking it on. My eyes travel even lower and my heart skips a beat, my burgundy Doc's covering her feet. _My god._ Without another word, she opens the door and steps out into the hallway.

"Fuck."

I whisper, throwing my head onto the pillow where her head once was. _It's been so long._ Two years since I've buried my face between a girls trembling thighs. To feel a girls lips grind against my cheeks while her back arches off the bed, moans flowing in one ear and never leaving out of the other. _It's been too long._

"But, you're not ready."

I mumble to myself, closing my eyes. _It's true, I'm not._ The scar that lays over my heart starts to burn and I take in another deep breath, crossing my arm over my chest. _If only I had been fast enough to cover my chest that day, these scars wouldn't be there._ I hate them. I hate the way they look. I hate the way that they burn every time I think of her. But, what I really hate most about them . . . is how they've scared me away from something that I love. _Women_. I'm scared that history will repeat itself and I'll be in a hospital bed once again. Only this time, with a flat chest and a tube to keep me alive.

That's why I _hate_ that I kissed her last night. The moment I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, I knew that I was gone. I _watched_ and **felt** as my world came crashing down on me. Why? Because, I promised myself that after Denise . . . I would never let another girl have a hold on me. That I would never _fully_ give myself to a girl with a pretty face, simply for the fact that they're known to be the deadliest. But, for a second, I forgot about that promise the day that I saw Sara. Her long brown hair that was kissed by the blue stage lights. Her piercing brown eyes that seemed to follow every muscle that I moved. That was enough to make me vulnerable for a small second, I knew that I had to have her.

My thoughts suddenly vanish as a familiar voice fills my ears, my lips instantly pulling into a small smile. _Steven Patrick Morrisey._ I take in a small breath and slowly sit up on my Aunt's bed, looking out of the window as my tape plays from my boom box in the kitchen. In just a few hours, I'll be listening to his voice with a room full of my kind of people . . . with her under my arm.

Sara POV:

The world around me starts to slow down, the wind letting my hair softly sway. I take in a small breath and slowly open my eyes, lifting my head to rest my chin on Tegan's shoulder. A cool breeze sinks into my pores as my eyes roam the unfamiliar city. _I've never been around here before._

The buildings make my mind swirl, most of them having bright flashing lights a few feet above the entrances. I trail my eyes over one building, the lights making my pupils blossom in awe. _El Capitan._ There's people standing around the entrance, some dressed in nothing but denim and black, other's in white button ups and pastel colored shorts. My nose scrunches up in confusion, _we never see these two mix in The Valley._

We pass a few more places that have bright lights and people crowding the entrance, my mind whirling at the way they come together. We slow down to a stop at a red light and I trail my eyes up, looking at the sign that's hanging from a streetlight. _Sunset Blvd._ The light shines a bright green and Tegan takes off again, my eyes looking around at the crowded street. We're right in between two cars, driving down the lines that separate the two lanes.

My stomach starts to twist with excitement and I look up, the scene slightly changing from the one we were just on. The buildings are more dark, some with black paint. None of the signs that hang on the side of the buildings are flashing with bright white lights.

"The Roxy."

I whisper, burning the red letters into my mind. There's a line of people outside, most leaning against the black wall with smoke leaving their lips. All of them are dressed in black, some with their hair a different color and spiked up high. _They look like the people that Tegan hangs out with._

I trail my eyes to the building next to it and notice that the sign is bright, the colors of it fitting in with the name. _The Rainbow Room._ My lips pull into a small smile as I look down, another line hanging out against the wall. Suddenly, I feel a warm palm rest over my hand. I turn my head to the side and Tegan turns a little, his eyes still focused on the road as he leans back.

"We're here."

I nod my head and gently tap my fingers against his stomach, letting him know that I heard him with all the noise around us. His fingers gently squeeze mine for a quick second, then they're gone. We slow down to a stop in a lane that's between the two opposites, my eyes trailing to the building on my right hand side. _Whiskey A Go Go._ The name is in a pretty red cursive font, unlike the others. _It's oddly welcoming._ Tegan turns into the street and slowly pulls up to a small piece of concrete that isn't painted red, kicking the kick stand out and turning off the engine. Without saying a word, I remove my hands from his stomach and bring them up to his shoulders, pressing against them as I slowly climb off of his bike. I stand on the side and turn to the building in front of me, my eyes going to the white board hanging on the corner. **THE SMITHS - 8pm** are in the center, no other words surrounding it.

"Let me guess, you've never heard of The Smiths?"

I turn my head to the side and he's standing right next to me, a perfectly rolled up cigarette between his lips with an orange tip. He tilts his head to the side and looks down at me, probably already knowing my answer. I shake my head and he takes in a deep breath, lifting his hand to pull the cigarette away from his lips.

"God, woman. The things I need to show you."

He parts his lips and a cloud of smoke travels into the open air. _Please, show me everything you know_. He lifts the cigarette back up to his lips and keeps it there, his hand suddenly grabbing mine. My lips pull into a small smile as he walks in front of me, guiding me to the front entrance. _My hand feels so warm in his._ We turn the corner and my eyes go to the people who are lined up against the wall, my shoulders tensing. _We will be part of that line in just a few moments._

"Jacob!"

I trail my eyes to the left, noticing that we're walking up to a man who's standing at the front entrance with his arms crossed, dressed in all black. The man's lips pull into a small smile as Tegan stops right in front of him, his fingers pulling me close to his back while his thumb softly rubs against mine.

"Get your fucking ass in there, Quin. Jeremy's at the bar."

The man steps to the side and my eyes travel to the dark doorway that was once behind him, a chill running down my spine. Tegan's fingers squeeze mine and my stomach flutters as he pulls us toward the door, my other hand coming up to rest on the small of his back. We pass the threshold and I look around, a small dim lit hallway with black and white photos scattered all over the walls. Suddenly, I hear the sound of people mumbling. I take in a deep breath and grip the denim of his jacket, wanting him to be as close to me as possible. _I'm around people that I don't even know, it's slightly scary._

We get to the end of the hallway and Tegan suddenly turns to the right, my pupils blossoming as we enter a giant dim lit room. My fingers tighten on his denim jacket as my eyes take in the people who are scattered around, all of them dressed like Punks. _These are Tegan's people._

His fingers squeeze mine for a quick second and he suddenly stops, slowly turning around to face me. I trail my eyes up to his face and he has the cigarette placed between his lips, smoke leaving his nostrils with ease. _I still find that so fascinating._

"I've got some people that I want you to meet. Are you okay with that?"

My eyes trail over the features of his face, my heart beating loud as realization hits me. _He wants me to meet his friends._ I take in a small breath and look down at the ground for a few seconds, my nerves slowly surfacing. _'Most guys won't bring you around their friends if they ain't serious about you, Sara. Always remember that. If a guy brings you around the people_ _ **he**_ _loves to be around, you mean something to him.'_ I still remember the tone of Richard's voice when he told me that, it's something I'll never forget.

"Yeah, I'm okay with that."

He tilts his head to the side and lifts his hand, taking the cigarette between his fingers as his eyes roam my face. His lips slowly pull into a soft smile and he brings the cigarette back between his lips, motioning his head towards the bar.

"C'mon."

He turns back around and tightens his hold on my hand, slowly guiding me to the other side of the room. I turn my head to the side and my pupils blossom as they take in the sight of the burgundy floor stage. Black curtains hang around it, the bands equipment already set up and shining bright under the red stage lights. _Live music, there's nothing better._

Tegan slows down to a stop and I turn my head, my eyes taking in the old fashioned bar. The wooden counter top is old, names and numbers carved into it with peoples pocket knifes. The shelves that hold the bottles of liquor are the same wood, the glasses stacked up high on the side. A guy is standing behind the bar in the far left corner, his body dressed in all black with his hair a bright lime green. He's talking to a bunch of guys that are leaning against the bar with girls under their arms. _I've seen him before._

"Hey, Bartender! Quit fucking around and start making me a whiskey on the rocks!"

I hear Tegan's voice, my heart fluttering at how rough it was. The boy with lime green hair turns and his lips pull into a big smile, his hand waving us over to his small little crowd. Tegan gently pulls my hand and I can't help but smile, knowing that Tegan probably feels at home with these people.

We stop right next to the small crowd and they all turn, looking at Tegan with gummy smiles. Tegan steps forward and looks up at a guy with the sides of his head shaved, a strip of hair standing up straight. The guy smiles and opens his arms, Tegan's grip on my hand getting a little loose as he throws an arm around him. A few other guys pat Tegan on the back and Tegan pulls away, stepping to the side of me.

"Who's the pearl, Tee?"

The guy with the shaved sides asks, his lips pulling into a small smile. _The Pearl?_ Tegan's grip around my fingers tighten and I turn to him, his lips forming a soft smile.

"Guys, this is Sara."

I turn my attention back to the group of guys and girls in front of me, a shy smile pulling at my lips.

"Sara, this guy right here is Tom. I've known him for about 10 years, he's one of my guys."

Tegan says, pointing to the guy with the shaved sides. Tom extends his hand out to me and I take it, letting out a small gasp when he pulls it up to his lips and kisses my knuckle.

"Nice to meet you, _Pearl_. If Tegan ever gives you any trouble, let me know. I'll straighten _him_ out for you."

My cheeks grow warm under everyone's gaze and I slowly pull my hand away, gently nodding my head. Tom lets out a small chuckle and I feel Tegan's fingers tighten even more, my palm starting to throb.

"Back off _mine_ , Fabio."

I hear Tegan's voice, a hint of anger laced in it. _Mine?_ Every bone in my body grows numb, a warm feeling swirling around in my stomach. _I'm his?_ I turn my head to the side and look up at him, his features giving off an annoyed expression. _No_. I slowly trace my thumb along his slender one and his features start to soften, his annoyance slowly fading away.

"Sara, this is Nick and Tawnie. Our very own Middle-School sweethearts. They never go anywhere without each other."

He says, lifting up a finger and pointing. My eyes travel in the direction of his slender index and they land on a guy and girl, both softly smiling. Nick is dressed just like every other guy here, tight pants and a jean vest. His jet black hair styled up high in a messy pompadour. Now, Tawnie. Her legs are covered in black fishnet stockings, a tight leather skirt ending mid-thigh. A black denim vest is covering her chest, patches and pins stapled all over it. Her hair? The sides are shaved, just like Tom's. Only her hair is a bright red, the tips fading into a jet black.

"Nice to meet you."

I mumble, my eyes roaming over Tawnie's hair. Tawnie lets out a soft chuckle and lifts one hand, gently running her fingers over one shaved side.

"I'm just getting used to it, too. _Nicky_ did it for me!"

She says, turning her head to the side to look up at Nick. Nick smiles and turns to her, placing a small kiss on her forehead as he softly nods his head. The thought of Tawnie's hair fades away and my lips pull into a small smile, _they look so happy together._

"These two, are Danny and Pink. Identical twins who are attached at the hip."

I send Nick and Tawnie one last smile and turn to the two standing next to them, a boy and girl. Danny is wearing red-plaid skin tight pants, black Doc's with yellow thick laces. His chest and toned stomach showing underneath a plain black vest with few patches studded onto it. His hair is short, but spiking up in every direction. Pinky, dressed the exact same way. Only two differences, one being that a white wife beater is under her vest. Two, her hair. It's cut just like Tawnies, only a patch of bangs hang to the side and the color is Pink.

"Nice to meet you, Sara."

They both say at the exact same time. My lips pull into a small smile and I let out a soft chuckle, lifting my hand and sending them a small wave. _I don't know what it is about his friends, but I feel so shy._ These are the people that Tegan loves to be around, I don't want to say anything that will mess this all up.

"What about me, fucker?"

I hear a deep voice. I turn my head to the side and my eyes land on the guy with lime green hair, his face showing a hurt expression. I hear Tegan let out a soft chuckle and the boy hops onto the bar counter, swinging his legs over and hopping down in front of me.

"Since Tegan forgot about me, I'll just introduce myself. I'm Jeremy, Tegan's right hand man."

He holds a hand out and my lips pull into a smile, my hand connecting with his in a rough shake. He smiles and turns his head to the side, his eyes instantly lighting up with excitement.

"Also, let me introduce you to my lovely lady. Babe!"

His hand slides out of my grip and I turn my head to the side, a familiar face walking towards us. _Valerie?_ Her lips curl into a big smile and she runs past me, throwing her arms around Jeremy's neck. Jeremy lets out a rough chuckle and places a small kiss on her cheek, pulling away and pointing to me.

"Babe, there's two people that I want you to meet."

Valerie pulls herself away from Jeremy and turns to us, her eyes trailing up to mine. She tilts her head to the side and squints her eyes, a bright smile forming on her lips.

"Sara?"

"Valerie?"

It's been so long since I've talked to her. _7 years, to be exact_. She takes a step forward and opens her arms, my lips curling as I step forward and untangle my hand from Tegan's, wrapping them around her. I take in a deep breath and my old best-friend slowly pulls away, tucking herself underneath Jeremy's arm.

"So, I'm guessing you two know eachother?"

I hear Tegan's voice. I take a step back and turn my head to the side, looking up at him.

"Yeah, we used to be pretty close."

He looks back to her for a second and nods, lifting his arm and resting it over my shoulder, his fingers dangling over my chest.

"Well, we haven't met. I'm Tegan, it's nice to meet the girl who's made my boy already so happy."

My eyes trail down to his hand that's hanging above my chest and his word crosses my mind. _Mine_. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and lift my hand up, gently tangling my fingers between his. His arm pushes me closer to him and I tuck my head into his shoulder, looking back at Jeremy and Valerie with a smile on my face.

"Wait a second, you're the guy who started a fight last night at Resa's party. Shit, they were mad when you left with him."

Valerie says, looking straight at me. The blood in my veins stills and my eyes grow wide, _Resa_. I lift my free hand and cover my eyes, guilt stirring in the pit of my stomach. I completely forgot about my friends. _How could I do that?_

" _Shit_. Sara, I'm sorry."

I turn my head to the side and nuzzle my face into his neck, a wave of comfort sinking into my pores. I take in a small breath and shake my head, not wanting him to feel sorry. _He shouldn't be._ They're my friends. I'm the one who left with the guy who started a fight at my best friends party. _I'm the one who should be sorry._

I feel a warm palm press against my jaw and I uncover my eyes, pulling away from his neck to look at the boy. He's looking down at me, his eyes drooped at the corner with guilt. Suddenly, all the guilt in my stomach fades away. My eyes roam over every feature of his face, the fading bruises and cuts making my lips curl into a weak smile. Him. His face. _He's worth my friends being mad._

"Don't be, Tegan. I'm where I want to be, okay?"

I whisper, only for his ears to hear. He takes in a deep breath and softly shakes his head, the guilt still there in his eyes. Without hesitation, I stand on my tip-toes and press my lips against his, my eyes instantly closing from bliss. His hand on my jaw tightens it's grip and the safe feeling surrounds me once again. _Without a doubt, this is definitely worth my friends being mad._

"They're starting to let in the line from outside, guys."

I hear Jeremy's voice. Tegan slowly pulls away and I open my eyes, a weak smile pulling at his lips. My hand tightens its grip on his and I turn my head to the side, looking at the people who are walking into the room.

"C'mon, stay close."

Tegan POV:

 _Sing me to sleep_

 _Sing me to sleep_

 _And then leave me alone_

 _Don't try to wake me in the morning_

 _'Cause I will be gone_

 _Don't feel bad for me_

 _I want you to know_

 _Deep in the cell of my heart_

 _I will feel so glad to go_

I tighten my grip around Sara's chest and lean in closer, my eyes closing as his voice bounces off the venue walls. _Steven Patrick Morrissey, my favorite voice._ I feel a pair of warm soft hands cover mine and I bring my face down into the crook of her neck, taking in a deep breath. Steven's voice fills the room once again and the image of curly red hair flashes in my mind. Every ounce of blood in my body suddenly turns cold, my muscles tensing.

 _"Babe?"_

 _I lift my head up from her strawberry scented pillow and trail my eyes to her naked body, standing in front of the record player on her dresser. My lips pull into a small smile and I sit up, leaning back on my elbows as I watch her place the needle on the record. God, how I love her._

 _"So, I found this new band. I want you to listen to them a bit, yeah?"_

 _"Alright. Who are they?"_

 _The sound of clashing bounces off the walls and my ears perk up, the beat already pulling me in. Denise turns around and jumps on to the bed, placing a foot on each side of my thighs as I let out a soft chuckle. She looks down at me and smiles, her hips swaying from side to side as a man's voice fills my ears._

 _"Fuck."_

 _I whisper, my eyes trailing up her smooth legs to the spot between her thighs that drives me insane. Her lips are still wet with her cum and my saliva, the best taste we could ever create. I sit more up and lean my body back against the headboard, watching as she waves her hands around from side to side._

 _"God, I love you."_

 _Her smile grows even more and she slowly lowers her body down, her bare ass right in my lap. My hands grip the meat on her hips and she wraps her arms around my neck, playing with the fuzz on the back of my neck._

 _"Really? Then, how come you don't let me touch you? I wanna make you feel good, too."_

 _The smile fades from her lips and she looks down at my shirt covered chest. She untangles her hand from the back of my neck and places it on my chest, my heart starting to beat fast. Shit._

 _"I told you, I'm not ready for that right now. I just wanna focus on you at the moment, okay?"_

 _I lift my hand up and wrap it around her wrist, gently pulling it off my heaving chest. She takes in a deep breath and tilts her head to the side, a fond smiling gracing her lips._

 _"You do love me, huh?"_

 _"You have no idea, baby."_

 _I whisper, leaning in and pressing my lips against her cheek. She lets out a soft giggle and I smile, leaning my head back against the headboard as my nerves ease. I know I have to tell her, but it's only been 6 months. I need her to love me before I tell her the truth, because I don't know what I would do if she couldn't handle it. I'd be hurt, and I don't want that. So, I have to wait for her to love me. Because, if she loves me . . . nothing can be enough to make her leave me._

 _"So, I like the band. Who is it?"_

 _I slowly move my hands down to her bare flesh and she chuckles, her hand going back to playing with the fuzz on the back of my neck._

 _"The Smiths. They're a band from the UK, I think."_

 _"All the best bands are, babe. Let me take the record home?"_

 _She nods and I smile, leaning in and taking her bottom lip between my teeth. A moan slips past her lips and I place one hand on her back, her grip around my neck tightening as I lean forward so she's laying down on the mattress. I shift my leg right in between hers and grab both of her hands, pinning them above her head as I pull away to look down at the moaning girl underneath me. This is a beautiful sight. I never want to forget this moment, or The Smiths._

My eyes start to sting as the memory slowly fades, the scars on my chest starting to burn. _No, not here._ I take in a deep breath and lean closer into Sara, my chest pressing into every curve of her back. I feel her soft fingers slowly rub up and down the back of my hand, the pain in my chest starting to ease. _What?_ I pull my face away from her neck and keep my body molded with hers, my eyes trailing to the side of her face. A soft smile is playing on her lips, her eyes closed. The pain in my chest comes to an end and I turn my hand around, my fingers tangling between her spaces. Her smile grows even more and I lean back down into her neck, taking in a deep breath. She doesn't smell like strawberry, not one bit. To be honest, she actually smells like me. _My bodywash?_

"Did you use my soap?"

I whisper, taking in the smell of fresh peppermint. Her fingers tighten their grip around mine and I feel her head nod. I let out a soft chuckle and close my eyes once again, leaning closer into her neck.

"Alright, guys. This is going to be our last song for the night."

I hear Steven's voice. The crowd starts to clap, whistles echoing around the whole entire room. My lips pull into a small smile, the sound of Jeremy's scream filling my ears. _This_ , is what I love about going to concerts. The sound of the crowd screaming for a band.

"Now, I want you all to put your hands up. If you know the song, sing with me."

The screaming starts to fade away and the sound of an acoustic guitar bounces off the walls. My ears perk at the familiar tune and I feel Sara's body begin to softly sway from side to side. It makes my heart stop. _I know this song._ I know this song so well.

 _Good times for a change_

 _see, the luck I've had_

 _can make a good man_

 _turn bad_

My eyes start to sting and I lean into Sara more, my cheeks growing warm from being surrounded by her body heat. _I remember the day that I first heard this song._ I sat in my Grandpa's old garage and cried at the memory of her curly red hair.

 _So please please please_

 _let me, let me, let me_

 _let me get what I want_

 _this time_

Suddenly, I feel Sara's fingers tighten their grip on mine. The memory fades away and I open my eyes, looking down at the skin of her neck. Under the red stage lights, her skin glows a beautiful pink. It's funny, because I hate that color. But, on her? Pink is now on my list of favorite colors. I squeeze her fingers gently and close my eyes once again, letting the music sink into every one of my pores.

 _Haven't had a dream in a long time_

 _see, the life I've had_

 _can make a good man bad_

Memories of her curly red hair and piercing green eyes start to flash in my mind, my heart slowly starting to race. _I don't want to think of her._ Not when I have Sara under my arm, my front pressed against her back. I take in a deep breath and the smell of fresh peppermint fills my nostrils, she's all I want to think about. Without hesitation, I press my lips against her neck and mumble my favorite words into her skin.

 _"So for once in my life_

 _let me get what I want_

 _Lord knows it would be the first time_

 _Lord knows it would be the first time"_

The guitar fades away and the crowd starts to scream, the sound of clapping echoing around the room. As much as I want to scream and clap for my favorite band with them, I can't find it in my muscles to move. For the first time in two years, I want something. I want this. I want _her_. _It scares me._ Because, if by some miracle I do get what I _want_ , it would be the first time.

* * *

I slowly push the door open and look inside the dark room, my eyes trailing down to the spot where a small ray of moonlight glows. _What?_ Instead of the normal wooden floor with thin white sheets covering it, there's a thick mattress in the middle of the room. A giant folded white blanket and two fluffy pillows at the head of it.

"Your Aunt bought you a mattress."

I hear Sara whisper, her fingers tightening their grip on mine from behind me. I take a step forward and close my eyes for a quick second, the giant fluffy mattress still sitting in the same exact spot that my sheets once took up. _My Aunt bought me a mattress._

I hear the front door shut and I gently untangle my fingers from Sara's, my feet guiding me to the _bed_. I stop right at the edge of it and look down, a small piece of paper resting on one of the two pillows. I slowly sink down to my knees and reach out for the paper, bringing it to the small ray of light as I turn it over.

 _Get some rest, I love you._

 _-Aunt Rita._

My lips pull into a weak smile and I place the paper down on the floor, my eyes trailing to the bed in front of me. _She bought me a fucking bed._ Without hesitation, I place my hands on the fluffy mattress and crawl onto it. My body sinks a little and I turn around, laying my back down on it as my head rests on a fluffy pillow. I close my eyes. _Oh_. The springs mold against every curve in my body, my muscles instantly easing. _It feels like heaven._

"Come here."

I whisper, lifting my arms open for Sara. I hear her let out a soft chuckle and then I feel the mattress dip, my muscles to weak to even let me open my eyes. Suddenly, I feel her weight on top of me, the curves in her chest resting right over my stomach. I open my eyes and look down, her head resting on my stomach, her body laying between my legs with her hands laying on each side of my thighs. My lips pull into a wide smile and I bring my hands down to my chest, lightly tapping it for her to come up. Her lips pull into a soft smile and she pushes her body up, placing her arms across my chest as she lays down on top of me, her head resting on her arms.

"I like this way more than you laying down next to me."

I whisper, folding my arms to rest my hands behind my neck. She lets out a soft chuckle and tilts her head to the side, her eyes suddenly growing heavy with a look that I've never seen before. It's like she's studying my face for the first time, her eyes are gazing.

"Has a girl ever hurt you, Tegan?"

She whispers, my heart stopping for a quick second as her words process in my mind.

"What?"

"Has a girl ever hurt you?"

The sound of her voice makes every nerve in my body rise. _Has a girl ever hurt me?_ I take in a deep breath and lay my head back down on the pillow, my eyes trailing to the ceiling as her curly red hair comes to mind. _Has a girl ever hurt me before?_ Yeah, a girl has. Mentally and physically. But, why is that question even on her mind?

"Why would you ask me something like that?"

I mumble, hoping she hears the genuine curiosity in my voice. Suddenly, I feel her weight shift. The hem of my shirt starts to slowly go up and I close my eyes, my heart racing as it stops right over my belly button.

"Because, your Aunt asked me to promise her that I would never hurt you. That I would never lay a hand on you because you're different."

I feel both of her hands rest right under each side of my rib cage, her fingers gently tracing figures over the last two ribs. _What?_ I untangle my hands from the back of my head and place them over my face, rubbing away the anger that wants to surface.

"So, I'm asking. Has a girl ever hurt you for her to make me promise that?"

The anger fades away and I open my eyes, running my fingers through my hair as my eyes starts to sting. The sound of _her_ squeaky giggle rings through my ears and I feel a warm tear leave the corner, slowly rolling down into my hair. _I'm trying so hard to forget her, why I can't I?_

"Yeah, a girl has."

Her fingers still against my skin and I lift my head from the pillow, looking down at her. She's looking up at me, her pupils blown with a look of sadness as they roam every feature on my face.

"I'm sorry that she went and asked you to promise her that. She shouldn't have done tha-"

"I already made the promise to her."

She whispers, her eyes trailing down to the patch of skin right below my rib cage. She takes in a deep breath and softly shakes her head, leaning down and pressing her lips right below my belly button. A chill runs down my spine as every hair on my body stands up, _I've never had a girl kiss any part of my body before._

"And, I wanna make that promise to you. I'm never going to hurt you."

She mumbles against my skin, letting me feel the sincerity of her words. A sharp pain hits my heart and I close my eyes for a second, feeling a brick from my wall turn to dust. _No_. I take in a small breath and reach a hand down, softly running my fingers through her long brown hair. She lifts her head from my stomach and looks up at me, her features soft.

"It's a mystery to me why anyone would hurt you."

My fingers still against her scalp and my mind trails to the wrap that's binding my chest down, the scars under it starting to itch. That wrap is covering up one of the reason's why someone would hurt me.

"It's not to me. Don't make that promise if you don't know everything about me, Sara."

I whisper, feeling my eyes start to sting with more salty water. Her eyes slowly close and she leans back down, her lips pressing a warm kiss right under my right rib cage. I take in a sharp breath as her fingers start to move again, the light brush of her eyelashes making my stomach flutter.

"I promise, Tegan. Goodnight."

She presses her lips against my skin one last time and turns her head to the side, her hands staying right under my rib cage as her cheek rests against my stomach. I lay my head back down onto the pillow and look back at the ceiling, another tear leaving the corner and rolling into my hair. I slowly move my fingers back over her scalp, brushing her hair so it falls over the side of my hip and take in a small breath. _She still promised._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter: Shout

Tegan POV:

I take in a small breath and place my keys in the pocket of my black denim vest, my eyes roaming over the green field for a familiar figure. I step up on to the concrete sidewalk and lift my hands up, running my fingers through my damp hair. _There's not one figure in sight._ Suddenly, I hear a dull squeak. I trail my eyes to the right and see a set of swings, a familiar figure in all black leaning against one of the metal poles. _Casey_.

My lips pull into a small smile as my feet move towards the swing set, my heart racing at the sight of him. For the first time in 18 years, this is the longest that we have been apart. _1 whole month._ In high-school, people thought that him and I were twins. There was never a time when you saw just one of us, it was always two. We even asked the Principal if we could have the exact same classes, it was granted only because we used a horrible excuse of Casey having severe anxiety when I'm not around. 'Til this day, we still ask ourselves how that even worked. But, now that I'm here and he's there . . . I'm starting to think that the karma for lying is coming my way. Because, I'm the one who suffers from sever anxiety now.

I stop a few feet away, noticing that his back is facing me with a cloud of smoke around his head. My smile grows as my feet start to move again, my lungs beginning to crave the burn from fresh tobacco. _He's the only one I know who grows his own supply._

"You know, you never did teach me how to grow my own?"

I stop right behind him, digging my hands into the pockets of my vest. His shoulders tense and he slowly turns around, the end of the cigarette flying to the ground with a soft flick. I trail my eyes up to look at his face, the smirk on his lips making my case of being a little _homesick_ slightly ease.

"That's because you suck at gardening."

I let out a soft chuckle and take one hand out from my pocket, holding it out for him. His smirk grows into a small smile and he lifts his hand out, tapping his knuckles against mine.

"How have you been, man? Everything good down here?"

I take in a deep breath and lift my hand up, tapping my bottom lip with my index finger. He instantly gets my gesture and reaches into his black denim vest pocket, pulling out a silver tin box. He opens the top with one hand and holds it up, my fingers grabbing the first rolled cigarette.

"Okay. You either ran out of cigarettes, or it's going to shit."

I let out a small chuckle and bring the cigarette up to my lips, reaching into my vest pocket for my familiar metal lighter. I bring it up to the tip of the tobacco stick and flip the lid back, a long beautiful flame turning the end orange as I inhale.

"Nah, none of those. I just miss your fresh supply, man."

He laughs and shakes his head, placing the closed tin box back into his vest pocket as the burn starts to settle the craving in my lungs. I keep the tobacco stick between my lips and release the smoke from my nostrils, my shoulders instantly relaxing. _He always has the best cigarettes._

"It's actually going pretty good here, though. Real good, I've got no complaints."

He nods his head and looks down at the ground, placing his hands into the pockets of his vest. The smile on his face starts to fade and my shoulders tense up once again, _something's wrong._ It worries me whenever Casey's smile disappears out of nowhere. That only happens when something's wrong.

"What about you, man? Everything good? How's Allison?"

His smile shines for a quick second at the mention of his girlfriends name, his head tilting up towards the sky.

"Allison's good, we're good."

"What's up, then? You said you needed to talk to me about something?"

He takes in a deep breath and lifts his hands, running his fingers through his gelled hair as his eyes travel back down to mine. The look in his eyes sends a chill down my spine, he looks so lost as to what he wants to say.

"Your Dad's missing, T."

Every muscle in my body tenses, my heart starting to pound so hard behind the bones in my chest. _What?_ Suddenly, a small patch of my lips begin to burn. I hiss, spitting the cigarette straight to the ground. There was only half an inch left, I forgot that I was even smoking.

"What do you mean he's _missing_?"

"He's gone, Tegan. He did a real number on your mom a few days ago, I showed up and he booked it. Hasn't come back."

I take in a deep breath and close my eyes, dropping my head down as my hands lift up to hold my head. In all honesty, I have no clue how to react right now. _I don't even know what to feel._ This is so much shit to take in. I don't know if I should be angry, worried or happy. Angry, because I just found out that my Dad beat the shit out of my mother once again. Worried, because my Dad's gone and no one knows where he is; my mom is hurt again. Or, _happy_. He's gone, nowhere near my mom. She's safe for the moment, until he comes back _. I really don't know what to feel._

I know that I'm supposed to feel a certain way towards him. I know that I shouldn't give two shits about the man who beats my mother, but that's something that I can't find in my heart to do. Growing up, I saw that same man bring my Mom breakfast in bed every Saturday morning. I saw that man struggle between two jobs to make sure he could always give my Mom what she asked for. Growing up, I saw that man be a loving husband and a caring father. _I try so hard to hate him._ He went from being the protector of this family, to hurting this family. _But, I still can't do it._ Because, even though I shouldn't . . . I still have hope in him. That's one thing that I don't have to try so hard to hate.

"How's my Mom?"

I whisper, digging my fingernails into my scalp.

"She was in the hospital for two days. A hairline fracture through her collar bone, from where he kicked her. A few cuts on her back, from a bottle shattering against her skin. And . . ."

The blood in my veins begin to boil, my hands shaking. _There's still more_. I open my eyes and lift my head up, looking straight into Casey's dull green orbs. He takes in a deep breath and his eyes are suddenly glossy, he's about to cry.

"What else?"

I whisper, my teeth grinding against each other hard. He trails his eyes away from mine and looks at the ground, slowly shaking his head.

"Your Mom was pregnant, T. Sh-she lost it."

All the blood in my body turns cold, my heart stopping instantly. _Pregnant?_ My eyes start to burn, a blink making a tear fall. _She lost it._ I close my eyes and bury my face back into the palms of my hands, tears breaking through the cracks of my eyelids. I can picture it. _I can picture her._ My Mom, sitting down on her favorite forest green love-seat with a tub of rocky road ice cream . . . her round belly catching drops of chocolate and marshmallows.

"FUCK!"

My fingers tangle into my hair, pulling at the roots. _How the fuck could I have let this happen?!_ Suddenly, I feel a warm palm press against my shoulder. A wave of slight comfort washes over me and I open my eyes, a puddle falling from each one as I lift my head to look up at Casey. He's in the same state that I am, crying with anger.

Suddenly, memories hit. Casey and I playing cops and robbers in front of his house at the age of 6. 7, our first time riding on the back of our Dad's bikes side by side. 8, when he signed up for minor league baseball at our local park and I sat on the bleachers cheering him on. So many memories. _He has always been my brother._ That thought alone, makes more puddles flow from eyes as realization hits me. I could have had a little brother, or a little sister. Someone to recreate every single one of those memories with. Another me.

"What do I do, Case? She won't come until she has a secure place to be, somewhere he won't be able to find her."

I whisper, bringing a shaky hand up to run my fingers through my hair. _I'm scared_. For once in my life, I'm scared. I never ask anyone what I should do, I never ask anyone for help. I've always been able to handle what life's thrown at me, never questioning the reasons. But, right now . . . I can't even think straight. I need help.

"How much do you have in the bank?"

He asks, sniffing away the last few tears as his features turn hard once again. _He's never been a crier._

"About eight hundred."

He takes in a deep breath and pulls his hand away from my shoulder, holding onto the hem of his denim vest. He looks down and pulls his vest back, his other handing digging into a pocket inside. The sound of paper being crumpled fills my ears as he pulls out a thick crinkled white envelope, holding it out for me to take.

"Here."

My eyes trail down to the thick envelope, almost the size of a brick in his hand. I reach a hand out and grab it, my fingers instantly opening up the flap to see what's inside. Everything in my body starts to work once again, my blood warming as if it caught on fire. All I see is green, and 4 rubber bands wrapped around 2 thick stacks of paper.

"Case."

I whisper, pushing the flap back down to cover what's inside as my fingers begin to shake.

"You two need it more than I do, Tegan."

I close my eyes and drop my head down, feeling my head spin as my eyes start to form puddles again. Not only is the feeling of fear present, but a few others are starting to rise. _Guilt_ , I know where Casey got this money from. He's been saving it in a shoe box under his bed since he found out about gender reassignment surgeries at the age of 12. _Anger_ , not being able to fix this situation all on my own like I should have. _Relief_ , knowing that my mom will finally be safe away from my Father. Then, _confusion_. What emotion should I solely be feeling at this moment?

Suddenly, I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. A wave of warmth surrounds me as his hands rub up and down my back, the smell of cigarettes and old spice cologne filling my nostrils.

"It's okay to swallow your pride and _accept_ help, Tegan."

His voice whispers, a sob suddenly escaping my throat as his words float out into the open air. I lift my hands up and wrap them around his body, our chests pressing against each others as my face buries into his neck. _He's right._ I can't be selfish anymore, this isn't for me. It's for my Mom.

"I'll pay you back, Case. I promise."

* * *

I push the door open and stand to the side, Casey slipping out through the small space with ease. I let go of the door and it slams shut, the faint sound of the bell ringing behind it as we step onto the sidewalk.

"So, when are you gonna start apartment hunting?"

Casey asks, lifting his hand up to the corner of his mouth where a drop of Ale is running down. I take in a deep breath and turn towards the busy street, the idea of having my own place to bring my mother, still not fully sinking in.

"Today. I saw this place for rent a few streets over, I think it was a back-house. I'm not sure, though."

I turn my head back to him and he nods, reaching into his vest pocket for his tin box and lighter. I hold my hand up and his lips pull into a small smile as he scoffs, opening the tin up and shaking a few into my hand. My lips curl into a smile and I gently put them into my vest pocket, leaving one out to pop between my lips. He does the same and puts his tin away, opening his lighter to a large blue flame. By nature, we both slowly move forward and stick the tips in as we inhale.

"Do you wanna come with me to check it out?"

I ask, pulling away as he closes the lid and puts it into his back pocket. He pulls the cigarette away and exhales, his nose instantly sucking it back in. _The French Inhale._

"I can't. Allison has her nursing's test tomorrow morning, she wants me there."

He turns to me, a look of guilt present in his pupils as he inhales. I smile and nod my head softly, pulling the cigarette from lips as I exhale. I trail my eyes up the empty sidewalk and they land on an old phone booth, tagging covering the windows. _Shit_.

"What time is it, Case?"

I ask, putting the cigarette back between my lips and inhaling. He lifts his hand up, his black Casio watch shining underneath the sunlight.

"11:15. Why?"

 _Sara_.

"I gotta make a phone call."

He takes his cigarette from his lips and exhales, nodding his head for me to go. I send him a quick smile and walk over to the phone booth, stopping as I notice that the glass door is missing. I toss my cigarette to the floor and step inside, the sound of glass crushing underneath my boots as I pick up the phone and dig in my vest pocket for some change. I push a quarter into the small slot and dial the number to my house, my Aunt picking up on the third ring.

 _"Hello?"_

"It's Tegan."

I turn my body around and look out at the busy street, my body leaning against the dirty window.

 _"Hey, Honey. Where are you?"_

She asks, her voice slightly hushed. I take in a deep breath and look to the side, Casey's figure slowly coming towards me. He leans on the frame of the booth and looks at me, tilting his towards the phone in asking.

"Still in town. I had to do a few things, but I'll be home soon."

The word _home_ makes Casey's lips pull into a small weak smile. I trail my eyes down to the ground and chunks of glass are stuck to the souls of my shoes.

 _"Okay, do you know what time?"_

"1 o'clock, the latest. Is Sara awake?"

I ask, taking my bottom lip between my teeth. I trail my eyes over to Casey and he has his brows raised, a small smirk forming on his lips.

 _"Yeah, she just woke up a few minutes ago. But, quick question?"_

I turn away from Casey and look down at the phone box, my fingers digging into my pocket for more change. I slip another quarter in and lean back, trailing my eyes up to the dirty ceiling.

"Yeah?"

 _"Did you take my Polaroid out? I found it on my dresser this morning and I was just wondering, because I don't-"_

I look back down at the phone box and my hand slowly moves down to the butt pocket of my jeans, my aunt's voice rambling too fast for me to even comprehend. My fingers pull my wallet up and I open it, grabbing the thick piece of photo paper that's resting with a few bills. My eyes travel over the black and white photo, my pupils blossoming as her sleeping face takes me back to this morning.

I didn't want to move. In fact, I was completely content with just laying there. Her warm skin was pressed against mine, her head laid on my chest with her hair sprawled out all over my arm. I managed to run my fingers through a few strands, just listening to her breathe softly. Then the phone rang, and it was the only thing I could listen to. When I had to leave, she was still asleep. She was flat on her stomach, her head turned to the side with some of her hair falling over her face. I couldn't help but study her. Her full lips, that I'm always yearning to kiss. Those beautiful eyes, framed by thick-long lashes. Thin strong brows that are so expressive. Everything about her makes me want to commit her to memory, to burn her face into my mind so I can remember it just like this, maybe forever? That's why I took her picture, because even though her face will never leave my mind . . . I still need to _see_ it.

"I was in such a rush to leave that I forgot to put it back, I'm sorry."

I whisper, my thumb softly running over the picture.

 _"It's okay, I just wanted to make sure. Well, she'll be here when you get home. Love you, be safe."_

"I love you, too. Tell her I'll be there soon."

I pull the phone away from my ear and put it back on the clip, looking back down at the picture in my hand. _I really wish that I didn't have to leave you this morning._

"So, when were you going to tell me about this girl?"

I hear Casey's voice. My lips pull into a soft smile and I turn towards him, the smirk on his face being sharp. I take in a small breath and take a step towards him, looking out at the street.

"I was hoping to keep her all to myself for a little while, but that isn't exactly working out."

I say, letting out a soft chuckle. Casey smirks and I step out of the booth, turning to the right where both of our bikes are parked right in front of Bob's shop.

"We don't keep anything to ourselves in this family, you already know that. Does Mom like her?"

Our feet slowly move across the concrete sidewalk, my hands pushing my wallet and picture into my vest pocket as he exhales a cloud of smoke into the air.

"She's still a little off about it, but I can tell that she likes her."

Casey nods and pulls his cigarette from his lips, holding it out for me. I reach for it and pop it between mine, inhaling slowly.

"That's good. I'm guessing that the girl took the _news_ pretty well, then?"

I trail my eyes back to the ground and exhale the smoke from my nose, feeling a tingle run through my body as it leaves.

"She doesn't know."

I whisper, my lips holding the cigarette tightly in place. Casey lets out a small sigh and lifts his hands, running his fingers through his hair. We stop right in front of our bikes and he turns to me, cocking his head to the side as his eyes squint from the sun.

"You plan on telling her anytime soon?"

I inhale and pluck the stick from my lips, holding it out for him to take. He takes it from my fingers and I feel my chest start to tighten, my healing scars starting to burn. I pull my arm up and cross it over my chest, the pressure making them slightly ease.

"Yeah, I am. Just trying to figure out exactly when, that's all."

Casey nods and I drop my hand, pushing it back into my pocket. He puts the fag between his lips and holds a hand up, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Well, let me see her."

The pain in my chest fades as my fingers grip the picture and pull it out from my pocket. He takes it from me and pulls it up close, nodding as his eyes rake over her.

"She's pretty, man. Long hair, huh?"

"Yeah, strops a few iches before her waist."

He smiles and hands me back the picture. I take my wallet out and put it back in it's place, shoving it back into my butt pocket.

"Can't wait to meet her. I gotta get going, though. Call me once you've settled somewhere, yeah?"

He reaches into his vest pocket and takes out his keys, putting one in the key slot on his bike.

"I will. Come down in a few, though."

He nods, taking a few steps towards his bike and throwing a leg over, climbing on gracefully. With the twist of a key and a kick of a leg, his engine roars to life. My eyes trail down to his 1978 Cherry Red Harley Davidson, watching as he kicks the peg down and slowly backs up with his feet. He turns towards the road and then turns his head to me, smiling as he takes off. I lift my hand really quick at his shrinking figure and walk to my bike, throwing my leg over as I reach into my butt pocket for my keys. I pull them out stop for a quick second, looking back at Bob's closed up shop with a weak smile.

 _As soon as I find a place, everything will be okay._

Sara POV:

I trail my eyes to the clock that's hanging above the door frame and let out a small sigh, I have to be home in a bit or else my parents are going to call Resa's parents. I look down at the new bowl of fruit in the center of the kitchen table and reach for an apple, my stomach starting to growl.

"Morning, Darlin'. Want some breakfast?"

I hear a familiar voice. I turn my head to the side and Aunt Rita is there, leaning against the stove with her wet hair dripping onto her shirt. My stomach lets out a growl and she lets out a small chuckle, nodding her head as my cheeks grow warm.

"Aunt Rita?"

"Yeah, Darlin'?"

She says, taking aluminum foil off of a glass dish on top of the stove. I turn back towards the bowl of fruit and place the apple back into the bowl, taking my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Where's Tegan?"

The sound of a plate setting down onto the wooden counter top makes my fingers tap against the table, wanting to know why I wasn't curled around him when I woke up this morning.

"I just got off the phone with him a while ago, said he had some business to take care of in town. He should be back by 1 o'clock, the latest."

 _Oh_. I take in a deep breath and lift my hand, running my fingers through my long-tangeled hair. I have to be home by 12 o'clock. It's 11:30. Suddenly, I hear a button pop and a slow mexican melody fills the room. I turn my head to the side and Aunt Rita is pouring orange juice into two glasses, her hips slightly swaying to the beat as her voice echo's with the woman's in the song.

 _"Tanto tiempo disfrutamos de este amor_

 _Nuestras almas se acercaron tanto así_

 _Que yo guardo tu sabor_

 _pero tu llevas tambien_

 _sabor a mí"_

My pupils grow as she turns around and walks towards me, a plate in one hand and two glasses in the other. She sets the plate down in front of me and pulls out the chair across from me, sitting down.

" _Si negaras mi presencia en tu vivir_

 _bastaría con abrazarte y conversar_

 _Tanta vida yo te di_

 _que por fuerza tienes ya_

 _sabor a mí"_

She lifts the glass of orange juice up to her lips and takes a sip, her eyes closing as her slowly sways from one side to another. My lips pull into a weak smile, confusion starting to sink in. From the way she dresses to the way she describes her biker family, I never would have known that she likes Mexican music. _It surprises me._

 _"No pretendo ser tu dueño_

 _No soy nada yo no tengo vanidad_

 _De mi vida doy lo bueno_

 _Soy tan pobre, que otra cosa puedo dar"_

The words leave her tongue so soft, you would think that Spanish is her native language. And, even though I don't understand what the song is saying . . . it's so soothing to hear. A warm tingle runs down my spine as she leans back in her chair, lifting her hands to run her fingers through her wet blonde hair. Suddenly, the woman's voice fills the air but Aunt Rita's doesn't. Instead, she hums along to the words; her mouth slowly forming a small weak smile.

"This song is beautiful."

I whisper, watching as Aunt Rita's eyes slowly open. She turns to me and her smile grows, her head slowly nodding in agreement.

"It is. You speak spanish?"

She asks, bringing her hair all to one side and separating it into three parts. She begins to gracefully cross them over each other, a beautiful long braid forming.

"No, but I can see that you do."

The smile on her face grows even more as she lets go of her lose braid and leans towards the table, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah. When I met Odilon, he said that I had to learn so I could talk to my future in-laws. Took my a whole two years."

She scoffs, slowly shaking her head with a smirk on her lips. I let out a soft chuckle and she takes in a deep breath, leaning back against her chair as her shoulders relax.

"Then when our _boys_ came along, Helen and I taught them spanish too. But, they rarely speak it. From what I've seen, they only speak it when the time calls for it."

My lips softly curl into a small smile, the sound of spanish words being touched by Tegan's voice . . . it must be the most soothing thing to hear. Aunt Rita clears her throat and I trail my eyes back up to hers, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"I didn't know that about him."

I whisper, trailing my eyes back down to the plate in front of me. I reach for my fork and stab a piece of egg that's mixed with bacon, humming the second it enters my mouth.

"There's a lot that you don't know about him, Sara. Like I said, our boys are very different."

I swallow the chunks of food and rest my fork down, tilting my head back towards her. This is the second time that she's said that. _Different_? How is he different? He's an 18 year old boy. He drives a motorcycle that he built from an old shell. He doesn't mind being beaten like a punching bag. His music taste is like an unknown blossoming flower to me. And, he has tattoos. _He's different from most people around here, I'll admit that._ Doesn't mean that he's not normal, though.

"You seem sweet, Sara. I hope you stay that way when you learn everything about him."

"Of course. Whatever he tells me, I won't ever look at him any differently."

Her lips curl into a small weak smile and it makes my mind travel to last night. She tells me this because she's worried about Tegan. She's worried that I will hurt him just like that last girl.

"Aunt Rita, can I ask you something?"

She nods her head in approval and I bring both of my hands down to my lap, tangling my fingers together as nerves rise.

"Why did a girl hurt Tegan?"

My words make her eyes grow a little, her shoulders intantly tensing as I stare at her for an answer. It's something that I don't think I will ever get over. I can't picture Tegan standing still with a girl's fist slaming against his face.

"I don't think that's for me to say, Sara."

"Please? I feel like he'll never tell me."

She takes in a sharp breath and chews on her bottom lip, softly shaking her head. My toes start to curl with anticipation, this was all I could think about last night. With his mouth letting out soft snores, I ran my fingers across the skin that covers his ribs. I remember asking myself how anyone could ever leave such ugly marks on it. How anyone could stand there and take a beating without fighting back. I fell asleep so hurt and confused last night.

"She didn't like Tegan for who _he_ really was, Sara. She loved him, but couldn't handle him being different. So, she decided that she would make him _exactly_ what she thought he was. That's all I can tell you, darlin'."

That doesn't answer anything for me, it just makes me more confused. I let out a small sigh and turn my head towards the clock on the wall, 11:40. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and turn back to Aunt Rita, her eyes on me with a raised brow.

"You've looked at that clock twice in the past 10 minutes. Everything okay?"

She asks,tilting her head to the side.

"I have to be home by noon. I don't want my parents to call Resa, because she'll tell them that I'm not there."

"Is Resa your friend?"

Aunt Rita asks, lifting a hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear. I trail my eyes down to the plate in front of me, shrugging my shoulders.

"I left her party with the boy who started a fight in her house, so I don't know exactly if she is or isn't right now."

Aunt Rita takes in a deep breath and nods, a look of understanding sketched in her features.

"Well, I'll give you a ride home. Grab your stuff and I'll meet you outside."

She says, pushing her body off of the chair and walking to the kicthen counter. She picks up a set of keys that are hanging from a nail and turns to me, sending me a small smile before she walks into the living room. I hear the front open and I push my chair back, standing up and looking around.

I've been in this little house for a few days, but I like it so much more than mine. The feeling of warmth and security is something that I've never felt in my own home, but I feel it here. Whether it's because of Tegan or not, I want so badly to stay.

I let out a small sigh and push my chair in, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. I trail my eyes down to the bed that's in the middle of the room and memories of last night flood my mind. Even though I was hurt and confused, the fact that I slept with him under me all night made everything okay. The feeling of his warm chest is now my favorite pillow.

I let out a small sigh and walk over to the front door, turning my body around to take one last look at the place that has made me feel so safe. I blink and Tegan's figure appears, his body stretched out over the mattress with his hands folded behind his head, his eyes on mine as his lips curl into a small smile. It makes my heart skip a beat, another blink making him disappear.

"Bye, Tegan."


	9. Chapter 9

**_ENJOY & Review!_** Happy Holidays, Everyone!

Chapter 9: Simple Man

Sara POV:

I lift my hands up and run my fingers through my wet hair, pushing it all to one side as I look down at my U.S History textbook in frustration. I've been stuck on the same question for the last 25 minutes and I still can't seem to find the answer. I take in a deep breath and close the book, pushing it down to the end of my bed with a small stack of paper right on top of it. _I need a break._

I lean back and rest my head on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling as thoughts fill my mind. Today wasn't exactly good, it was pretty much the opposite. As soon as I stepped on to the school's grounds, every person turned and gave me a dirty look. I walked past everyone with my head down, only my eyes up to look for three people. It wasn't until lunch that I found them, all sitting at our table with smiles on their faces. Every one of their smiles fell the moment I walked up to them, Resa turning her head away from me when I said her name. I sat outside for lunch today, under a small tree near the back of the campus.

My eyes start to burn and I close them, lifting a hand to run through my hair. _It was all worth it, though._ As much as I want to feel some type of shame for choosing a boy over my own friends, I can't. I have felt more with him in the past month than I have ever felt in my 17 years of life. Nervous, yet so excited. Nervous, because I wonder what else I will lose because of him. Then, excited. Excited, because I feel like he will show me a world beyond the only one that I know.

My lips curl into a small smile and I open my eyes, _he's definitely worth it._ Suddenly, I hear the sound of tires coming to a halt. I push my body up from my mattress and sit straight, trailing my eyes over to my open window. The sound of heavy rock music fills my ears for a quick second and I hear a door slam shut, my body growing curious and climbing off the bed.

"Shit."

I hear someone faintly whisper. I tilt my head to the side and slowly walk to the window, a cool breeze sinking into my pores as I look down. A bundle of nerves begin to form in the center of my stomach as my eyes land on a black and white Volkswagen Van parked under the dim streetlight. My eyes catch a glimpse of a black walking figure and I look down, the nerves in my stomach exploding as his face becomes clear under the glow of my room light.

"Tegan?"

He lifts his gaze up from the ground and looks at me, his eyes twinkling as his lips curl into a soft smile. My eyes trail down his slim figure, taking in his black tight jeans and white t-shirt with a light blue denim jacket covering his arms; patches pinned to the material with small silver spikes. _He's so handsome._

"I was looking for a rock to throw at your window."

He says, his voice hushed. I take in a short breath at the sound of his voice and take my bottom lip between my teeth, feeling my insides melt.

"What are you doing here?"

I ask, my lips curling into a shy smile. He lifts his hands up and runs his fingers through his hair, the sound of faint music echoing in the open air.

"Jeremy told me that you guys don't have school tomorrow?"

He asks, licking his bottom lip with curiosity. My breath hitches for a second and I stand up straight, slowly shaking my head.

"No, we don't. The teachers are protesting for better medical benefits."

Tegan's face scrunches up in confusion and I let out a soft chuckle, tilting my head to the side as I look down at him. His features relax into a soft smile and I take my bottom lip back between my teeth, watching as his smile grows the more I look without blinking.

"Get dressed, we're going somewhere."

His voice is low, the roughness in it making my heart skip a beat. The music suddenly grows louder and I trail my eyes over to the van that's parked under the street light, a familiar face with lime green hair poking his head out. _Jeremy_. He lifts a hand up into the air and waves, smiling at me from afar. I let out a soft chuckle and look back down to the boy under my window, his head tilted to the side with a smile on his lips as he waits for an answer. _How can I say no?_

"Give me five minutes."

"Do you know how to get down without getting hurt?"

He asks, trailing his eyes to the ground.

"My parents aren't home, so I can use the front door."

His lips pull into a soft smile and he whispers an okay, turning his body around as he walks back to the the van. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and chew on it, turning around to look straight at my closet across the room. Suddenly, nerves surface. _I have no clue what to wear._ I walk over to the hanging clothes and take in a short breath, my fingers moving hangers from left to right. My eyes land on a burgundy scrub like shirt, an outfit instantly forming in my head. I peel it from the hanger and walk over to my bed, setting it down as my fingers pull off my tank top. With my black bra still in place, I pull the burgundy shirt on and fold each sleeve once before unbuttoning my black skin tight jeans. I walk over to the mirror in the corner of my room and slowly tuck my shirt in, pulling it up a little from my shoulders to give it the hanging effect.

"Shoes?"

I whisper, turning back to my closet. My black jelly's shine under the light and I grab them, slipping them on quickly as I walk over to the small night stand by my bed. My teeth grab onto the skin of my cheek as I grab a set of black and burgundy chopsticks, pushing them into my back pocket while my feet make their way towards my open bedroom door. I step out into the hallway and grab the knob, quickly shutting it behind me.

My stomach begins to twist with anticipation as I slowly make my way to the stairs at the end of the hallway, a single nerve exploding with each step I take. _It's been two days since I've seen him._ Two days. To some, most would say that that's a short time to be without someone. That that's not enough time away to make someone suffer. Well, for me it was. I missed him the moment that I stepped foot into my own home. _To say that I'm excited to see him, is definitely and understatement._

I slowly make my way over to the mail rack that's hanging above the entry way desk and reach for my silver chain that's hanging on a hook, my silver house key dangling from it. I slip it over my head and squeak as the cold metal touches my warm skin, my fingers softly pulling my hair over the chain. The key settles right above the lining of my cleavage and I grab the doorknob, twisting it open and stepping outside into the fresh air. My eyes trail over to the shaking van and I let the door shut, hearing it lock into place as my feet move across our freshly cut grass. With each step I take, the music in the van becomes louder. I stop a few feet from the door and lift a hand, tapping my palm against it. The music suddenly lowers and the door opens, my eyes growing wide with wonder as they look inside. Familiar faces are sitting on the floor, their backs against the wall as they look up at me with wide smiles. But, I can't find the only familiar face I really want to see.

"Hi."

I say, my voice shaking with nerves. Tom lets out a small chuckle and sits up straight, his french braided hair coming into view as he holds a hand out for me to take. I reach out for his hand and everyone says a quick hello, turning back to their partners as I climb inside.

"Where's Tegan?"

I whisper, hearing the door slam shut behind me. Tom turns his head towards the front of the van and I turn, my heart jolting as they land on a pair of dark eyes. He's sitting in the drivers seat, his head turned to me with a small smile on his face.

"You're gonna sit up here, with me. I don't trust Tom with you."

He says, trailing his eyes down to the guy in front of me. I hear a few people laugh behind me and I softly wiggle my fingers out of Tom's grip, making my way to the front of the van. I stop right between the two seats and Tegan sits back, his hand lifting up to rest his fingers on the back of my thigh. A tingle runs down my spine as he lifts his head, eyes softly growing wide as he looks up at me.

"Hi."

I whisper, my pupils blossoming as they look into his. His lips slowly pull into a small smile and I feel my stomach twirl, my nerves rising as I lean down and press my lips against his. My eyes close for a second, my head spinning as his grip on my thigh tightens. _I could stay like this forever._

"Hi."

He whispers against my lips, making me slowly pull away. He takes in a deep breath and I let out a soft chuckle, turning to the side as I sit in the passengers seat. His fingers disappear from my thigh and I reach back for my seat belt, locking it in place as I look up at him.

"Can you do me a favor?"

He asks, his fingers turning the key in the ignition as he looks at me. The engine roars to life and the car starts to rattle, my head nodding.

"Inside the glove compartment, there's a bunch of tapes. Grab one and put it in, yeah?"

I tear my eyes away from him and look at the small compartment in front of me, my fingers reaching out to pull the handle up. The door falls down and I jump, hearing a small chuckle from the boy beside me. My lips pull into a shy smile and I look into the dimly lit drawer, my eyes scanning over the scattered tapes. I reach inside and grab the first one on the stack, leaving the drawer open as I trail my eyes over to the tape player. I flip the tape around and gently push it in, feeling the car slowly move.

"I don't know what tape I put in."

I turn my head to the side, looking at the boy across from me. His eyes trail away from the empty road and he turns to me, his lips curling into a small smile as his fingers loosely grip the large steering wheel.

"Don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure all of us will know it, most of Jeremy's tape collection consist of tapes we all have given him."

He laughs, eyes trailing back to the road in front of us. My lips pull into a soft smile as the sound of a rough guitar plays low on the speakers. Tegan's lips start to softly curl up as his hand reaches forward and turns a small knob, the now steady rhythym getting lowder.

"I gave him this tape. It's Night Prowler, an AC/DC classic."

I let out a gentle scoff in amazement, my eyes softening as they watch his relaxed figure behind the wheel. He only had to hear the first two cords in the song to know what song it was and who sings it. _I'm slowly noticing how much music means to him._

"What does AC/DC stand for?"

I ask, tilting my head to the side as he turns to me for a quick second. His eyes focus back on the road and he sits back, lifting his knees to the bottom of the steering wheel as his hands rise to run his rough fingers through his silky hair.

"AC stands for alternating current, DC stands for direct current. Fits perfectly since they use nothing but electric guitars."

He says, resting his hands on his knees as he turns to me. My eyes grow wide and I trail them back to the open road in front of us, not a car in sight as we travel down the dark freeway. A small ounce of relief sinks down to the pit of my stomach and I trail my eyes to the boy in the drivers seat. His eyes are now back on the road, hands still in place as his knees slowly move from side to side every few seconds. Suddenly, it hits. _This is the first time that I've seen him drive an actual car._

I've only been on the back of his bike a few times, but I already miss it. At first, the sight of it scared me. How he can so easily keep his balance with every turn he makes. It made my body shake. But, now. _God_. I love his bike. The sound of his engine, so smooth every time it purrs to life. How his black and chrome shine underneath the sun. How close I get to be when I'm behind him, my arms around his waste while my head rests on his shoulder. How his scent of cigarettes is the only thing I can smell when nothing but wind surrounds us. How his hand sometimes comes to rest over mine, gentle squeezes silently telling me that everything is okay. _I miss his bike very much._

"Would it make you feel more comfortable if I put both of my hands back on the wheel?"

I blink my thoughts away and take in a small breath, Tegan's eyes on mine with a small smirk pulling at his lips. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and trail my eyes down to the hands in his lap, his fingers gently tapping along with the beat playing through the speakers. It makes my heart warm. If this situation was with someone else, I would have already asked them to please put their hands back on the wheel. But, with Tegan . . . I trust him. Not just because he's been riding a motorcycle since he was 12 years old, but because I feel like he won't do anything unless I'm safe and feel comfortable.

"No, I trust you."

His eyes grow wide as the smirk on his lips grows into a smile, making my heart race. He turns his attention back to the road and lifts his hand, flicking the right blinker as his knees slowly turn the wheel to the right. I let out a soft chuckle and turn my head towards the window, catching the letters on a green sign as we exit the freeway. _Venice Boardwalk._

"When we get there, you're gonna meet Francis. Tom's girlfriend."

I hear Tegan's voice. I turn my head to the side and he has both of his hands on the wheel, turning left into a nearly empty parking lot.

"How long have they been together?"

I ask, trailing my eyes back to the lot. I hear Tegan take in short breath as he passes the parking spaces and heads towards the sand.

"About 4 years, I think? Tom, how long have you and Fran been together?"

He shouts, leaning back a little as we drive into the sand. The car shakes from side to side and my nerves start to form, eyes growing wide as a they come across an already parking van in the sand.

"It'll be 5 years in two months."

I hear Tom shout from the back, the van starting to slow down as we get closer to the parked blue and white Volkswagen. My nerves start to ease as the bumps begin to ease out, the voices in the back growing louder in excitement at the mention of Tom's girlfriend, Francis.

"Yeah, they've been together for pretty long. Tawnie and Nick pass them, though, 7 years."

"And 1 month!"

I hear Nick's voice. A few giggles erupt from the bodies behind us and I trail my eyes to Tegan, his eyes already on me with a small smile on his face. I take my bottom lip between my teeth as my cheeks grow warm and turn my head to my window, watching as we slowly come to a stop in front of the van. The engine dies and the van softly shakes as the back door slides open, bodies climbing out onto the sand.

"Hey."

My heart skips a beat at the sound of his low, yet rough voice. I take in a deep breath and turn my head towards the boy, feeling my body shudder under his soft gaze. His body is slightly turned towards me, his legs crossed under the steering wheel as his head leans against the head rest. _Everything and anything this boy does, I seem to find perfect._

"C'mon."

He says, lifting his head as he sits up straight in his seat. My lips curl into a nervous smile and he moves up from his chair, hunched over as he lifts a hand out for me to take. _There's no more hesitation with him._ I lift my hand and place it in his, my palm instantly tingling as it presses against his; fingers curling in a gentle grip as a shock shoots through my body. _I want to hold his hand forever._

He turns to the back of the bus and I lift myself up from my chair, hunching over as he carefully leads us to the opening of the van. His hand tightens around mine as he slowly climbs out of the van, his boots kicking sand as he turns around to me.

"The sands pretty cold and you're wearing flats. Get on."

He says, a smug grin forming on his face as he turns back around and lifts his arms. I let out a soft chuckle and softly shake my head, nerves forming in the pit of my stomach as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"If you drop me, I get to flick your nose."

I whisper, leaning my chest up against his back. Suddenly, I feel a pair of warm hands wrap around my thighs. I tighten my grip around his neck and let him pull my legs off of the van floor, a whimper leaving my lips as my legs wrap around his sturdy form.

"Out of all the things to hurt on my body, you pick my nose?"

He says, my ankles locking together as his boots softly kick through the sand. Suddenly, I feel his hands loosen their grips and slowly move up the back of my thighs. They stop right under the pockets of my butt and I feel my stomach grow warm, my head leaning down to rest on his shoulder.

"The sand being cold was just an excuse for you to hold me, huh?"

I whisper, turning my head to the side as my eyes look up at his profile. His eyes stare straight ahead as the smug grin on his face turns into an amused smirk, his cheeks turning a faint red color.

"I thought you wouldn't pick up on it."

He lets out a soft chuckle as his fingers squeeze the clothed flesh under my butt pockets. A nervous squeal leaves my lips and I turn my face into his neck, burying my cheeks between his collar bone and jaw as his laugh echoes through my ears.

"Well, I did."

I whisper, lifting my head up from the warmth of his neck. Tegan slowly steps around the blue Volkswagen and I trail my eyes to the scene in front. Bodies sit around a large fire, most of them cuddled up to the person that's sitting right next to them. Beer bottles are scattered around each person and a few have dark smoke clouds lingering right above their heads. I take in a short breath and feel Tegan's fingers softly rub against my jean covered thighs, my nerves slightly fading with every touch.

"Fran, where's your guitar?"

Tegan's voice echoes through the open air. My eyes skim over to the couple with their backs to us, Tom's slouching shoulders tensing as the girl next to him lifts her head from his shoulder. She turns her body to the side and my muscles tighten around Tegan's neck, Francis' face making my stomach turn.

Long wavy black hair frames her slender face, skin glowing orange under the light of the fire _. Under sunlight, her skin has to be the color of ivory_. Thick long lashes kiss her prominent cheek bones with every single blink, her plump heart shaped lips are covered in bright red lip-stick. _This girl is beyond beautiful._

"Tom already has it. Come sit with us, I wanna meet _Pearl_."

She says, her voice making my skin crawl with goosebumps. _Even her voice is beautiful._ Soft and sweet, yet loud enough for her to be heard a mile away. Her eyes trail from the boy in my arms to me, a sense of possessiveness washing over me when she looks back at Tegan. I wrap my arms tighter around _my_ boy's neck as he drags his feet across the sand, stopping right in the vacant spot next to the two. Tegan's grip on my thighs tighten and he slowly lowers himself onto the ground, a chill running up my spine as my butt touches the cold sand. Tegan stays in place between my legs and I loosen my arms around his neck, feeling his hand rest on my thighs as we both turn to the couple next to us. _Up close, she's even more beautiful._ Her eyes are an ocean of baby blue, framed by a thick strip of cat eye eye-liner.

" _Babe_ , this is Francis. Francis, Sara."

I hear Tegan's voice, my heart stopping at the first word. I trail my eyes to the side and stare up at the boy between my legs, every feeling and thought leaving my head except for one word. _Babe_. Tegan turns his head to me and trails his eyes down to mine, the weak smile on his face making my insides melt.

"Nice to meet you, Sara."

I take my bottom lip between my teeth and turn my head to the couple in front of us, a small smile forming on Francis' face as my cheeks turn a bright red. A small giggle leaves the girls lips and I drop my head down, looking at the cold sand beneath me as my stomach fills with butterflies. _He called me babe._

"T, do you wanna pick or me?"

I hear Toms voice. I lift my head and look up at the couple across from us, a guitar being held up in the air as he looks at Tegan. I turn my head to the side and Tegan lets out a soft chuckle, one hand reaching out for the wooden instrument as his other hand reaches inside the pocket of his denim jacket. He sets the guitar down on his thigh and slowly crosses his legs, pulling out a black guitar pick.

"You play the guitar?"

I ask, watching as his fingers travel to the knobs at the top. His other fingers begin to softly strum as the ones on the top slowly turn the wooden knobs, soft tunes filling the open air.

"A little. My grandpa taught me when I was a kid."

Tegan says, his eyes focused on the knobs. My lips pull into a weak smile as he contunies to tune the instrument, the people around us going back to their conversations. Suddenly, I hear all the strings hum, a beautiful ring lingering in the air as everyone stops talking. A soft and steady beat fills the open air and I lean forward, pressing my chest against his back as my chin rests on his shoulder; eyes growing wide with amazment at how graceful his fingers move.

 _"Mama told me, when I was young_

 _Come sit beside me, my only son_

 _And listen closely to what I say_

 _And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day'"_

Tom's voice echoes, Tegan's fingers starting to strum fast, the beat getting rougher each second. Suddenly, I hear soft claps. I lift my head and look at the people sitting all around us, their heads swaying from side to side as their hands gently hit their thighs, the beat becoming more detailed as Tegans fingers slow down.

 _"'Oh take your time, don't live too fast_

 _Troubles will come and they will pass_

 _You'll find a woman and you'll find love_

 _And don't forget, son, there is someone up above'"_

My eyes close as I feel Tegans body shake, his strumming growing rougher again as the clapping picks up.

 _"'And be a simple kind of man_

 _Oh, be something you love and understand_

 _Baby be a simple kind of man_

 _Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can'"_

I slowly open my eyes and trail them down the guitar in Tegan's lap, watching as his wrist flicks up and down. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and move my eyes up, taking in his face as he plays. The pit of my stomach twists as it lands on his features, his eyes shut as he tilts his head back. Tom's voice starts to ring through my ears, but I can't seem to really pay attention to the words. _I'm too lost at the sight of the boy in front of me._

Suddenly, Tegan lifts his head and his hand stills above the strings. I lift my chin up from his shoulder in confusion and his jaw clenches, his nostrils flaring as he takes in a deep breath. He sets the guitar down on the patch of sand in front of him and turns his head to me, but his eyes travel behind me. The soft look in his eyes fades instantly, his black pupils swallowing hazel in less than a second.

"Tegan?"

I whisper, hearing everyone around us begin to speak low. I feel his warm hand wrap around my wrist and I turn my head to the side, fallowing his gaze. _What is he looking at?_ My eyes skim over the sand and they land on a group of moving figures, all dressed in black and all walking towards us.

"Look at me, Sara."

His voice is low and demanding, making me turn back to him as a chill runs down my spine. His eyes burn holes into my skin as his chest heaves, making my skin crawl with nerves. _What's going on?_

"There's a knife in my back pocket, okay?"

He whispers, his eyes growing as they travel over the features of my face. My heart stops. _A knife?_ His grip around my wrist tightens and he slowly rises up from the ground, pulling me up with him. A lump forms in my throat as he slowly pulls me to the side, the sound of foreign voices approaching.

"Get it, Sara."

He whispers, my body being pushed behind his. My chest presses against his back and I trail my eyes to the figures, only a few feet away from us. They're dressed just like the people surrounding us, jean jackets with patches and giant black boots that make the sand jump with every stomp.

"Sara."

I hear Tegan whisper, his rough voice making my stomach turn. _The knife, right._ I take in a deep breath and move a step back, looking down at the space between us. My hand slowly shakes as I reach out to his back pocket, my fingers slipping in and touching cold metal. It makes my body jump.

"Only use it if I can't protect you."

I hear the boy in front of me say, his shoulders tensing as the group stops in front of us. I gasp at his words, feeling my body start to shake. _If he can't protect me?_ The boys in front of us all stand tall, their hands shoved into their pockets as a girl stands behind each and every one of them. I trail my eyes to the guy in the front, his eyes traveling from left to right as the smirk on his face grows.

"You guys are pretty much asking for your asses to get beat."

The guy says, poking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. A lump forms in my throat and I trail my eyes over to the girl behind him, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as she looks at me. _She doesn't even look scared._ I feel Tegan's grip around my wrist loosen and I wrap my fingers around the cold metal, pulling it out.

"Fucking grow up already, Ace. This shit's getting old."

I hear Francis' voice. My eyes grow wide as I turn my head to the side, looking at the couple next to us in fear. Fran's standing behind Tom, one hand dangling to the side as the other rests in Tom's back pocket. _Just like I am._ The only thing that's different, is she doesn't look scared. I trail my eyes back to the people behind us and feel my nerves slightly ease at them. Each girl is standing behind their guy, one arm dangling while the other is behind their mans back. _Are they all holding a knife?_

"Your bitch still has a mouth on her, Tom."

I hear the other guys voice, my chest starting to heave. _Oh my god._ Tom's eyes grow dark and he takes a step forward, Fran's hand coming up to his chest to hold him back. Without hesitation, he stays in place. His jaw clenches as Fran softly rubs her hand against his chest, silently calming him from doing something he'll most likely regret.

"You're still mad that it's not _on_ you, Ace?"

I hear Tegan's voice, my lungs closing up instantly. I turn my head to the side and feel Tegan's grip disappear from my wrist, his arms coming up to cross over his chest.

"Tegan."

I whimper, not wanting him to speak another word. I trail my eyes over to the guy and feel my insides warm, his eyes burning holes into Tegan's as the smirk fades from his lips.

"It's been 5 years man, let it go."

Tegan says, his voice teasing. Ace scoffs, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he trails his eyes over to mine. I swallow the puddle of saliva that's forming in my mouth and press my chest back into Tegan's back, feeling my heart thump.

"Who's the girl, Tegan?"

He asks, taking a step forward. I feel Tegan's body tense and I bring my hand up to his back, fisting his shirt between my fingers as a wave of fear sinks in. _Why me?_

"She's doesn't look like your type, man. She doesn't have red curly hair, or freckles. I mean, you went from beautiful emerald green eyes to . . . shit brown ey-"

"Shut the fuck up, Ace!"

Tegan shouts, my grip on his shirt slipping as he lunges forward. My heart stops beating as Tegan grabs the guys collar, throwing him to the ground.

"RUMBLE!"

I hear voices shout, my body shaking as Tegan pulls his fist back and collides it with Ace's face. They quickly disappear behind a black blanket and I lift my head up, my eyes growing wide as bodies run toward us.

"SARA!"

I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and my body jolts to the side, a familiar frame standing in front of me as my eyes scan around. Tom's underneath a guy, his face bloody as he takes punch after punch. Tawnie's hair is between another girls fingers, both of them swaying as they fall to the ground. Danny's standing over a guy that's laid on his back, his heavy boot colliding with his stomach every few seconds as the guy wretches over in pain. _Everyone is fighting._

"FUCKING BITCH!"

Suddenly, the hand around my wrist disappears and I turn to the body in front of me, watching as Fran falls to the ground. A girl climbs on top of her and grabs her hair, lifting her head up and slamming it into the sand as Fran's fist hits her jaw. My fingers start to twitch as my body trembles, _what do I do? I don't know what to do._

Suddenly, I feel a hand push my back and my face hits the cold sand. A weak groan escapes my lips and I feel a hand tangle in my hair, pulling my head up roughly. I whimper as my scalp starts to sting, the hand forcing me to roll over on my back. My eyes shut for a quick moment as I listen to the world around me. Sounds of fists breaking skin. Sounds of girls screaming and men grunting. _It's all too much._

My eyes open as I feel a hard fist collide with my cheek, my skin growing warm as it starts to pulse. My mouth opens wide as the pain slowly sinks in, my eyes stinging with salty water as they stare up at the guy on top of me. His face glows from the fire only a few feet away, showing me his busted lip with blood dripping down and falling on to my shirt.

"Please?"

I whisper, feeling my body grow weak under his. His chest heaves and he lifts his hand up, balling up his fist as his other hand tightens it's grip on my scalp. His fingers roughly tangle through and he yanks my head to the side, a tear sliding down as my eyes shut; _here it comes._

It doesn't.

I feel his hand softly untangle from my hair, making my heart jolt in my chest as I slowly turn my head and open my eyes. A small gasp leaves my lips as my pupils land on the familiar face, a relieved sob making his eyes trail to mine. Tegan stands behind the guy, his hand tangled in the boys greasy hair as the other holds a small pocket knife to his neck.

"Tegan."

I whimper, softly shaking my head as my eyes look down at the shiny metal. The boy's eyes are wide, his chest heaving at a fast pace with his eyes screwed shut. Tegan's hand jolts against the boys neck and I look up into his eyes, my heart racing at the blood covering his face. Tegan takes in a sharp breath and yanks the boys head around, the knife in his palm as his fist collides with the boys nose. I gasp as the boys body goes limp, Tegan yanking his head back and tossing him to the side. _Oh my god._

Tegan POV:

A weak sob rings through my ears and I trail my eyes to the girl next to him, feeling my nerves explode as she looks up at me with tear stained cheeks. My heart stops as I take in her face, the cut on her cheek spilling a trail of blood as it slowly swells. My heart falls to the pit of my stomach as I close my eyes for a quick second, guilt pouring in as realization hits. _This is all my fault._

I fall down to my knees and Sara jumps, wrapping her arms around my neck as she buries her face into it. My eyes close and I wrap an arm around her slender waist, the other coming to the back of her head as my fingers softly run through her hair. Her body starts to shake in my arms and I pull her closer to me, pushing my face into her hair as soft sobs fill my ears.

"Shh, _baby_. I got you."

I whisper, feeling my lips tremble as the guilt slowly eats away at my bones. Her grip around my neck tightens and I take in a deep breath, her sobs suddenly stopping. My eyes close as I softly sway us back and forth, feeling my stomach turn as I replay the scene in my head. If it wasn't for Sara shaking her head, telling me no . . . the guy would be dead right now instead of unconscious.

"I should have killed him."

I whisper, opening my eyes as my chest starts to heave. Sara's grip around my neck loosens and she slowly pulls back, her glossy eyes staring up at me as her features grow firm.

"Why?"

Her voice is low and it makes my eyes grow soft. I take in a small breath and slowly trail my hand down to her neck, feeling her warm skin under my palm as my eyes take in every inch of her face. The fire makes her skin glow orange, the fresh tear tracks resembling lava spilling from a volcano. The cut on her cheek bone is now purple, the blood slowly drying as the cold air surrounds us. It makes my heart race, my hand tightening it's grip on her neck. _How could I let her get hurt? How could I put something that's so important to me, in harms way?_

"Because, he hurt you."

I whisper through clenched teeth, my jaw trembling as my anger rises. Sara's eyes grow soft as she looks up at me, her grip around my neck loosening as her fingers gently twirl the hair on my neck.

"He's not worth it, though."

She whispers, softly shaking her head. I take in a small breath and lean forward, my forehead resting against hers as my eyes close. The image of Sara underneath the guy burns behind my eyes lids, playing over and over as his hand yanks her head to the side.

"You're worth it, though. I'm supposed to keep you safe."

 _It's been so long since I've had to protect a girl._ Sara's different from Denise, the complete opposite. Denise was wild. A tough girl who could hold her own, she never needed me to protect her. But, Sara? She knows nothing about _this_. She was terrified, and I left her for the wolves . . . all because Ace pushed a button.

"I gotta go."

I whisper, opening my eyes as I slowly pull away. Sara takes in a small breath and stares up at me, confusion laced in her features as I stand up. My eyes start to sting as Ace's voice fills my head, making my eyes close for a quick second as my anger rises once again. Suddenly, I feel a familiar hand rest on the back of my neck. I turn my head to the side and Tom's staring down at me, his eyes searching mine as a small tear rolls down my cheek. He takes in a short breath and looks behind me, his bottom lip twitching.

"I gotta get him out of here, Fran."

He says, softly shaking his head. I hear bodies move around me as I close my eyes, leaning forward and resting my head on Tom's chest.

"Tegan, what's wrong?"

I hear Sara's voice, my jaw clenching as Ace's words grow louder in my head. Tom's fingers tighten their grip around the back of my neck and my hand lifts up to his shirt, balling it up in my fist. _It's been so long since I've had one._

"Sara, stay at my house tonight?"

I hear Fran's voice, my heart racing in my chest.

"I want to go home with him."

Her voice is so low that it makes my fingers tighten their grip on Tom's shirt. Suddenly, I feel a tiny hand rest against the small of my back. Tom's grip on my neck loosens and I open my eyes, feeling tears roll down as my mind slowly grows louder.

"He needs to be alone, Sara."

Fran says, her voice dripping with sympathy. I feel Sara's fingers tighten their grip on my jacket, and it makes my heart skip a beat.

"Tegan, please."

She whimpers, every bone in my body shaking as her voice fills my head.

"I think Tegan needs to be alo-."

"Can we crash at yours, Fran?"

I whisper, my mind suddenly going silent. _Breakdown or not, I can't leave her alone._ The thought of being _away_ from her right now, makes my anxiety rise. But, so does the thought of being _with_ her right now. It's been a few months since I've pulled at my roots and slammed my fists into brick walls, I need to do it. But, not if it means her going home hurt and confused. She's more important to me than _that_ is.

I take in a shaky breath and slowly untangle my fingers from Tom's white shirt, my lips trembling as I turn to her. Every muscle in my body tenses as my eyes land on hers, her pupils swallowing brown as she looks up at me. Confusion. Fear. Anger. And, loneliness. They are all present in her face, and it makes my heart stop. _She looks like she wants to hit me._

"Yeah, you can take Ollie's room. Let's go, guys."

I hear Fran's voice. Everyone around us starts to mumble, Tom's presence leaving me as Sara's grip on my jacket loosens. I reach my hand back and gently grab hers, her eyes softening as I stare into them. _To think, I was actually going to leave her tonight._

I let out a small sigh and turn towards the vans, everyone climbing into them as my feet lazily drag through the sand. Suddenly, I feel Sara's grip on my hand tighten. My body stops instantly and I turn my head, looking down at her. She looking in the direction of the roaring fire, her thumb rubbing over mine as she sniffles.

"What about them, Tegan? Do we just leave them?"

 _Them?_ I look over at the bright flames, my eyes taking in the scene. Bodies are laying next to the pit, some with their faces in the sand . . . others on their backs. I take in a small breath and turn back to the the vans, my eyes on the ground as I rub my thumb against her palm.

"Their friends will come back for them."

I whisper, stopping in front of Fran's Van. I step to the side and turn to Sara, her eyes still fixed on the scene by the fire as she stops. Suddenly, it hits me. _She's never seen anything like this before._ She's never seen bloody faces that are almost lifeless.

"Don't look back, Sara. It's bad luck."

She turns her head to me, her eyes glossy as her grip on my hand tightens once again. _She looks so lost._ My eyes soften and I lift our hands up, gesturing for her to get inside the van. _The only way she'll feel a little better, is if I get her out of here._

She drops her head down and slowly gets in, sitting down right behind the driver's seat as she rests her head against the wall. I let out a small sigh and climb in, turning my body around as I place my hand on the door handle. My eyes trail back over to the roaring fire as Tom starts the engine, bodies starting to move in the sand as a cool breeze passes. _They deserved every hit._

I pull the door forward and it locks into place, the van slowly rocking from side to side as it moves through the lumpy sand. I turn around and trail my eyes to the girl in the corner, her eyes closed as she sways with the car. My feet move and I stop right next to her, sliding down with my back against the wall as my knees curl to my chest. Every one around us starts to whisper as music softly plays through the open air, making my nerves rise.

"I'm sorry, Sara."

I whisper, wrapping my arms around my legs. _Sorry isn't enough._ I drop my head down and stare at my boots, bloods stains covered in sand are scattered everywhere. It makes my stomach turn _. She must think that I'm a fucking monster._ Suddenly, I feel something wrap around my thigh. A chill runs down my spine as Sara gently rubs her fingers over the seam of my jean covered leg. I let out a small sigh and close my eyes, feeling my heart start to race. _Maybe she doesn't think i'm a monster after all._

* * *

I pull the van door back and trail my eyes to the house in front of us, a familiar tune playing through the open air as everyone starts to get up. I look down for a quick second and step out onto the cold concrete, turning my head to the girl in the corner. She's curled into herself, her arms wrapped around her tiny frame as she looks at me. _This girl._

"C'mon, let's get you inside."

I whisper, lifting my hand out for her. Her eyes soften as she slowly pushes herself up from the cold floor, her feet dragging closer as she lifts her palm and places it against mine. My fingers instantly wrap around hers as I take a step back, watching her carefully as she climbs out of the van.

"Where are we?"

She asks, her voice rough and low. I take in a deep breath and pull her closer to me, everyone climbing out as Jeremy's Van pulls up right behind Fran's.

"Huntington Park."

Sara takes her bottom lip between her teeth and turns her head to the side, her eyes roaming over the neighbors house on the right. Women are sitting in the laps of their men, glass bottles with brown liquid in each hand as they throw their heads back with laughter. It makes Sara's shoulders tense.

"A little heads up, Sara. Fran's parents are old timers, so don't let them scare you."

I hear Tom's voice. Sara turns her head to the side and looks at him, his arms wrapped around Fran's neck as his lips curl into a small smile. Sara takes in a short breath and turns to me, her big brown eyes shining under the street lights as my eyes trail to the dried up blood on her cheek. _I still can't believe that I let that happen to her._

"What are old timers?"

She whispers, lifting a hand to tuck away a few strands of hair from her face. _She's scared to be here._

"They're Veteranos."

I whisper, trailing my eyes over to Fran. Everyone's in front of her as they slowly walk down the concrete pathway. I turn my head back to the girl next to me, her eyes watching the bloody and battered crowd with innocent eyes. _She's probably wondering how we're all okay right now._

"C'mon, it's getting cold."

I take a step forward and turn my back to her, my eyes closing as my hand slowly reaches back for her to take. _This is the only way that I'll know if she can still trust me to keep her safe._ I'm leading her into a house that she's scared of, after putting her in the middle of a rumble with fists and knives. Then, I was going to leave her. I didn't mean to, but it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I'll be hurt if she can't do this, but it's something that I have to understand.

I take in a deep breath and look over at the door, bodies entering the house slowly as a cool breeze passes by. Suddenly, I feel a warm familiar palm press against mine, my heart jumping as her fingers curl between mine. _She still trusts me._ My lips pull into a weak smile as my feet slowly move down the pathway, her thumb rubbing against mine with every step we take.

I stop in front of the door and lazily scrape my feet over the door mat, my eyes trailing inside the familiar home. Elton and Roberta are standing behind the couch, dark brown bottles in their hands as they look over every ones face with worry. Elton reaches over the couch and twists the knob on the stereo, the music lowering as Roberta touches Fran's face.

"It was my fault, Birdie."

I feel Sara's fingers tighten around mine as I step inside the warm house, the famous floor board creaking under my weight as Roberta turns to me. Her eyes soften as she looks up and down my body, my pants and shirt ripped.

"Did anyone call the police?"

Elton asks, setting his beer down on top of the stereo. I take in a deep breath and shake my head softly, Roberta nodding hers slowly in relief.

"Good. Anyone hurt?"

My eyes trail over the bodies in the room, every single one shaking their heads with battered faces. Roberta sighs and looks back at me, every one making their way to the hallway as Birdie cocks her head to the side. I let out a small sigh and untangle my fingers from Sara's, dragging my feet across the brown carpet. I stop a few feet from her, my nerves rising as she lifts a hand and touches my jaw.

"You okay?"

She whispers, her eyes roaming over my face with concern. _It makes my guilt rise once again._ It's always been this way with her. Ever since she found out that I was a girl, getting into fights with men. She worries about me every time I walk into her house with a bruised and battered face.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little sleepy."

Birdie takes in a deep breath and nods, trailing her eyes over to the front door. Her lips curl into a small smile and I turn my head, my heart racing at the sight. Sara's leaning against the wall, her eyes set on the ground as she plays with a long silver chain that's hanging around her neck.

"Who's the girl?"

Birdie asks, her voice low. I take in a shaky breath and pull my bottom lip between my teeth, my mind racing a mile a minute. _Who is she?_ She's the girl that made my heart race from across the room at a Joy Division concert.

"Her name's Sara."

I whisper, my eyes trailing back to the woman in front of me. Birdie's smile slowly fades as she looks back at me, worry filling her pupils as they grow.

"Does she know?"

 _There it is._ I take in a shaky breath and lift my hand, nervously running my fingers through my hair as I slowly shake my head.

"I'm trying to find the right time."

Birdie lets out a small sigh and shakes her head, turning back in Sara's direction.

"Sara?"

I close my eyes as my heart starts to race, the sound of little feet dragging across the carpet filling my ears.

"Birdie, please."

I whisper, opening my eyes. Birdie's lips pull into a straight line as a body stops next to me, her slender frame pressing against my arm as her fingers curl between mine. Every bone in my body grows warm as Birdie takes a small step in front of her, my head turning to Sara as she looks up at the woman with sleepy eyes.

"First rumble?"

Birdie asks, lifting her hand and placing it on Sara's bruised cheek. Relief sinks into my pores and I close my eyes for a quick second, my heart slowly going back to it's normal beat as I look at Sara.

"How do you know?"

Her voice is so soft and innocent, it makes a tingle shoot straight between my thighs. I take in a deep breath and softly rub my thumb over hers, feeling the air grow warm as Birdie shakes her head.

"'Cause, you look so lost right now."

Birdie turns her eyes on me and the look on her face makes my nerves shatter. _Her looks will always kill._ I know exactly what's going through Birdies mind, right now. It makes my stomach turn. I already feel guilty for this, but I couldn't just sit there and let him talk about _it_.

Ace knows that Denise is a soft spot for me. _He knows how to push my buttons._ I was crazy over that girl, I can never deny that. Ace knew that she always had me in the palm of her hand, even when she cheated on me with him. The day I found them at the Pier, his tongue clogging her throat . . . I snapped. I broke up with her after I put his face in the ground. One hour later, I found myself at her door step, begging for her on my hands and knees to take me back. Ace is the only one who will ever really know the hold that Denise has over me. I say _has_ , because the scars on my chest will never let me forget her. _He used her to get to me, and it worked._

"I wasn't thinking, Birdie. But, she's safe with me. You know that."

I whisper, my voice low through clenched teeth. Birdie takes in a deep breath and Elton nods his head softly, knowing very well that I can handle my _own_. He's seen me do it plenty of times.

"Go get some sleep, I'll clean you guys up in the morning."

Roberta says, lifting a hand and tapping my cheek softly. I let out a soft sigh and tighten my fingers around Sara's, gently shaking them as I turn to the hallway. Music starts to play once again, another oldie bouncing off the walls as I lead us over to Ollie's open door at the end of the hall.

My feet stop in the doorway of the dim lit room as my eyes trail over to the large bed in the corner of the room. Oliver's small frame is sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes droopy as he lifts his head and smiles up at me with an empty spot. _He lost his first tooth._

"Hey, Bud. What are you doing up so late?"

I ask, taking a step in to the room. Oliver's smile grows wide as he turns his head to the side, his hands lifting up his blue pillow in a flash.

"I'm waiting for the tooth fairy! Ama said she comes in the night time!"

My lips curl into a small smile as I let out a soft chuckle. I feel Sara's fingers squeeze mine and I turn to her, the smile on her face making my heart race as she stares down at the little boy. _She must like him already._ My smile grows as I turn back to the boy, my fingers untangling themselves from Sara's as I walk over to him and kneel down in front of him.

"She only comes if you go to sleep, though."

"Do I have to take my tooth to Franie's room since I'm sleeping with her, uncle Tegan?"

Oliver asks, picking up his small front tooth from the mattress and setting it down on his thigh. I let out a soft chuckle and nod my head, hearing a faint knock on Oliver's bedroom door. I turn my head to the side and look at Fran, her body leaning against the door frame as she smiles down at us.

"Come on, Ollie. Uncle Tom put your favorite cartoon on in the room."

I turn back to the boy in front of me and he slips down from the bed, his tooth protected by his fist as he throws his arms around me in a hug. I smile and wrap my arms around his small frame, patting his back as I feel a pair of small lips press against my cheek.

"Night, Uncle Tegan."

"Night, Bud. I wanna know how much the Tooth Fairy gives you, okay?"

I pull away from the boy and he steps backs, softly nodding his head as Fran calls out his name. I tap his back and he walks away from me, the sound of small feet filling my ears as I stand up.

"Uncle Tegan, huh?"

I hear Sara's voice, my lips curling into a small smile as I turn to her. She's standing only a few inches away, her head tilted to the side with a small smirk pulling at her lips.

"Yeah, Uncle Tegan. We all became _the group_ when he was born, he doesn't know us as anything else."

Sara's smirk fades into a soft smile, a few strands of hair falling into her face. I let out a soft chuckle and take a step forward, my chest inches away from hers as my eyes roam over her face. _That bruise and cut, I can't seem to find it in myself to like it._

With Denise, we had this strange taboo with cuts and bruises. I don't if you would call this normal, but the look of them on each other made our pants wet. After every fight, my fingers would find their way up her plaid skirts and through her fish net stockings. After every rumble, we would sneak behind any building and my face would end up between her shaking thighs.

But, looking at Sara's face. The bruise is already purple, the blood dry. I don't feel like I want to pin her against the wall and finger her brains out. I feel like I want to slam my head into the wall for not protecting her. _I still can't believe that I didn't._

"Look, I'm sorry about tonight."

I whisper, lifting my hand and placing my palm on her jaw. Her eyes close for a quick second as she leans into my touch, it makes my heart race.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about, Tegan. Let's just go to bed, okay?"

I take in a deep breath and softly nod my head, feeling a little relief sink in as a faint knock echoes through the small room. I trail my eyes over to the door and Fran's standing there, her black dirty clothes replaced with a white long shirt.

"Everything good?"

I ask, trailing my hand down to Sara's warm neck. Fran's lips curl into a small smirk as she nods her head, her hand reaching down for the doorknob.

"Yeah, just wanted to see if you guys were okay. How are you holding up, Sara?"

Fran asks, trailing her eyes down to the girl in front of me as she tilts her head to the side. I feel Sara's neck strain as she turns her head to the door, her voice soft as she whispers a small 'okay'. Fran's smile grows and she grips the doorknob tighter, wiggling her fingers as she slowly pulls on the door.

"Hey, wait."

The door stops moving and she looks at me, a confused look etched into her features. I pull my hand away from Sara's neck and reach into my back pocket, my fingers gripping the leather as Sara hooks her two index fingers through my front belt loops.

"Put this under Ollie's pillow, yeah?"

I pull my wallet out and unfold it, the thick stack of green paper making my jaw clench with pride. My fingers move through the stack quickly and I pull out a fifty dollar bill, my other hand shoving my wallet back into my pocket as the other holds it out for her to take. Fran quickly steps into the room and her eyes grow wide as she takes the bill from my hand.

"Are you sur-."

"Bye, Fran."

I let out a soft chuckle and look back down at the girl in front of me, my heart skipping a beat as she looks up at me with blown pupils. I take in a short breath and swallow the lump that's starting to form in the middle of my throat, her fingers gently tapping against the lining of my stomach as the door clicks into place. Nerves slowly rise as her fingers begin to drag over my covered stomach, making my blood boil in the most pleasurable way ever.

"It's getting a little hot in here."

I whisper, lifting my hands to the folds of the jacket. Her eyes stay on mine as I shrug the material off, the sound of it falling to floor making my head spin. Sara's eyes leave mine as they trail down my body, my skin burning as my fingers twitch to feel every curve that her body has to offer. Suddenly, I feel her warm palms press against my skin at the lining of my pants; my heart racing as they move slowly to my hips. _What is this girl doing to me?_

Every thought in my mind leaves as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and looks back up at me, nerves exploding at the sight. _Fuck_. _I cant take this anymore._ I lean in and take her bottom lip from her teeth, my tongue softly sucking as my hands come up to her neck. My eyes close. A moan escapes her lips and I tilt my head to the side, my tongue sliding in swiftly as my hands tighten their grip on her creamy olive skin.

"Tegan."

The sound of my name coming from her mouth in the form of a whimper makes my head spin. My hands slowly move down her body as my tongue finds hers, my thumbs trembling as they pass her perky nipples. _God_. This girl is heaven.

My hands stop at the hem of her shirt, my eyes slowly opening as I pull my tongue away from hers. Her lips are glossy, cheeks red as she opens her eyes and looks up at me. I take in a shaky breath and gently pull on her shirt, silently asking if it's okay. Her lips pull into a soft smile and I trail my eyes down, watching as my hands pull the material up achingly slow. _I want to enjoy this._ Suddenly, a loud bang rings through my ears. Sara jumps away from me and my fingers fall from her shirt, her body turning towards the window as her eyes grow wide. _For fucks sake, you have got to be kidding me._

"What was that?"

She asks, turning back to me as another one echoes through my ears.

"Gunshots."

Her eyes grow even wider as she takes a step closer to me, her hands squeezing my hips as another one rings. I let out a small sigh and lean forward, pressing my lips to her forehead as her body trembles. _She's so new to all of this._

"Let's go to bed."

I whisper, pulling my body away from hers as I turn around to the mattress. Her hands disappear from my hips as I lean down and pull back the covers, my feet stepping to the side for her to go in first. Sara slowly climbs on to the white sheets and moves to the wall, her head resting on a mickey mouse pillow as her body wiggles it's way on to her side.

"Are you comfortable?"

I ask, sitting on the edge of the bed with my body turned to her. Her lips curl in to a small smile and she nods, pulling the covers over her chest. I let out a soft chuckle and turn my body, laying my back on the bed as I lift my arm up. Sara takes the hint and wraps her arm around my stomach, her legs tangling with mine as her head rests on my chest. _I will never get tired of laying with her like this._

"Does your cheek still hurt?"

I ask, my hand coming down to wrap around her slender frame as the other rests on my stomach.

"It's just a little sore."

I take in a deep breath and bring my hand up to her hair, softly running my fingers through it. Small grains of sand stick to my fingers and I let out a small sigh, the guilt sinking in once again as she snuggles closer to me. _She should have never gone through that._

"I want you to have something."

I move my hand down from my stomach and reach in to my front pocket, my fingers brushing over the familiar wood as my eyes make out a figure in the popcorn ceiling. Sara's fingers softly tap against my t-shirt covered rib as I pull the folded knife out, my eyes trailing down to the object as her fingers stop moving.

"Tegan?"

 _She's has to be looking at it._ Her voice is laced with confusion. I take in a deep breath and softly grip her head, turning it up to face me. Her eyes are drooping once again, her mouth in a line as she searches my face.

"This is **me** when I'm not around."

I tell her, my heart aching at the look on her face. She tilts her head to the side slightly, eyebrows furrowing with more confusion as my fingers still against her scalp.

"What do you mean?"

"As much as I want to be with you every second of the day, I can't. It'll give me a little piece of mind to know that you have something to protect you when I'm not around."

Sara takes in a deep breath and I gently tap the knife against her hand, her eyes closing for a second as she curls her fingers around it. _I know that this isn't something she wants, but it's something she needs._ Now that Ace knows what she looks like, and who she belongs to . . . I can't risk that.

"Come here."

I bring my hand up and tap it against my chest, letting her know that I want her to be as close to as possible. Her lips curl into a small smile and she scoots up, her stomach pressing against mine as her forehead rests in the crook of my neck. Her warm breath makes my shoulders ease. _I could get used to this._

"Goodnight, Tegan."

"Sweat dreams, Sara."


End file.
